Vicious.
Nasty.
Controlling.
Mean.
How do you feel when you read those words?
If you've been thinking about your estranged adult child(ren) in these terms, the language you're using may be affecting your ability to solve the problem of estrangement.
Compare "My child is being cruel" with "I miss feeling close and connected."
The first statement is stark. It invites a lack of trust, and a sense of powerlessness. If your child is simply cruel, where does that leave you?
The second eases the nervous system with words that feel better: "close" and "connected." Even if those feelings are currently missing, just the sound of them can soothe an aching soul.
Get inspired by this episode to manage your experience of estrangement, by managing your vocabulary.
You may not get to choose whether you’re estranged, but you do get to choose how you respond – including what you say when you talk to yourself and others.
Members can discuss this episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.
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Check out Tina’s book, Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child.