Cathy and Todd talk about the collective anxiety so many of us are carrying right now, whether it’s our daily responsibilities or the heaviness of what we’re witnessing on a national or global scale. They discuss Cathy’s three personal guideposts—integrity, humility, and compassion—how these words help her navigate parenting, conflict, relationships, and the uncertainty of this moment, along with the pop culture icons that represent each one. They also take time to talk about the male loneliness epidemic: why it matters, how it’s showing up in culture, and what it means for connection, emotional health, and community.

Some Ways to Support Us

Time Stamp

Links shared in this episode:

For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.

This week’s sponsor(s):

Other Ways to Support Us

AI Summary

Addressing Men’s Loneliness and Adaptation
Cathy and Todd discuss the loneliness epidemic among men, arguing that the phrase “men are lonely” should be reframed as “men are choosing to be lonely” to emphasize personal responsibility. He and his co-host explore ways men can adapt to changing cultural norms, including educational adjustments, vocational training, and redefining masculinity. They also promote their upcoming events, including a discussion on menopause for couples, emphasizing the importance of understanding and supporting partners through life changes.

Finding Personal Stability in Challenging Times
Cathy and Todd discussed the importance of personal words or symbols that can provide stability during challenging times. He shared his three words that he has used for years and believes they hold up under any circumstance. Cathy and Todd also encouraged others to find their own words that resonate with them, using the example of a Spanish word “trabahaba” as a personal preference. The discussion aimed to help individuals develop tools or mechanisms to maintain themselves during non-stable times.

Cathy and Todd’s Car Wash Metaphor
Cathy and Todd discussed his experience with the car wash, emphasizing the feeling of protection and relaxation it provides. He used the car wash as a metaphor to explain his three words: protect, chaos, and car. Cathy and Todd expressed his desire to stay focused and move forward despite the overwhelming negativity and chaos in the world. He encouraged others to find their own metaphorical “car” to help them navigate through life’s challenges.

Integrity and Wholeness in Pop Culture
Cathy and Todd discussed the importance of integrity, using examples from pop culture such as Atticus Finch and Forrest Gump. He emphasized the need to be true to oneself and to act with purpose and behavior. Cathy and Todd also mentioned the concept of wholeness, acknowledging all aspects of oneself and taking care of oneself. He used the character of Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation as an example of someone who embodies integrity despite their flaws. Cathy and Todd’s second word was humility, which he has previously discussed on the show.

Humility and Personal Opinions in Music
Cathy and Todd discussed the importance of humility, emphasizing that it allows individuals to be curious, listen to others, and learn new things. He also highlighted the need for humility in understanding the role one plays in the world and the importance of living in uncertainty. Cathy and Todd further discussed the influence of personal opinions on music and food, emphasizing that everyone has their own preferences. He concluded by expressing his love for pop music and its ability to evoke positive emotions and memories.

Cathy and Todd’s Pop Culture and Life Guide
Cathy and Todd discussed his perspective on pop culture, specifically referencing a YouTube clip where Tarantino talked about his favorite movies. He also shared his thoughts on the TV show Yellow Jackets, expressing his disappointment with the third season but appreciating the finale. Cathy and Todd emphasized the importance of having an educated opinion, like a rock critic, and understanding the tone of a show. He also shared his guideposts for navigating life’s chaos: integrity, humility, and compassion.

Cathy and Todd’s Compassionate Leadership and Home Improvement
Cathy and Todd discussed the importance of compassion and shared his admiration for Mr. Rogers and Dolly Parton as his icons. He also mentioned his favorite song, “What About Bob,” and its connection to the theme of compassion. Cathy and Todd encouraged the audience to choose their own words or systems to help them stay calm in chaos and remember their true selves. He also thanked Jeremy Kraft for his support of Zen parenting and encouraged anyone in need of home improvement services to contact him.

Cathy and Todd talk about the double standard of managing other people’s emotions—how it’s both expected and criticized—and why this kind of emotional regulation is often misunderstood and overlooked. They also discuss menopause and why emotions can shift or intensify, and how learning what’s really going on can help the whole family better understand and respond, rather than dismissing what can be a really difficult time. Plus, they talk about The White Lotus, Yellowjackets, and talk about their upcoming conversation on navigating friendships—with our kids and within ourselves—on Wednesday, April 9th at Deerfield High School.

Some Ways to Support Us

Time Stamp

14:25 The problem with “let them”

Links shared in this episode:

The Unseen Work of Regulating Others

An Oprah Winfrey Special: The Menopause Revolution

For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.

