In today's episode, Gina interviews Terri Cole, a psychotherapist and relationship expert who has recently written a book on High-Functioning Codependency. Terri shares her story and wisdom regarding this situation (and behavioral set) that is frequently paired with anxiety. Listen in for another angle on a behavioral pattern that is commonly associated with anxiety and how to transform it to feel and live better.

Links mentioned in today’s episode

https://www.terricole.com

https://hfcbook.com

https://www.instagram.com/terricole/

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Quote:

Boundaries aren’t just about keeping people out; they’re about letting peace in. Anxiety lessens when we protect our emotional space.

-Terri Cole

0:42 Introduction to High Functioning Codependency

5:53 Recognizing Early Signs of HFC

10:30 The Role of Anxiety in Codependency

13:57 Personal Story: A Sister's Struggle

19:02 Building Healthier Relationships

20:29 Conclusion and What’s Next

In this episode of the Anxiety Coaches Podcast, we dive deep into the world of high functioning codependency with renowned author and psychotherapist Terry Cole, whose new book, "Too Much," sheds light on this often misunderstood issue. Terry begins by exploring the concept of high functioning codependency, a pattern characterized by overgiving, people-pleasing, and emotional exhaustion, often mistaken for selflessness. She emphasizes how these behaviors can manifest in our lives and compromise our authentic selves, ultimately impacting our mental and emotional well-being.

Through her extensive experience as a psychotherapist, Terry discusses the motivations behind these patterns, pointing out that many individuals, especially women, carry a heavy burden of responsibility for the happiness and success of those around them. She reflects on the irony that the more capable someone is, the harder it is to recognize their codependent behaviors. Terry challenges the traditional view that codependency is solely tied to enabling alcoholics, expanding the definition to encompass a broader spectrum of behaviors that lead to emotional distress.

Terry shares her personal journey, detailing her own struggles with codependency. She recounts a pivotal moment that brought clarity to her understanding of these patterns, sparked by her relationship with her sister, who was in an abusive situation. This experience, combined with professional insights, helped her recognize the distinction between caring for someone and taking on responsibility for their life outcomes. She emphasizes that genuine love allows others to learn and grow from their choices, rather than rescuing them or solving their problems.

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