The 3 perils of doing it yourself healing...

I have done a lot of DIY healing. Some of it was all I had available to me due to finances. Much of it was due to a deep wound in my identity that said, "be needless. do it yourself" and "when they know you this way, they'll abandon you."

Being raised to regulate other people's feelings with the promise that they'll take care of me and then being betrayed and abandoned when I was in need created this.

Many "needless" codependents have this same struggle.

If this is you, I see you and hold great warmth and understanding.

And there are 3 things you need to "chew on" if you're in this place and considering bringing on help (mine or others):

1) DIY cannot show you the blind spots you have. You need an independent set of eyes to help you see what you're unconscious to in your behaviors, beliefs, and patterns.

You *will* repeat your patterns if the blind spots are not made conscious and shifted.

You deserve a mentor, a course with community support, or therapist that see you warmly, kindly, and honestly.

2) DIY will cost you more in time, emotion, health, and money in the long run. It's cost me over 100K along with many sleepless, stressed nights and days.
You deserve to rest, to have returns on your time, energy, and money that bring more to your life.

If the money isn't there, I recommend sticking to specific people's youtube, podcast, email, etc that you trust.  Do what they recommend. Practice and stay CONSISTENT. Jumping around will interfere more than it will help.

3) DIY feeds into the narrative that you don't need others. You do. You know you do.

You deserve community, belonging, and supportive reflection.

It is time to end the Do-it-Yourself Healing fantasy. We need you. You need us. We heal together. We thrive together.

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People-pleasing Transformed - 6 Weeks To Radical Self-Trust And Peace

This 6-week journey guides you through unblending from your people-pleasing identity, embodying your Confidence Identity, and have the capacity to tolerate and soothe the discomfort that moves you to override your boundaries, ignore your needs, and tolerate things that hurt or drain you.

We start January 26, 2025 at 3pm Mountain Time.

Investment: $197

Click here for more details and to join: https://ppt.freetheself.com

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Connect with me here: https://links.freetheself.com

Changing our minds is an essential part of being our personal, sovereign authority.

And I have changed my mind and made a change.

FOUNDATION is rescheduled for later this Spring so I can follow what the energy I feel is directing:

People-pleasing Transformed - 6 Weeks To Radical Self-Trust And Peace

This 6-week journey guides you through unblending from your people-pleasing identity, embodying your Confidence Identity, and have the capacity to tolerate and soothe the discomfort that moves you to override your boundaries, ignore your needs, and tolerate things that hurt or drain you.

We start January 26, 2025 at 3pm Mountain Time.

Investment: $197

Click here for more details and to join: https://ppt.freetheself.com

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We Heal Together. We Thrive Together.

Join the Heal Your Codependency Community and receive Marshall's guidance, tools, and community support in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction.  Click here: https://join.freetheself.com

What Purpose Is Driving Your Healing?

We have motivators that drive what we do.

The motivators that drive codependency are very, very different from those that drive our well-being.

In this episode, I discuss these two types of purpose and how to detect and shift them so you're coming from alignment with your power rather than the reactive nature of codependency, resulting in more outcomes you want.

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CORRECTION: Class starts SUNDAY JANUARY 19th, 2025.

FOUNDATION starts January 19th, 2025. Enjoy greater emotional safety, belonging, and real self-worth through this 15-class live training.  This for ALL codependents that are seeking to finally stop being codependent and feel safe enough to stand up for themselves, choose themselves, trust themselves, and love themselves.

We start January 19, 2025 at 3pm Mountain Time.  Register here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

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THE EVERYTHING FOREVER PROGRAM IS ABOUT TO GO AWAY FOREVER

Have you ever wanted to have access to everything a coach, leader, or mentor offers?

Have you wanted to feel the security of knowing when they release their next course, training, or group program, you don’t have to come up with the money to attend it?

Instead, you get an email saying, “Your membership to the Everything Forever Program has secured your spot in this course! Click here to register so we know you’re coming!”

That’s what the Everything Forever Program is.

And it goes away forever January 1st, 2025.

Learn more here: https://forever.freetheself.com

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START YOUR WORK

Looking for more guidance, tools, support, in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction?

Start your work here: https://join.freetheself.com

2025 brings you and I into a pivot in the work.  I will be focusing on leading you to the results that matter to you. 

This all starts with understanding IDENTITY. And through a 4-step process, you get the results you seek faster and easier than you've thought was possible.

I'm calling it, "ACCELERATE". 