This week’s sponsor(s):

Other Ways to Support Us

AI Summary

Regulating Conversations in Social Situations

Cathy discusses the unseen work of regulating others in social situations, particularly within families. She explains how she often manages conversations to keep them harmonious, ensuring everyone feels included and tempering moods when necessary. This can involve subtle interventions like making eye contact, giving others a chance to speak, or even physically stopping someone from interrupting. While this work can be beneficial, Kathy acknowledges it can also be controlling and exhausting, leading to burnout. She notes that this behavior is both expected and criticized, creating a challenging dynamic for those who tend to regulate others.

Todd’s Perimenopause Experiences and Emotional Changes

Todd discussed his experiences with perimenopause, explaining that hormonal changes can lead to increased anger and emotional vulnerability. He shared that these feelings are temporary and can be managed with the right support. Todd also mentioned the importance of understanding and accepting these changes, rather than attributing them to societal stereotypes.

Supporting Partners Through Menopause

Todd discussed the challenges of supporting his wife during her menopause, emphasizing the need for understanding and empathy. He mentioned Oprah’s recent special on menopause and the importance of learning about the hormonal changes women experience. Todd also expressed frustration with the medical system, feeling he has to advocate for himself and do extensive research to get the right care. He highlighted the need for men to better understand and support their partners during this time.

Addressing Personal and Societal Issues

Todd discussed the challenges of dealing with personal and societal issues while maintaining a positive demeanor. He emphasized the importance of acknowledging and addressing these issues, even if they are uncomfortable or difficult to discuss. Todd also mentioned the need for emotional release and the impact of external factors on personal well-being. The team discussed the importance of open communication and the need to address topics that are often overlooked. Todd concluded by promoting the Team Zen parenting virtual community and the services of Jeremy Kraft.

Todd and Cathy discuss a recent episode of survivor, Cathy’s frustration at Todd’s double parking, as well as humility, masculinity, responsibility, and emotional support in relationships.

Some Ways to Support Us

Links shared in this episode:

Survivor 48 – Jeff Probst Gets Emotional as Eva Opens Up

For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.

This week’s sponsor(s):

Other Ways to Support Us

AI Summary

Zen Parenting Radio: Humility & Survivor

Todd and Cathy introduce episode 809 of Zen Parenting Radio, discussing potential topics including humility, masculinity, and responsibility. They promote Cathy’s new book “Restoring Our Girls” and mention upcoming virtual book club talks and in-person events. Todd also highlights their Zen Talk community and various micro-communities within Team Zen for parents seeking support. They then discuss a recent episode of Survivor, where a contestant named Eva had an intense emotional reaction during a competition, leading to Jeff Probst crying for the first time in 48 seasons.

Joe’s Empathetic Actions in Survivor

Todd discussed an emotional episode from the TV show Survivor where a contestant named Eva, who has autism, experienced a meltdown. Her teammate Joe, who was not on her team, helped calm her down by providing physical comfort and reassurance. Todd highlighted Joe’s actions as an example of masculinity, emphasizing that Joe’s caring and calm demeanor were more important than the game’s rules. Todd also suggested sharing this clip with children as a creative way to teach them about empathy and understanding.

Todd’s Emotional Support and Survivor

Todd expressed gratitude for the support he received from the team, emphasizing the importance of asking for and receiving help. He shared a personal experience of dealing with autism and the need for vulnerability. Todd also discussed the emotional impact of losing a pet and the importance of allowing oneself to feel and process emotions. He praised Jeff Probst’s ability to connect with the audience and share his own experiences as a parent. Todd concluded by highlighting the various aspects of the show Survivor, emphasizing its themes of teamwork, empathy, and human connection.

Demonstrating Family Values Through Pop Culture

Todd discussed the importance of demonstrating family values to children through pop culture examples and real-life experiences. He emphasized the need for parents to model humility and take responsibility for their actions, rather than blaming others. Todd also highlighted the need for children to understand that they have choices in life and should not blame others for their difficulties. The discussion also touched on the concept of humility and its importance in personal and professional life.

Vulnerability and Humility in Relationships

Todd discussed the importance of vulnerability and humility in personal and professional relationships. He emphasized that vulnerability is a sign of strength, as it allows for learning, taking responsibility, and seeking help. He also highlighted the negative impact of overpowering and win-at-all-costs mentality, which can lead to exhaustion and damaged connections. Todd encouraged the group to reflect on their own eulogies and consider qualities they want to be remembered for, rather than focusing solely on power and conquest. He defined humility as having a modest view of one’s own importance, recognizing the importance of learning from others, and acknowledging strengths and weaknesses without arrogance or insecurity.

