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115: *36 Life Lessons* about love, relationships Attachment
This episode is for the version of you who feels like they’re behind in life…
even though they’ve already survived so much 🫂⛈
If you’ve ever thought:
➞ “I should be married by now”
➞ “Everyone else has it figured out except me”
➞ “Why do I always overthink, attach, or care more?”
➞ “Why does love feel so hard when I try so much?”
This episode will land DEEP 💎🧠✨
In Part 01, I’m sharing the first 18 life lessons I’ve learned about love, anxious attachment, self-esteem, self-worth, friendships, confidence, healing, and choosing yourself.
Not from books.
Not from theory.
From LIVING it 🖤
We start with one of the most important truths:
You are not behind.
Even if you’re not married.
Even if you don’t have the house, the kids, or the five-year plan.
Even if your life doesn’t look “right” on paper 📄🚩
You’ll hear why your brain lies to you about timelines…
and how comparison keeps you disconnected from your own growth 🪞
We talk about why your brain obsesses over the ONE person who doesn’t choose you…
while ignoring the people who already do 💔🎢
And how anxious attachment turns “hard to get” into “must have” 🚩
You’ll learn why everything you want already exists…
and how following the right blueprint changes what feels possible for you
We also get real about confidence.
The difference between external confidence (looks, body, validation)
and real inner confidence that doesn’t disappear when no one texts back 📱🥶
You’ll hear why anxiety isn’t proof something is wrong.
It’s proof your brain THINKS something is wrong 🧠🚨
And how butterflies, nerves, and intensity are not the same as love ❤️🔥🚩
We talk about:
✣ Why doing the same thing over and over keeps you stuck
✣ Why closure doesn’t come from them, it comes from YOU
✣ How repetition literally rewires your brain and attachment style
✣ Why self-criticism trains your nervous system to feel unsafe
✣ How self-trust is built in seconds, not years
There’s a powerful reminder that one day…
you’ll miss the life you’re living right now 🌤🫂
Even the “boring” days.
Even the messy chapters.
We talk about gratitude without bypassing pain.
About how modern dating and technology have changed connection.
And why slowing down your nervous system matters more than getting answers 🔒🧘🏼♀️
This episode also dives into:
✣ Why postponing happiness keeps you anxious
✣ Why healing is about the DAILY habits, not the end goal
✣ Why forcing love never creates safety
✣ Why anxious attachment is NOT your personality
✣ How abandonment wounds make you chase reassurance instead of safety
And one of the biggest shifts:
If you’ve abandoned yourself long enough, others will too.
Over-giving isn’t love.
It’s fear wearing a cute outfit 🫂🚩
This episode is a mirror 🪞
Not to shame you.
But to remind you who you are beneath the anxiety 💎
Listen if you want to:
➞ stop chasing reassurance
➞ stop overthinking texts
➞ stop feeling “too much”
➞ and start building real emotional safety within yourself
Because healing doesn’t start with fixing your partner.
It starts with choosing yourself.
Again.
And again.
And again 🖤✨
🎧 After listening, tell me:
Which lesson hit you in the chest the most?
And which one are you ready to LIVE next?
Lots of love 🫶
I see you.
And I’ll see you in Part 02 ✨🎙
👇 RESOURCES 👇
💎 Courses
✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts
➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resources
Free Attachment Library
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
🖤 About me
I’m Jula, an attachment style coach.
I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨
💌 Work with me
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk
CHAPTER:
00:00 Celebrating 36 Years: A Journey of Lessons
01:15 lesson 01
03:36 lesson 02
04:18 lesson 03
05:18 lesson 04
06:17 lesson 05
07:19 lesson 06
07:47 lesson 07
08:12 lesson 08
08:55 lesson 09
09:58 lesson 10
11:29 lesson 11
13:59 lesson 12
16:12 lesson 13
17:06 lesson 14
17:34 lesson 15
18:05 lesson 16
19:38 lesson 17
20:52 lesson 18
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
View all episodes
By Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach
3.7
33 ratings
This episode is for the version of you who feels like they’re behind in life…
even though they’ve already survived so much 🫂⛈
If you’ve ever thought:
➞ “I should be married by now”
➞ “Everyone else has it figured out except me”
➞ “Why do I always overthink, attach, or care more?”
