On Attachment

#207: Why You Feel Secure When You’re Single (But Anxious When You Start Dating)


Listen Later

If you’ve ever felt calm and confident when you’re single, only to find yourself spiralling into anxiety the moment you start dating, there’s a good reason for it.

In this episode, I share why this shift happens — and why it’s completely normal if you have an anxious attachment style. Attachment patterns are relational, which means they tend to lie dormant when we’re on our own. But as soon as we have something (or someone) at stake, we feel more vulnerable. The more we care, the more our protective strategies kick in — sometimes in big, overwhelming ways.

This episode is a reassuring reminder that there’s nothing “wrong” with you for feeling this way — it’s simply your nervous system doing its job in trying to keep you safe when things start to feel risky. 

Highlighted Links

  • Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
  • Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

  • Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
  • Join my email list 💌
  • Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
  • Visit my website
...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

On AttachmentBy Stephanie Rigg

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

1,037 ratings


More shows like On Attachment

View all
Relationship Advice by Thrive Therapy - Colter Bloxom, Lauren Mokarry, and Cayla Bozovich

Relationship Advice

1,673 Listeners

Love Life With Matthew Hussey by Matthew Hussey

Love Life With Matthew Hussey

2,662 Listeners

What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't: Relationship Advice and Respect by Rhoda Sommer LCSW, Rhoda Sommer on Relationships

What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't: Relationship Advice and Respect

291 Listeners

ManTalks Podcast by Connor Beaton

ManTalks Podcast

574 Listeners

The Mark Groves Podcast by Mark Groves

The Mark Groves Podcast

4,716 Listeners

Women of Impact by Impact Theory

Women of Impact

652 Listeners

Breakthrough with Thais Gibson Podcast by Thais Gibson

Breakthrough with Thais Gibson Podcast

304 Listeners

Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice by Dr. Morgan Anderson

Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

1,141 Listeners

Heal Your Heartbreak by Break Up Bestie

Heal Your Heartbreak

643 Listeners

Unf*ck Your Relationships by Michelle Panning

Unf*ck Your Relationships

232 Listeners

Jillian on Love by Jillian Turecki | Daylight Media

Jillian on Love

1,406 Listeners

The Sabrina Zohar Show by The Sabrina Zohar Show

The Sabrina Zohar Show

5,092 Listeners

Love Strategies: Dating and Love Advice for Successful Women by Adam LoDolce and Dr. Gary Lewandowski

Love Strategies: Dating and Love Advice for Successful Women

656 Listeners

Dating Intentionally by Talia Koren

Dating Intentionally

526 Listeners

The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno by Julie Menanno

The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

350 Listeners