In today's episode, I'm diving deep into one of the most important questions I get: when there's been a discovery of infidelity, when do we need therapy? What kind of therapy? What makes sense?

I'll be blunt with you - I think you always need therapy after infidelity. Here's why: it's so painful that emotions completely take over. Friends or family may not always be the right people to go to during these times because they have their own feelings. When you're in that stress mode, in that survival mode, you really can't see what's really going on underneath it all.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why we need to understand what's going on inside - that's where the real issues are
• The truth about people who cheat (spoiler: they're not bad people, but they are hurt people)
• Why someone might not know how to communicate their problems in a relationship
• What the betrayed partner really needs from therapy
• The kind of therapist you should look for (and the question most people never think to ask)
• Why therapy needs to work on both past wounds AND present skills
• What real success looks like in infidelity recovery

I share insights from my "Healing Infidelity From the Inside Out" approach and explain why it's not as simple as "people that cheat are bad people." They're people who have had a lack of resources in how to regulate their emotions or communicate well.

For example, if someone never saw their parents communicate about problems, how are they supposed to know how to say "I'm unhappy with the way our marriage is going, let's work on it"? Their healthy choices are limited.

I also talk about my own 41-year marriage and how even I have more options now for dealing with conflict than I did before I worked on my own wounds and core issues.

Key takeaways:

• A skilled therapist won't put simplistic ideas on complex problems
• You want someone who has worked on themselves and gone through some things
• The best therapy goes deeper and works with trauma (because it's almost always part of the problem)
• Success isn't just that the person doesn't cheat anymore - you want to become better than you were

Whether you're the betrayed partner needing support and empathy, or the person who betrayed needing to develop better options, this episode will help you understand what to look for in effective ther

If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who could benefit and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more couples who are ready to transform their lives.

Check out my complete program "From Bickering & Escalating to Connecting & Loving" for more in-depth guidance: https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/loving-connecting-masterclass

Todd Creager, LCSW, LMFT

Todd is a sex expert and therapist in Huntington Beach. He provides relationship coaching to couples throughout the world and in Orange County including Irvine, Newport Beach, Corona del Mar, Laguna Beach, Seal Beach and Long Beach. (714) 848-2288.

You can find more tips and resources from Todd Creager at: https://toddcreager.com

HELPFUL LINKS:

• Get your FREE copy of Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/heal-infidelity
• Secrets to a Sexy Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/sexy-marriage-secrets
• 7 Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/optin-DPYM
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