Todd’s Double Parking Frustration

Todd expressed frustration about double parking outside Chipotle, which he felt was uncool and caused inconvenience to others. He also mentioned an incident where he was in a hurry to get food and blamed Chipotle for having a new dish that made him hungry. Kathy defended Todd’s actions, suggesting that he was just trying to get food quickly and that double parking was not a big deal. However, Todd insisted that double parking was not acceptable and that it was important to be mindful of others.

Emotional Support in Relationships

Todd discussed the importance of emotional support in relationships, using the example of Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco’s podcast interview. He emphasized the need for both partners to feel supported and loved, and how this can lead to a more successful relationship. Todd also shared his own experiences with his wife, highlighting the importance of active listening and empathy in maintaining a healthy relationship. He encouraged others to create the relationship they want, rather than simply accepting a passive or unequal dynamic.

Parenting and Partnership: Humility and Connection

Todd and Kathy discuss the complexities of parenting and partnership, focusing on the importance of supporting each other and repairing relationships after conflicts. They emphasize the value of humility and apologizing to children when mistakes are made, as it strengthens connections and prevents traumatic experiences. The conversation touches on the challenges of overcoming ingrained family patterns and the need for self-compassion in navigating these issues. They conclude by mentioning their financial advisor and a local painter, and reflect on the key themes discussed, including masculinity, humility, responsibility, and connection.

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of raising kids who enjoy learning, emphasizing the need for a play-based learning environment and the importance of not overburdening children with academic tasks too early. They also highlighted the challenges faced by educators, including pressure from parents and curriculum requirements, and advocated for more creative and diverse teaching methods. The conversation also focused on parenting strategies, the role of teachers, and the need for parents to manage their children’s schoolwork, with a particular emphasis on understanding and supporting children’s identities and interests.

Some Ways to Support Us

Time Stamps

4:08 Atlantic Article
16:08 Education System
34:53 Breakfast Club

43:21 Be on your kids team **

Links shared in this episode:

For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.

This week’s sponsor(s):

Other Ways to Support Us

AI Summary

Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More

Raising Kids Who Enjoy Learning
In this episode of Zen Parenting Radio, Todd and Cathy discuss the importance of raising kids who enjoy learning. They explore the education system, focusing on the role of teachers and the impact of the system on children’s learning experiences. They also discuss parenting strategies and the need for parents to manage their children’s schoolwork. The conversation is based on an article from The Atlantic, which highlights the disengagement crisis among teenagers. The hosts emphasize the need for a play-based learning environment and the importance of not overburdening children with academic tasks too early. They also mention a book by Cathy Cassani Adams, “Restoring Our Girls,” which they encourage listeners to read.

Education and Parenting Approaches
The discussion focuses on education and parenting approaches. Todd and his partner emphasize the importance of allowing children to learn independently and fail, rather than constantly nagging or pressuring them. They argue that the purpose of education should be to develop critical thinking skills and a love for learning, not just to achieve high grades or get into prestigious schools. They criticize parents who intervene too much in their children’s education, suggesting that this can lead to disengagement and poor academic performance. The speakers also highlight the challenges faced by educators, including pressure from parents and curriculum requirements, and advocate for more creative and diverse teaching methods.

Supporting Children’s Identities and Interests
Todd discussed the importance of understanding and supporting children’s identities and interests, rather than pushing them towards predetermined paths. He emphasized the need for parents to be on their children’s teams, providing guidance and support rather than pressure. Todd also highlighted the importance of intrinsic motivation and allowing children to explore their passions, rather than solely focusing on academic success. He shared examples of how different children have found their own paths and encouraged parents to redefine what success means for their children.

Todd and Cathy discussed their personal experiences and a Netflix miniseries called “Adolescence,”, focusing on issues such as gender dynamics, male rage, and online influences on young men. They explored the manosphere, its impact on society, and the importance of addressing digital sexism and male supremacy, while also examining family dynamics and communication styles between genders. They emphasized the need for understanding and addressing the experiences of boys and young men, encouraging open conversations about online content and emotions, and promoting positive relationships between genders.

Some Ways to Support Us

Time Stamps

8:21 Adolescence

13:00 Manosphere explained *

26:04 Generational comparison *

32:40 Men vs Women Comparison *

55:12 Boy Values **

Links shared in this episode:

For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.

