Your Zen Friend

Send Lauren a text!

Welcome, Zen Friend! ✨ In this episode, we’re diving into perfectionism—how it ties to anxiety, how to spot it in your tween or teen, and what you can do to help.

Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting to do things well; it’s often driven by fear and worry. We’ll explore how this anxiety shows up in academics, extracurriculars, body image, and even social settings. I’ll share insights from my experience as a licensed therapist, including why perfectionism is so tricky to treat and how to approach it with compassion.

🎙️ In This Episode:

• Signs your tween or teen might be struggling with perfectionism
• Why perfectionism feels like a "sneaky" type of anxiety
• Practical tips for supporting your child, like fostering a growth mindset and challenging all-or-nothing thinking
• The importance of rest, balance, and modeling self-compassion

Plus, stay tuned for the segment, What’s Bringing Me More Zen—the item I talk about today are perfect for a fun and inexpensive gift (think stocking stuffer)! 🎁 It's also a great treat yo' self item that is perfect in the colder months ⛄️

Links to What's Bringing Me More Zen:
https://a.co/d/aq7s5o5: If you have a TJ Maxx near you this item is much cheaper there!

💌 Let’s Connect!

• Website: yourzenfriend.com 
• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: @yourzenfriendpod
• Join our private Facebook group: Your Zen Friend

Remember, parenting an anxious tween or teen is challenging—I hope you'll do something kind for yourself today and everyday ☺️

🌟 If you are enjoying this podcast please take a moment to rate and review it on Apple or Spotify. Or even better, share it with a friend! 💕

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and not intended to be a replacement for diagnosis, mental health therapy or psychological treatment of any kind. Please consult with your doctor or mental health provider in order to care for your physical or mental health.

Send Lauren a text!

When your child struggles with anxiety, it’s natural to want to make the anxiety go away. But sometimes our efforts result in making anxiety bigger. In this episode, I'm talking about three common mistakes parents (and sometimes even therapists) make when trying to support children and teens. And most importantly, I'll tell you what you can do instead to help effectively reduce your child's anxiety.

And stay tuned till the end of this episode when I tell you What's Bringing Me More Zen. This week's segment is different than usual because I have actually not been feeling so zen lately. I'll tell you what I've been doing to manage during this difficult time. 

1. Reassuring Too Much or Trying to “Fix” the Problem 

It’s instinctive to want to ease your child’s worries with plenty of reassurance or by solving the problem right away. But too much reassurance can actually send the message that their fears are too big to manage on their own, which can reinforce anxiety. I'll tell you what you can do instead of overly reassuring or rescuing your child from their fear.

2. Avoiding the Things that Cause Anxiety

When a certain situation—like going to school, joining a sports team, or talking to people—causes your child anxiety, it might feel helpful to keep them away from those triggers. While avoiding these situations might bring relief in the short term, it often makes anxiety worse over time, reinforcing the idea that the fear is too overwhelming to face. I'll tell you how using exposure is the key to decreasing fear and teaching your child that they can handle uncomfortable feelings and uncertainty.

3. Dismissing or Minimizing Their Feelings

Sometimes, in an effort to help your child feel stronger, it’s tempting to say things like “There’s nothing to worry about,” or “You’re fine.” While these statements come from a place of love, they can leave your child feeling misunderstood or even ashamed of their feelings. I'll tell you how it's more helpful to validate  emotions—letting your child know that it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling. When kids feel safe and understood, they’re more likely to open up and face their fears with support. 

Finding the Right Balance

Helping your child with anxiety isn’t about making the fear disappear; it’s about supporting them in facing their feelings a little at a time. By validating their emotions, encouraging small steps, and being a steady source of support, you can help them build confidence and resilience. This will make a big difference in helping your child thrive!

I'd love to hear from YOU! Send me a question and I might answer it in an upcoming solo episode. Here's how to connect with me:

For information on Lauren's counseling services for kids, teens and families check out: https://www.laurencounseling.com/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/yourzenfriend

Email me at: [email protected]

Find me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/yourzenfriendpod/

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review! 

