If you don't know what to apologize for when it comes to your estranged adult child(ren), it may be that no apology is needed. But if you sense that an apology would be healing, then there's work to do. Knowing what to apologize for is the result of effort; you have to try to understand what happened in the relationship and why your child currently prefers distance. Tina suggests in this episode that if you don't know what to apologize for, it's probably too early for an apology. Since premature apologies can do more harm than good, Tina outlines steps you can take to acquire the knowledge you need.