This week’s sponsor(s):

Other Ways to Support Us

AI Summary

Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More

Quick recap

Next steps

Summary

Discussing Netflix Miniseries on Adolescence
The podcast hosts Todd and Kathy discuss their recent experience of putting down their pet rabbit after 11 years, expressing the emotional difficulty of making that decision. They then introduce a Netflix miniseries about adolescence, focusing on an episode featuring a 13-year-old boy who stabs and kills a 13-year-old girl. The series explores issues such as gender dynamics, male rage, and online influences on young men. Todd and Kathy plan to discuss the episode and encourage listeners to watch the series, which they believe raises awareness about important societal issues.

Manosphere: Digital Sexism and Male Supremacy
Todd discussed the manosphere, a network of online communities focused on men’s issues, including masculinity, gender dynamics, and men’s rights. He highlighted key subgroups within the manosphere, such as men’s rights activists, MGTOW (men going their own way), pickup artists, and red pill communities. Todd emphasized the importance of addressing the manosphere, as it represents an extreme form of digital sexism and male supremacy. He encouraged parents to engage in discussions with their children about these issues, as there is an ongoing emergency that needs to be addressed.

Family Dynamics and Emotional Repression
The episode explores the complex dynamics of a family dealing with a troubled 13-year-old boy named Jamie, who has committed a serious crime. The therapist, a woman in her late thirties or early forties, faces challenges from both Jamie and the male guard as she attempts to assess the boy. The father’s approach to parenting, influenced by his own upbringing, emphasizes improvement over his father’s generation but still struggles with emotional expression. The mother is portrayed as bearing the emotional labor for the entire family, helping her husband, son, and daughter process their feelings while receiving little support herself. The discussion highlights the pervasive influence of the manosphere on young men and the cycle of emotional repression in families.

Gender Differences in Communication Styles
Todd and his wife discuss their different listening styles when their daughter shared stories from her trip. Todd listened passively while his wife was more engaged, demonstrating typical gender differences in communication. They explore how women often share detailed stories to process experiences and emotions, while men tend to prefer bullet points. The conversation then shifts to a TV show where a female therapist uses deeper questioning techniques compared to a male therapist’s more superficial approach. Finally, they discuss a case involving a boy who stabbed a girl after she rejected and cyberbullied him, emphasizing that her actions, while hurtful, did not justify violence.

Understanding Women’s Experiences and Patriarchy
Todd discussed the issue of entitlement and the normalization of dehumanizing behavior, particularly in the context of men and women. He highlighted the cycle of hurt and the need for resilience and adaptation. Todd emphasized the importance of understanding women’s experiences and the need for men to learn the language of women. He also touched on the topic of patriarchy and the need for men to learn how to speak to women and girls in a way that is respectful and understanding.

Gender Friendships: Todd’s Perspective
Todd discussed the importance of having male and female friends, highlighting the cultural aspect of gender friendships. He shared his experiences of having strong female influences in his life, including his mother, sister, and wife. Todd also emphasized the significance of having male friends, which he believes is often overlooked. He mentioned his efforts in introducing his male friends to his female friends, and how this has led to the formation of strong friendships. Todd also touched upon the challenges of maintaining friendships as people grow older and become busier with their lives.

Addressing the Manosphere’s Influence on Boys
Todd discussed the importance of understanding and addressing the experiences of boys and young men, particularly in relation to the manosphere and its influence on their perceptions of masculinity. He emphasized the need for parents to engage in conversations with their children about the content they are exposed to online, and to encourage open expression of emotions. Todd also highlighted the importance of recognizing and addressing the potential harm caused by certain cultural and societal influences, rather than simply dismissing them. He stressed the need for boys to feel valued and worthy, and for parents to provide a supportive environment for their children to develop a positive sense of self.

Addressing Male Rage and Violence
Todd discussed the cycle of pain and violence, particularly in the context of male rage and its impact on women. He emphasized the need to address the root causes of such behavior and encouraged everyone to watch a show that explores these issues. Todd also mentioned a book about real conversations and their impact on daughters’ lives. He ended the conversation by thanking Jeremy Kraft for his contributions.

Todd and Cathy shared strategies for staying informed without burning out from the world, and the need for personal well-being for continued engagement and making a difference.

Some Ways to Support Us

Links shared in this episode:

For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.

This week’s sponsor(s):

Other Ways to Support Us

Bullet points- 

AI Summary

Summary

Parents’ Favoritism and Golden Child
Todd discussed a study by the American Psychological Association (APA) that analyzed data from over 19,000 participants, revealing that parents tend to favor their daughters, eldest children, and more conscientious kids. Todd and the other participants debated the reasons behind this preference, with some suggesting it might be due to the child being easier to parent or more emotionally connected. They also discussed the concept of a “golden child” and how it might be perceived as a way for parents to feel good about themselves rather than a reflection of the child’s actual qualities.

