December 22, 2025

110: 10 Crucial lessons👨🏻‍💼 I wish I Knew about men in my 20s about MEN (avoid my own mistakes)

22 minutes

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What I wish I knew when I was 20 about men.

Truly.

What would I wish I had known when I was 20? 🫂✨

These are the REAL truths about men I learned the hard way.

As an ex–anxious attachment girl.

Heartbroken.

Overthinking every text 📱

Feeling insecure WAY too often 🥶⛈

If you have anxious attachment, this episode is for YOU 🔒🤍

If you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men.

If you chase, overgive, and lose yourself trying to be chosen.

If dating feels like a 🎢 instead of something calm and safe.

In this episode, I’m sharing truths about men for anxious attachment that would have completely changed my 20s.

Psychology hacks

How men’s brains actually work 🔮

How they experience attraction.

How they love.

And why doing MORE usually pushes them away 🚩

This is NOT men vs women ❌

It’s attachment styles.

Nervous system wiring

Polarity.

And why anxious energy quietly kills attraction even when your intentions are pure 🩹

I share what actually makes men pursue 🐆

Why boundaries create attraction

How overgiving backfires.

And what secure love really looks like when you stop performing and start being YOU

This is dating advice for anxious women who want to stop auditioning.

Stop proving.

Stop waiting by the phone 👀📱

And finally feel calm, grounded, and confident in love ✨

I’m Jula

Attachment style coach.

I went from anxious to earned secure 5 years ago in only 6 months🦸🏼‍♀️

Welcome to the Anxious to Secure Podcast 🎙🤍

CHAPTERS:

00:00 10 Truths about men (about attachment styles, polarity, chasing) that would have CHANGED my 20's completely

01:27 01. It was NEVER about “men vs women.”

02:55 02. You teach a man EXACTLY how to treat you in the FIRST weeks.

03:57 03. If you treat him like a toddler, he WILL act like one.

05:29 04. If you want a man to pursue you, STOP performing.

07:37 05. Men respond to your ENERGY, not your anxiety.

09:03 06. Red flags don’t fade - they grow.

10:46 07. You were NEVER “too much.” His capacity was too little.

12:42 08. A man’s effort is the ONLY real truth - not his words.

14:33 9. Love isn’t always “I love you” 50 times a day.

17:30 10. If a man is confused about you, he is NOT your person.

19:57 Summary

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Free Attachment Library

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DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.

This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

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By Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

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