ChatGPT can make mistakes. Check important info.

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and not intended to be a replacement for diagnosis, mental health therapy or psychological treatment of any kind. Please consult with your doctor or mental health provider in order to care for your physical or mental health.

Send Lauren a text!

In this episode, I’m talking about how anxiety often looks confusing in tweens and teens—sometimes appearing as irrational fears or even "bad behavior." Many parents question whether their child’s reactions are actually anxiety or just acting out. Using real stories and examples, I show why these fears may not make sense but are still very real.

Sometimes a kid's fear seems to make no sense. I'll tell you a story of a tween who was only slightly nervous while performing on stage but felt too afraid to buy school lunch. I'll share some of the steps that helped this boy to challenge his fear.

I will encourage you, as a parent, to approach moments like these with compassion. In these anxious moments your kid is not intentionally trying to blow up your day, even though it sometimes feels like it! And I also urge you to have compassion for yourself as well. Parenting a tween or teen with anxiety is challenging, and offering yourself some grace is super important!

And stay tuned for What’s Bringing Me More Zen. Here’s a hint: lately, I’ve been crafting... wait for it... for the holidays! Yes, it’s totally unlike me to be this far ahead of the season. I’ll share what I’ve been working on—and actually finishing!

Mentioned on this episode:
Check out Episode #98: Anxiety Symptoms in Kids and Teens That Might Surprise You. Link in the show notes.

https://www.woolandthegang.com/en/products/can-you-feel-it-cushion?taxon_id=3&_gl=1*1vwhiwu*_up*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQjwj4K5BhDYARIsAD1Ly2pAad-drz5ocgSnfpRKSihPbmjmc649-wOOCX44TY8JR5VexOARzVUaAnnVEALw_wcB

https://a.co/d/iteONgb

I'd love to hear from YOU! Send me a question and I might answer it in an upcoming solo episode. Here's how to connect with me:

For information on Lauren's counseling services for kids, teens and families check out: https://www.laurencounseling.com/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/yourzenfriend

Email me at: [email protected]

Find me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/yourzenfriendpod/

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review! 

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and not intended to be a replacement for diagnosis, mental health therapy or psychological treatment of any kind. Please consult with your doctor or mental health provider in order to care for your physical or mental health.

Send Lauren a text!

In this episode, we’re getting real about healing. Whether you or your tween or teen are dealing with anxiety, chronic pain, or just about anything else, I’ve got you covered. I’ll talk about some common misconceptions I see in my work with counseling clients, and share my favorite way to look at the healing journey - imagining  a game board of life. This simple analogy can help you, your tween or teen to stay motivated and focused, even when setbacks happen.

What You’ll Hear:

• Healing Realities: How we often expect healing to be a straight line when in fact it's more of a roller coaster 
• The Game Board Analogy: Imagine your recovery like moving a game piece across a board game. Even if you hit a tough spot, you’re still ahead of where you started!
• Supporting Progress: Practical tips for helping you or your child stay on track without losing sight of the progress made.

And stay tuned till the end of the episode when I tell you, What’s Bringing Me More Zen. I’ll share something that’s been helping me stay cool and comfortable, sleep better all year long. 

Mentioned on this episode:   https://a.co/d/fqtr2Bv

I'd love to hear from YOU! Send me a question and I might answer it in an upcoming solo episode. Here's how to connect with me:

For information on Lauren's counseling services for kids, teens and families check out: https://www.laurencounseling.com/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/yourzenfriend

Email me at: [email protected]

Find me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/yourzenfriendpod/

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review! 

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and not intended to be a replacement for diagnosis, mental health therapy or psychological treatment of any kind. Please consult with your doctor or mental health provider in order to care for your physical or mental health.

Send Lauren a text!

In this final part of our series on Anxiety, Physical Symptoms, and Chronic Pain, I’m sharing my own journey with chronic pain—what I’ve learned, how I’m doing now, and what I’m still working on. Stay tuned for "What’s Bringing Me More Zen" this week—believe it or not, it’s social media-related!