Todd Discusses Jill Scott and Philanthropy
Todd discusses a song called “Golden” by Jill Scott, an R&B singer and actress known for her roles in Tyler Perry’s movies. He then shares positive news from the Good Good Good Newsletter, highlighting Travis Kelce’s donation of a mansion for homeless youth housing and Virginia lawmakers’ unanimous passage of a bill to educate the public about menstrual disorders. Todd expresses his preference for tangible philanthropic efforts and wonders about the implementation of the Virginia education initiative.

Menopause Education and Self-Advocacy
Todd discussed the lack of education on menopause for medical professionals, highlighting the need for women to advocate for themselves and seek information on the topic. He shared his personal experiences and the challenges of finding reliable information, emphasizing the importance of self-education and seeking specialists when necessary.

Todd’s Reflection on Mary Oliver’s Poem
Todd discussed a Mary Oliver poem that resonated with him, focusing on the themes of worry, self-improvement, and health. He emphasized the importance of recognizing when worry is not productive and instead choosing to “go out and sing,” suggesting that this mindset shift can be practiced over time. Todd clarified that the poem does not advocate for complete elimination of worry, but rather encourages individuals to recognize when they are stuck in a cycle of worry and to break free from it.

Todd Discusses Trust and Communication
Todd discussed the importance of trust and open communication in relationships, particularly in the context of parenting. He emphasized that snooping or hiding information is not a healthy approach and can damage relationships. Todd also shared his perspective on the balance between staying informed and avoiding excessive worry or fear. He used examples from popular culture to illustrate his points. The conversation ended with a discussion on the potential benefits of open communication and the importance of understanding human nature in relationships.

Staying Informed Without Burning Out
Todd discusses strategies for staying informed without burning out. He emphasizes setting boundaries around media consumption, diversifying media types, and aiming for “good enough” knowledge rather than trying to understand everything in depth. Todd suggests balancing negative news with positive stories, taking actionable steps when possible, practicing self-care, and being mindful of social media’s effects. He stresses the importance of discernment in choosing what information to consume and engaging differently rather than tuning out completely. The conversation concludes with the idea that maintaining personal well-being is crucial for continued engagement and making a difference.

We discuss Women’s History Month, emphasizing the importance of understanding women’s experiences and challenges in society. They explore various aspects of women’s safety, cultural norms, and the need for men to engage with and support women’s issues. We also highlight the significance of nurturing relationships, adaptability, and women’s role in holding memories and creating change, while encouraging men to be curious and empathetic towards women’s experiences.

Links shared in this episode

Meryl Streep Speaking Men

Women Holding Things

For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.

This week’s sponsor(s):

Some Ways to Support Us

Other Ways to Support Us

AI Summary

Women’s History Month: Engaging Men
Todd and Cathy introduce episode 805 of Zen Parenting Radio, focusing on Women’s History Month in March. They discuss the importance of men engaging with women’s issues, referencing Meryl Streep’s comments on how women have adapted to a male-dominated culture. Todd and Gabby emphasize that understanding women’s experiences is crucial for everyone, not just women. They also mention the origins of Women’s History Month, which began as a week-long observance initiated by President Jimmy Carter in 1980 before expanding to a full month in 1987.

Women’s Safety and Hypervigilance Challenges
Todd discussed the challenges faced by women in navigating public spaces and the responsibility that falls on them to stay safe. He highlighted the mental load of hypervigilance that women often have to bear and the expectation that they adapt to the unsafety of their lives. Todd also shared stories of women who have been abused, stalked, or terrorized, emphasizing the need for understanding and empathy. He suggested that the podcast could serve as a platform for men to understand the experiences of women and to speak up or take action when necessary. Todd also discussed specific cases, such as a professional tennis player who was stalked at a tournament, and the need for women to identify potential threats and take action to ensure their safety.

Empowering Women Through Cultural Awareness
Todd discussed the importance of understanding and addressing the cultural norms that contribute to a lack of safety for women. He emphasized the need for men to listen to women’s experiences and share them with others, particularly with their sons, to help shift the conversation towards prioritizing women’s safety. Todd also highlighted the interconnectedness of the pyramid of rape culture, starting with seemingly benign comments and jokes, which can lead to more severe acts of violence. He suggested that reading his book, “Restoring Our Girls,” could help men better understand women’s experiences and perspectives. Todd also recommended watching certain movies, such as “The Hunting Ground” and a documentary about rape kits, to gain insight into the issues faced by women.