My "Leap The Gap" Training happening December 18th will show you what this is, how it works, and why it will transform your healing work into satisfaction, success, peace, or even surprise for you quickly.  Register here: https://leap.freetheself.com

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Black Friday Deals:  Get notified by going here:  https://www.freetheself.com

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Jumpstart your healing with CLARITY, my 4-day email course here: https://clarity.freetheself.com


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Connect with Marshall and his healing work here: https://links.freetheself.com

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When you've gone through trauma, the brain tends to amplify it's negative bias, creating negative anticipation towards uncertain things.

We find ourselves planning for the worst, as it gives us a sense of power and comfort.  It makes sense.  The negative thing has happened to us in the past and we want to be prepared.

This must be balanced with positive anticipation, especially when facing the mundane uncertainties life brings us.

Learn a gentle, two-step practice to start experiencing more peace, confidence, and power in facing uncertainty in today's episode!


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Jumpstart your healing with CLARITY, my 4-day email course here: https://clarity.freetheself.com


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Connect with Marshall and his healing work here: https://links.freetheself.com

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Course Links:

FOUNDATION: To exit the survival phase of codependency and enter real healing and creation, you must develop emotional safety, social belonging, and independent self worth. I call these the Three Necessities, and they are what causes your body to start advocating instead of functioning from codependency.  You cannot have peace, freedom, healthy relationships with these solidly in place.

Foundation guides you step-by-step in creating real emotional safety, belonging, and self-worth over 15 weeks.  If you're ready to be done with the pain, shame, and chaos codependency brings to your life, start here.  

Get details and your seat here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

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TRANSFORMATION Membership: Wondering what's next after all the healing work you've done?  I have the answer:  Having what you want. Master your innate power to craft and enjoy experiences you want in your life.  Learn more here: https://transformation.freetheself.com

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PRIVATE MENTORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES:

8-week Alignment Accelerator:  Stop trying and start having what you desire.  Learn more here: https://www.experiencecrafting.com

12-Month 4-QUADRANT Alignment Mentorship:  Align and get the results you want in relationship, purpose, prosperity through discovering and mastering your Aligned Identity.  Only 5 seats per year are available.  Learn more here: https://www.experiencecrafting.com

 It will be essential, at some point, to admit to and embrace the authority and power you rightly, naturally possess to direct and govern your life.

You cannot exit codependency without this vital step, as it will keep you tethered to the power of other people's approval, rejection, disappointment, and agreement.

The anxiety of making your own choice, following your own path, even trusting yourself to choose what's best for you on a daily basis comes from tethering our personal authority and power to the approval and perspectives of others.

You don't trust yourself because someone else is being put in the position of authority by your mind.

Let's break this spell and put you back in charge of your adult life with today's episode! 

*** START HEALING BY JOINING MY HEAL FOR REAL WORKSHOPS

Join my monthly Heal For Real workshops where we explore a specific element of healing codependency and put into practice a solution for that element.  Click here to learn this month's topic and enroll:  https://workshop.freetheself.com

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Connect with Marshall and his healing work here: https://links.freetheself.com

***

Course Links:

FOUNDATION: To exit the survival phase of codependency and enter real healing and creation, you must develop emotional safety, social belonging, and independent self worth. I call these the Three Necessities, and they are what causes your body to start advocating instead of functioning from codependency.  You cannot have peace, freedom, healthy relationships with these solidly in place.

Foundation guides you step-by-step in creating real emotional safety, belonging, and self-worth over 15 weeks.  If you're ready to be done with the pain, shame, and chaos codependency brings to your life, start here.  

Get details and your seat here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

How a therapist, coach, mentor, support community, or even yourself view codependency and codependents directly influences the outcomes, results, and transformation you experience (or don't) in that relationship.

This is why it is crucial you're aware of how prospective mentors, therapists, coaches, and so forth view and understand you and the topic you're working with.  

Today, I share how I view codependency and codependents.  This will help you make a more informed decision about if and when to join my work and allow me to lead you from codependency to your real worth, innate purpose, and satisfaction in your life. 

Listen in and let me know your thoughts in the comments!

*** START HEALING BY JOINING MY HEAL FOR REAL WORKSHOPS

Join my monthly Heal For Real workshops where we explore a specific element of healing codependency and put into practice a solution for that element.  Click here to learn this month's topic and enroll:  https://workshop.freetheself.com

***

Connect with Marshall and his healing work here: https://links.freetheself.com

***

Course Links:

FOUNDATION: To exit the survival phase of codependency and enter real healing and creation, you must develop emotional safety, social belonging, and independent self worth. I call these the Three Necessities, and they are what causes your body to start advocating instead of functioning from codependency.  You cannot have peace, freedom, healthy relationships with these solidly in place.