Highlights:

• My Story: How chronic headaches began 10 years ago and the path to understanding my symptoms as "neuroplastic" pain.
• Stress & Pain Connection: How perfectionism and people-pleasing  contributed to my symptoms.
• Where I Am Now: I’m doing well at 52, thanks to self-care practices like meditation, journaling, and learning to say "no."
• Helping Clients: I use techniques like Pain Reprocessing Therapy to help clients manage anxiety and chronic pain.

And stay tuned for What’s Bringing Me More Zen with my friend Cassie and a beaver named Nibi!

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

• Ep#87 My Personal Story of Growing up with Anxiety and Raising a Child with Anxiety: https://www.laurencounseling.com/podcast/episode/7d94c69f/my-personal-story-of-growing-up-with-anxiety-and-raising-a-child-with-anxiety-and-a-podcast-announcement
• Follow @ThatGoodNewsGirl on Instagram
• Episode #18: "Finding Purpose in Animal Care and Wildlife Protection", with Cassie Keely: https://www.laurencounseling.com/podcast/episode/7bca59de/finding-purpose-in-animal-care-and-wildlife-protection

I'd love to hear from YOU! Send me a question and I might answer it in an upcoming solo episode. Here's how to connect with me:

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/yourzenfriend

Email me at: [email protected]

Find me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/yourzenfriendpod/

For information on Lauren's counseling services for kids, teens and families check out: https://www.laurencounseling.com/

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and not intended to be a replacement for diagnosis, mental health therapy or psychological treatment of any kind. Please consult with your doctor or mental health provider in order to care for your physical or mental health.

Send Lauren a text!

In today's episode, we're talking all about chronic pain, what it is, why it happens, and, most importantly, how you can find hope and healing!

I'll start this episode by telling you how anxiety and pain act like alarm bells, signaling danger even though it is sometimes a false alarm. I'll tell you why the brain can incorrectly send out danger signals and explain the differences between neuroplastic pain and structural pain. I'll also provide you with questions to ask yourself to determine which type of pain you are experiencing. This will help you to take the necessary steps towards feeling better.

Stay tuned till the end of the episode when you’ll learn some practical ways to prevent pain and hear about Pain Reprocessing Therapy (PRT), a powerful approach for rewiring the brain to reduce (and even eliminate) pain. 

This is the 2nd episode in a 3 part series on anxiety and chronic pain. Missed last week's episode? No worries! In it I told you about the connection between anxiety, pain, and physical symptoms. I will recap some of that info in this episode. If you also want to listen to this episode check it out: https://www.laurencounseling.com/podcast/episode/7f785e8b/the-mind-body-connection-understanding-anxiety-pain-and-physical-symptoms-in-tweens-teens-and-adults 

Resources and Support for Your Healing Journey:

1. Recommended read: The Way Out by Alan Gordon for anyone curious about PRT: https://a.co/d/0H25HZD
2. Check out last week's "Drop of Zen," short guided meditation for somatic tracking and training the brain to decrease pain: https://www.laurencounseling.com/podcast/episode/7f574a41/drop-of-zen-~-somatic-tracking-mediation-for-pain-or-anxiety
3. If you’re in CT, my colleague Kayla Defeo and I are here to help! Visit Firefly Counseling and Wellness
4. Find a clinician who can help you recover from chronic pain here: https://www.painreprocessingtherapy.com/directory-of-practitioners

I'd love to hear from YOU! Here's how to connect with me:

Find me on my website: https://www.laurencounseling.com/

Email me at: [email protected]

Find me on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourzenfriendpod/

Join our private Facebook group where we keep the conversation going in between episodes: https://urlgeni.us/facebook/YourZenFriend

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and not intended to be a replacement for diagnosis, mental health therapy or psychological treatment of any kind. Please consult with your doctor or mental health provider in order to care for your physical or mental health.

Send Lauren a text!

Parenting a tween or teen with anxiety is challenging! This Drop of Zen, a short guided mediation, is designed to offer parents some needed support and self care.

This mediation is perfect to do anytime you (or your tween or teen) are experiencing pain, anxiety or uncomfortable physical sensations. Ideally you want your symptoms to be at a 6 or less when rating your symptoms from 0-10.