Political Disruptions at Town Hall Meeting
Todd expressed concern about political disruptions and censorship at a recent Idaho Republican Town Hall meeting, where a woman was dragged out for asking questions. He also shared a video clip from Myra Kalman’s book, “Women Holding Things,” emphasizing the need to focus on positive aspects while acknowledging the real-world impact of these issues.

Holding Relationships for Personal Growth
Todd discussed the importance of holding and nurturing relationships, emphasizing that these connections are essential for personal growth and happiness. He contrasted this with the pursuit of power, money, and fame, which he believes can never fully satisfy an individual. Todd also highlighted the significance of humor and adaptability in navigating the challenges of life, particularly for women who have historically been expected to adapt to changing circumstances. He praised the work of Myra’s book and the concept of “holding” as a metaphor for the various responsibilities and relationships that women often undertake.

Empowering Women’s Roles in Families
Todd discussed how women play a significant role in holding memories, rituals, and providing emotional support in families. He emphasized the importance of women in creating change and their ability to bring people together. Todd also acknowledged the hard work women put in and encouraged men to be curious and empathetic towards women’s experiences. He ended the conversation by promoting a local business and mentioning an upcoming women’s group meeting.

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of critical thinking, the avoidance of thought terminating cliches, and the need for clear roles and expectations within their team. They also expressed concerns about the current state of the administration and its impact on society, and highlighted the importance of adapting to changing cultural norms and supporting children’s spiritedness. Lastly, they emphasized the need for open and honest conversations, and encouraged others to join Team Zen and support children’s feelings of unfairness.

For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.

Time Stamps

13:47 Thought terminating cliches

15:42 Todd gets himself into trouble *

51:04 Fathering rebellious daughters *

53:47 Three parenting thought terminating cliches *

This week’s sponsor(s):

Some Ways to Support Us

Other Ways to Support Us

AI Summary

Critical Thinking and Thought Termination
Todd and Kathy discussed the importance of critical thinking and the avoidance of thought terminating cliches in discussions. They highlighted how these cliches can be used to manipulate and control conversations, often leading to unhealthy debates. Todd also introduced a new partner, David Serrano, who is a personal financial advisor. The conversation then shifted to a video clip featuring Ricky Pearsall, a 49er who was shot in the chest, discussing forgiveness. Todd contrasted Ricky’s approach to forgiveness with the idea of keeping discussions open, emphasizing the importance of kindness and compassion in these discussions.

Avoiding Thought Terminating Clichés
Todd discussed the concept of thought terminating cliches and their impact on critical thinking and communication. He shared his experience with a recent incident where he used a thought terminating cliche, which led to a misunderstanding. Todd emphasized the importance of recognizing and avoiding such cliches in conversations to encourage critical thinking and open communication. He also suggested alternative ways to respond to thought terminating cliches, such as asking for more information or expressing willingness to learn. The discussion highlighted the need for effective communication and understanding in personal and professional relationships.

Adapting to Changing Cultural Norms
Todd and his team discussed the importance of adapting to changing cultural norms, particularly for men who are struggling to evolve and learn new ways of compassion and understanding. They also explored the use of thought-terminating cliches, which can hinder meaningful discussions and limit personal growth. Todd highlighted the need for individuals to question and challenge these cliches, especially when they are used to silence or dismiss others, particularly women. The team also discussed the importance of supporting children’s spiritedness and questioning, rather than enforcing compliance, and the need for parents to engage in open and honest conversations with their children.

Navigating Life’s Unfairness With Children
Todd discussed the impact of a quote from his mother, born in 1925, who said “nobody ever said life was going to be fair.” He reflected on how this quote has influenced his parenting, particularly in relation to his daughter Skylar, a junior who qualified for the state finals in speech. Todd emphasized the importance of acknowledging and supporting children’s feelings of unfairness, rather than dismissing them with the idea that life is always fair. He also encouraged others to join Team Zen and highlighted Jeremy Kraft’s services as a painter and remodeler throughout the Chicagoland area.

Todd and Cathy talk with Cara Natterson MD and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, authors of This Is So Awkward, Modern Puberty Explained.  We share experiences and motivations for focusing on puberty and sex education. They also discussed the differences between traditional and progressive education systems, the influence of pornography on societal attitudes towards body hair, and the challenges parents face in navigating conversations about puberty and sexuality with their children. The group agreed on the importance of open communication, maintaining physical affection, and promoting bodily autonomy and agency in these conversations. 

For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.