➞ “Why does love feel so hard when I try so much?”
This episode will land DEEP 💎🧠✨
In Part 01, I’m sharing the first 18 life lessons I’ve learned about love, anxious attachment, self-esteem, self-worth, friendships, confidence, healing, and choosing yourself.
Not from books.
Not from theory.
From LIVING it 🖤
We start with one of the most important truths:
You are not behind.
Even if you’re not married.
Even if you don’t have the house, the kids, or the five-year plan.
Even if your life doesn’t look “right” on paper 📄🚩
You’ll hear why your brain lies to you about timelines…
and how comparison keeps you disconnected from your own growth 🪞
We talk about why your brain obsesses over the ONE person who doesn’t choose you…
while ignoring the people who already do 💔🎢
And how anxious attachment turns “hard to get” into “must have” 🚩
You’ll learn why everything you want already exists…
and how following the right blueprint changes what feels possible for you
We also get real about confidence.
The difference between external confidence (looks, body, validation)
and real inner confidence that doesn’t disappear when no one texts back 📱🥶
You’ll hear why anxiety isn’t proof something is wrong.
It’s proof your brain THINKS something is wrong 🧠🚨
And how butterflies, nerves, and intensity are not the same as love ❤️🔥🚩
We talk about:
✣ Why doing the same thing over and over keeps you stuck
✣ Why closure doesn’t come from them, it comes from YOU
✣ How repetition literally rewires your brain and attachment style
✣ Why self-criticism trains your nervous system to feel unsafe
✣ How self-trust is built in seconds, not years
There’s a powerful reminder that one day…
you’ll miss the life you’re living right now 🌤🫂
Even the “boring” days.
Even the messy chapters.
We talk about gratitude without bypassing pain.
About how modern dating and technology have changed connection.
And why slowing down your nervous system matters more than getting answers 🔒🧘🏼♀️
This episode also dives into:
✣ Why postponing happiness keeps you anxious
✣ Why healing is about the DAILY habits, not the end goal
✣ Why forcing love never creates safety
✣ Why anxious attachment is NOT your personality
✣ How abandonment wounds make you chase reassurance instead of safety
And one of the biggest shifts:
If you’ve abandoned yourself long enough, others will too.
Over-giving isn’t love.
It’s fear wearing a cute outfit 🫂🚩
This episode is a mirror 🪞
Not to shame you.
But to remind you who you are beneath the anxiety 💎
Listen if you want to:
➞ stop chasing reassurance
➞ stop overthinking texts
➞ stop feeling “too much”
➞ and start building real emotional safety within yourself
Because healing doesn’t start with fixing your partner.
It starts with choosing yourself.
Again.
And again.
And again 🖤✨
🎧 After listening, tell me:
Which lesson hit you in the chest the most?
And which one are you ready to LIVE next?
Lots of love 🫶
I see you.
And I’ll see you in Part 02 ✨🎙
👇 RESOURCES 👇
💎 Courses
✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts
➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resources
Free Attachment Library
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
🖤 About me
I’m Jula, an attachment style coach.
I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨
💌 Work with me
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk
CHAPTER:
00:00 Celebrating 36 Years: A Journey of Lessons
01:15 lesson 01
03:36 lesson 02
04:18 lesson 03
05:18 lesson 04
06:17 lesson 05
07:19 lesson 06
07:47 lesson 07
08:12 lesson 08
08:55 lesson 09
09:58 lesson 10
11:29 lesson 11
13:59 lesson 12
16:12 lesson 13
17:06 lesson 14
17:34 lesson 15
18:05 lesson 16
19:38 lesson 17
20:52 lesson 18
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
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