Your Pain Tells The Story of Your Lived Reality

Most of my life, emotional pain meant I was either sinning, in error, or expressing some kind of flaw in my nature.

I learned to see my pain this way through the reactions I received from my parents and culture.  

They routinely responded to my pain with:

- dismissal
- claims that boys don't cry
- shaming of the emotion (why do you feel that way???)
- annoyance at the pain
- sometimes outright rage
- accusation that I feel this way due to some kind of error or sin I've done (what have you done to make yourself feel this way?)

These reactions led me to believe my pain was a shameful, awful thing that I should hide and should try to stop or fix entirely.

I developed deep self-hatred for my pain - because my pain was hated.

I broke through this programming in 2009 when I started to view my pain as the somatic expression of a story - namely the story of what I had been living through.  I had been seeing how my clients pain was telling a story, and it clicked that maybe mine was, too.

Learn in today's episode how pain tells the story of our lived experiences and why this is essential and key to real, lasting healing.


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[The The Essential Codependency Healing Trainings Is Back! We Start September 24, 2023]

Stop codependency and ignite your natural inner advocate by healing the fawn response.  I help you achieve this through my 8-week program, The Essential Codependency Healing Trainings.  

You are gently guided in nurturing more safety, more connection, and more self-worth while reducing your distress, panic, and pain with practices that take around 5-10 minutes a day to complete.

This program is for you if:

- You struggle to say no and keep it
- You struggle with shame or guilt for saying no
- You constantly question your own worth
- You find yourself pleasing others when you really want to be doing other things
- You are stuck in your efforts to feel more freedom, more peace, more rest

None of these struggles are your fault. They're the struggles that show up when you don't have the right knowledge, right tools, or right support for your healing. 

Come learn the knowledge, tools, and support that creates real healing, real peace, and real freedom in your life.

You'll gain the crucial skills of being able to:

- Identify and neutralize your codependent fantasies and connect with reality
- Soothe and care for your anxiety, pain, grief, and other emotions within minutes
- Trust in yourself despite other people's perspectives
- Know and feel your real, innate worth even when others reject you
- Really know and distinguish yourself from others easily and quickly
- Have real boundaries without lots of shame or guilt
- Reduce your pain and increase your peace

This won't take massive amounts of action or time, either. Successful students spend around 2 hours for the class and 30 minutes for the practices per week and report big drops in anxiety, shame, guilt, people-pleasing, and trying to be perfect.

Students also report:

- Feeling big relief from trying so hard to fix themselves
- More freedom in having their own feelings, perspectives, and direction
- Less anxiety, shame, and guilt
- Increases in peace, rest, and confidence
- Feeling more sane, clear, and hopeful
- Reduction in need to people-please or be perfect
- Hope and confidence in their f