Some Ways to Support Us

Other Ways to Support Us

This week’s sponsor(s):

AI Summary

Authors of “This Is So Awkward

In the meeting, Todd and Kathy welcomed Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, the authors of “This is So Awkward,” a podcast focusing on helping parents navigate puberty and adolescence. Cara is a pediatrician and best-selling author, while Vanessa is an educator and founder of Dynamo Girl, a program supporting girls’ confidence through sports and puberty education. The discussion was informal and conversational, with the hosts and guests sharing personal details about their lives and families.

Balancing Traditional and Progressive Education

Cara and Todd discuss the differences between traditional and progressive education systems, particularly focusing on exams and emotional intelligence. Cara shares her children’s experience transitioning from a progressive high school without exams to college, noting their initial struggle but eventual adaptation. Less describes her children’s school’s approach to exams, which balances academic assessment with emotional well-being. The group agrees that schools can incorporate both traditional and progressive elements, but it requires a willingness to change established practices and consider new approaches to scheduling and student well-being.

Harlan Cohen’s Advice and LA Fires

In the meeting, Less and Todd discussed their acquaintance, Harlan Cohen, who provides advice on managing college life. Todd shared his experience of sending Harlan’s content to his daughter. The conversation then shifted to Cara, who shared her personal experience of living close to the mandatory evacuation zone during the fires in LA. She expressed the city’s struggle with leadership and the emotional response to the fires. Todd acknowledged the destruction and thanked Cara for her insights, mentioning that people around the country were thinking about her and donating to recommended charities.

Puberty Education and Parental Roles

Todd, Vanessa, and Cara discussed their experiences and motivations for focusing on puberty and sex education. Vanessa shared how her coaching experience led her to found a company focused on girls’ emotional development, and she discovered the need for puberty education after coaching elementary school girls. Cara, a pediatrician, started writing parenting books and was introduced to the topic of puberty through her work with American Girl. Both agreed that puberty education is crucial due to the earlier onset of puberty in girls. The conversation then shifted to the roles of mothers and fathers in discussing puberty and sex with their children. Cara emphasized the need for both parents to be involved in these conversations, as the traditional approach of separating boys and girls for such discussions is outdated and limiting.

Maintaining Physical Affection in Children

In the meeting, the participants discussed the importance of maintaining physical affection and connection with children as they grow older. They highlighted the need for parents, particularly fathers, to continue showing love and affection even as their children develop and may not want to be hugged or cuddled as much. The group also discussed the challenges of navigating changing bodies and the importance of open communication about these changes. They emphasized the need for parents to be aware of their children’s needs and to adapt their approach to maintain a strong connection. The conversation also touched on the cultural shift towards more open displays of affection, particularly among teenage boys. The participants agreed that these conversations are essential for healthy relationships and to prevent feelings of shame or embarrassment.

Body Hair and Societal Attitudes

The participants discussed the influence of pornography on societal attitudes towards body hair, particularly pubic hair. They noted that the trend of body hair removal, especially among young people, has been escalating over the years. The conversation also touched on the concept of “manscaping” and how it has become a rite of passage for teenage boys. The group expressed concern about the negative messages young people are receiving about body hair and the need for constant reinforcement of natural body hair. They also discussed the impact of these attitudes on both boys and girls.

Body Hair Removal Trends and Etiquette

The discussion focuses on body hair removal trends and their implications. Todd and Cara talk about the marketing of hair removal products and the increasing popularity of permanent hair removal methods among young people. Cara emphasizes the importance of educating youth about the long-term consequences of permanent hair removal, as trends change over time. The conversation then shifts to the practical purposes of body hair, including eyebrows, pubic hair, and nose hair. The group concludes by discussing the importance of personal grooming and the etiquette of informing others about visible food or grooming issues.

Navigating Puberty Conversations With Kids

Todd, Cara, and Vanessa discussed the challenges parents face in navigating conversations about puberty and sexuality with their children. They emphasized the importance of using anatomically correct terminology, promoting bodily autonomy and agency, and discussing consent from an early age. They also addressed the issue of parents feeling overwhelmed by the rapid changes in the world and the need for updated, reliable information. The trio agreed to continue their work in providing such information through their podcast and book. They also expressed their desire to collaborate with Todd in the future.

Todd and Cathy reminisced about the evolution of telephones and shared their experiences with prank calls and shared phone lines. They also discussed the importance of open-mindedness, empathy, and understanding in human interactions, emphasizing the need to trust oneself and not rely solely on personal experiences or opinions. The conversation concluded with a reflection on the passage of time and the changing dynamics of family relationships. 

For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.