This exercise is a technique used in Pain Reprocessing Therapy, also known as PRT. It is helpful to do to help your brain and nervous system to know you are safe and with practice will decrease anxiety, pain or uncomfortable physical sensations. 

For more information on what anxiety, pain and physical symptoms have in common and how to manage them check out this episode #104, The Mind Body Connection: Understanding Anxiety, Pain and Physical Symptoms in Tweens, Teens and Adults
https://www.laurencounseling.com/podcast/episode/7f785e8b/the-mind-body-connection-understanding-anxiety-pain-and-physical-symptoms-in-tweens-teens-and-adults

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and not intended to be a replacement for diagnosis, mental health therapy or psychological treatment of any kind. Please consult with your doctor or mental health provider in order to care for your physical or mental health.

Send Lauren a text!

In this episode, I tell you what anxiety and has in common with pain and physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches and back pain —not just in kids, but adults too. I’ll break down the concept of neuroplastic pain, which happens when the brain misinterprets safe signals as dangerous, causing physical discomfort. I'll also provide practical tips on how to help yourself, your tweens, or teens manage these symptoms and feel better.

And stay tuned till the end when I tell you, What's Bringing Me More Zen. Here's a hint, this is something that had me going to bed earlier and staying up later and gave me some good laughs along the way.

This is part of a series on anxiety, physical symptoms and chronic pain. Make sure to follow or subscribe so you get all of the episodes delivered to your favorite podcast app.

And if you know someone that would find this episode helpful, please share it with them!

Mentioned on this episode:
Nicole Sachs' Podcast, The Cure for Chronic Pain: https://app.kajabi.com/podcasts/2147796867/feed

Your Truly by Abby Jimenez 
https://a.co/d/85rmsef

I'd love to hear from YOU! Send me a question and I might answer it in an upcoming solo episode. Here's how to connect with me:

• Email me at: [email protected]
• Find me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/yourzenfriendpod/

Join our private Facebook group where we keep the conversation going in between episodes: https://urlgeni.us/facebook/YourZenFriend

I

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and not intended to be a replacement for diagnosis, mental health therapy or psychological treatment of any kind. Please consult with your doctor or mental health provider in order to care for your physical or mental health.

Send Lauren a text!

Welcome to your Zen Bonus Boost! This is a short (and hopefully sweet) episode designed to offer support, strategies and tips for parents of anxious tweens and teens.

On this episode I'll tell you what I wish more parents would for their tween or teen to help them decrease their anxiety. This strategy is easy and free but many parents resist it.

If you are looking for support for your tween or teen and live in Connecticut, check out my private practice, Firefly Counseling and Wellness: https://www.laurencounseling.com/

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and not intended to be a replacement for diagnosis, mental health therapy or psychological treatment of any kind. Please consult with your doctor or mental health provider in order to care for your physical or mental health.

Send Lauren a text!

On this episode I'll tell you how the language you use with your tweens and teens and the things you say to them everyday could be increasing their anxiety. And have no fear because I'll tell you what you can say instead!

Parenting an anxious tween or teen is challenging! This podcast is dedicated to helping parents support their anxious tween or teen while also offering support to parents!

And stay tuned till the end when I tell you What's Bringing Me More Zen. I'll give you a hint, if you were Goldilocks or a bear you would be pretty excited about this!

Mentioned on this episode: https://www.target.com/p/better-oats-steel-cut-original-11-6oz/-/A-53246704

I'd love to hear from YOU! Send me a question and I might answer it in an upcoming solo episode. Here's how to connect with me:

• Email me at: [email protected]
• Find me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/yourzenfriendpod/

Join our private Facebook group where we keep the conversation going in between episodes: https://urlgeni.us/facebook/YourZenFriend

For information on Lauren's counseling services for kids, teens and families check out:  https://www.laurencounseling.com/

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and not intended to be a replacement for diagnosis, mental health therapy or psychological treatment of any kind. Please consult with your doctor or mental health provider in order to care for your physical or mental health.