Foundation guides you step-by-step in creating real emotional safety, belonging, and self-worth over 15 weeks.  If you're ready to be done with the pain, shame, and chaos codependency brings to your life, start here.  

Get details and your seat here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

The Importance of Gains:

What is a gain?  It is a positive outcome we receive through a choice we make or a choice we do not make.  

An example:  I gained my peace of mind by not going back to the dysfunctional person.

Why does this matter?  Gains are the benefits we receive with a positive, healthy change.  If we let ourselves recognize and magnify the gain, it helps our body adapt and adjust quickly to the new state of affairs rather than linger in the yearning, seeking, or rumination on the positives of the other situation.

Gains can be determined by identifying:

1) What you gained with the choice

2) What you avoided with the choice


You can amplify them by:

1) Adding significance to the gain.  "Wow, I really did avoid more pain there.  That's really, really important to me and my well-being."

2) Adding praise to yourself: "Wow, I really did avoid more pain there. I am so proud of myself for doing that for me."

3) Allowing them to take up more emotional space in your body and experience than you normally would. Allow them to be bigger


The key to gains working for you is believing their inherent importance and worth and letting yourself FEEL them.

*** START HEALING BY JOINING MY MONTHLY WORKSHOPS

Join my monthly workshops where we explore a specific element of healing codependency and put into practice a solution for that element.  Click here to learn this month's topic and enroll:  https://workshop.freetheself.com

***

Connect with Marshall and his healing work here: https://links.freetheself.com

***

Course Links:

FOUNDATION: To exit the survival phase of codependency and enter real healing and creation, you must develop emotional safety, social belonging, and independent self worth. I call these the Three Necessities, and they are what causes your body to start advocating instead of functioning from codependency.  You cannot have peace, freedom, healthy relationships with these solidly in place.

Foundation guides you step-by-step in creating real emotional safety, belonging, and self-worth over 15 weeks.  If you're ready to be done with the pain, shame, and chaos codependency brings to your life, start here.  

Get details and your seat here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

Pain vs Your Story

Transformation of a person's pain-filled life to a joy-filled life is the journey of healing and becoming who you truly be.  

It has three Phases:  Survival, Healing, and Creation  

And in each of these, there is a work we do around identity and one's pain.

In the Survival Phase, the pain and the identity are the same.  "I am angry!"  "I am shameful!"  "I am unworthy!"  "I am invisible!"  

This creates the never-ending loop of painful outcomes that drive many of us to seek relief from these things through healing work.

Learn the gentle process I use and I take my students through to help end this painful pattern and find real peace and healing in today's episode!

*** START HEALING WITH MY 4-DAY CLARITY COURSE

Discover what codependency really is and get the two essential practices to help start healing the true cause of codependency in my 4-day email course, CLARITY.  Start now for free: https://join.freetheself.com

***

Connect with Marshall and The Healing Work here: https://links.freetheself.com

***

Course Links:

FOUNDATION: To exit the survival phase of codependency and enter real healing and creation, you must develop emotional safety, social belonging, and independent self worth. I call these the Three Necessities, and they are what causes your body to start advocating instead of functioning from codependency.  You cannot have peace, freedom, healthy relationships with these solidly in place.

Foundation guides you step-by-step in creating real emotional safety, belonging, and self-worth over 15 weeks.  If you're ready to be done with the pain, shame, and chaos codependency brings to your life, start here.  

Get details and your seat here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

Burden of Cause

What is the "burden of cause"?  

It is a term I use to describe believing you cause other people to treat you the way they treated you.  
When we are enmeshed this way, we will internalize people's behaviors as a reflection of some internal flaw or problem that we then must change. 

This leads us to believe that the other person will change, too, creating a potent fantasy that leaves us hurting, helpless, and confused.

Listen in this episode to learn how to detect if you're taking on this burden and how to shed it completely.

*** START HEALING WITH MY 4-DAY CLARITY COURSE

Discover what codependency really is and get the two essential practices to help start healing the true cause of codependency in my 4-day email course, CLARITY.  Start now for free: https://join.freetheself.com

***

Connect with Marshall and The Healing Work here: https://links.freetheself.com

***

Course Links:

FOUNDATION: To exit the survival phase of codependency and enter real healing and creation, you must develop emotional safety, social belonging, and independent self worth. I call these the Three Necessities, and they are what causes your body to start advocating instead of functioning from codependency.  You cannot have peace, freedom, healthy relationships with these solidly in place.

Foundation guides you step-by-step in creating real emotional safety, belonging, and self-worth over 15 weeks.  If you're ready to be done with the pain, shame, and chaos codependency brings to your life, start here.  

Get details and your seat here: https://foundation.freetheself.com