Some Ways to Support Us

Other Ways to Support Us

This week’s sponsor(s):

AI Summary

Quick recap

Evolution of Telephones and Communication
In the meeting, Todd and Cathy reminisced about their past experiences with telephones, discussing the evolution from rotary dials to cell phones. They talked about the busy signal, call waiting, and the introduction of Caller Id. They also discussed the shift from answering machines to voicemails, and the transition from writing down phone numbers to storing them in phones. They shared their experiences with prank calls, shared phone lines, and the use of 1-900 numbers. The conversation ended with a nostalgic look back at the days of holding phones in the bathroom or on stairs to maintain privacy.

Jalen Hurts and Kendrick Lamar
Todd discusses two topics from the Super Bowl: Jalen Hurts’ management team and Kendrick Lamar’s halftime performance. He praises Hurts for his succinct explanation of why he works with many women, stating it gives him “an eye that I didn’t have.” Regarding the halftime show, Todd describes Kendrick Lamar’s performance as filled with messages and Easter eggs, encouraging viewers to research the meaning behind the songs and imagery. He acknowledges that while not everyone may enjoy or understand Lamar’s music, there is value in being curious and open-minded about it.

Overcoming Personal Experience Bias
Todd discussed the importance of open-mindedness and the dangers of personal experience bias or anecdotal absolutism. He emphasized that everyone sees the world through their own lens, but it’s crucial to be open to learning from others’ experiences. Todd also differentiated between being curious and being willing to learn, noting that curiosity alone doesn’t necessarily lead to growth. He used the example of parenting to illustrate how being open-minded can broaden one’s perspective on the world. The discussion concluded with a reflection on the challenges of maintaining open-mindedness, particularly when faced with differing opinions.

Navigating Trauma and School Refusal
Todd shared a personal experience about navigating his daughter’s school refusal, contrasting it with a friend’s approach of forcing the child to attend school. Todd expressed his belief that his method, which involved allowing his daughter to calm down and then return to school, was more effective in maintaining a connection and avoiding potential trauma. He emphasized the importance of understanding that trauma can manifest differently in individuals and the need for open-mindedness in decision-making. Todd also discussed his past work as a therapist at a children’s hospital, where he observed the limitations of behavior modification programs and the importance of considering various aspects of human behavior in therapy.

Maintaining an Open and Curious Mindset
Todd discussed the importance of maintaining an open and curious mindset, contrasting it with a narrow mindset. He suggested that one can identify their mindset by observing their breathing patterns and body signals. Todd also highlighted the significance of active listening and the challenges it presents in podcasting. He further elaborated on various behaviors that indicate a narrow mindset, such as defensive postures, blaming others, clinging to opinions, suppressing emotions, using distractions, and avoiding disconfirming data. Todd emphasized the need for continuous improvement in these areas to foster a more open and receptive mindset.

Empathy and Understanding in Interactions
Todd discussed the importance of empathy and understanding in human interactions. He highlighted the tendency for people to dehumanize others and shut off their concern for others’ struggles. Todd also shared his personal experience of being sensitive to the emotions of others, which can be both a strength and a weakness. He acknowledged that his interpretations of others’ emotions might not always be accurate and emphasized the need for curiosity and open-mindedness in understanding others’ experiences.

Distraction, Emotions, and Family Dynamics
Todd and the speaker discussed the concept of distraction and its role in managing emotions. Todd initially viewed distraction as a negative, but later acknowledged its potential benefits, particularly in situations where one cannot directly help others. They also touched on the importance of giving individuals choices and autonomy, as opposed to imposing decisions on them. The conversation ended with a reflection on the passage of time and the changing dynamics of family relationships.

Open-Mindedness, Empathy, and Anecdotal Absolutism
Todd and his guest discussed the importance of open-mindedness, empathy, and seeking other perspectives. Todd shared his personal experiences of trying to avoid offending others and how he has evolved in his approach over time. They also touched on the dangers of anecdotal absolutism, where personal experiences are used as the sole basis for beliefs, and the importance of discerning sources of information. Todd emphasized the need to trust oneself and not rely solely on personal experiences or opinions. The conversation ended with a discussion on the role of the internet in shaping our understanding of reality and the importance of discerning sources of information.

Empathy and Understanding in Life
Todd discussed his experiences and how they have shaped his perspective on life. He emphasized the importance of empathy and understanding other people’s experiences, rather than being egocentric or dismissive. He used the example of privilege and the challenges faced by people from different backgrounds to illustrate his point. Todd also referenced Atticus Finch from the book “To Kill a Mockingbird” as a role model for empathy and understanding. He stressed the need to keep learning and listening to other people’s perspectives, rather than assuming one already understands their experiences.