Have you ever felt like something's off in your relationship, but your partner keeps telling you you're the problem? That knot in your stomach, that nagging sense that things aren't right—what if it's not your imagination?

In this episode, Todd addresses gaslighting—a pattern where one partner makes the other doubt their own reality. Sometimes it's calculated, sometimes it's unconscious self-protection, but the result is the same: you stop trusting yourself. You walk through your own home like you're stepping through a minefield, wondering what will set things off next.

Todd has worked with countless men and women who lived this way for years. They'd cover for their partner, make excuses to family and friends, anything to keep the peace. And when they finally stepped away—or when the relationship healed through honest work—they'd say, "My God, it was never me. It felt like me when I was with them, but it never was."

Todd shares a story from his own practice: a man who walked into his first session hurling insults, trying to intimidate. His wife had been living in that storm for years, second-guessing herself constantly. Through their work together, Todd helped the wife reconnect with her own instincts while helping the husband face the pain underneath his behavior—childhood abuse from a critical father that he'd never addressed. Years later, Todd ran into the wife. She told him her husband had become "a teddy bear." The relationship survived because both partners did the hard work.

Here's what Todd wants you to know: If you feel invisible, if you're constantly told you're overreacting, if you've learned to shrink yourself to avoid conflict—that's not you being difficult. That's your gut telling you something real. The first step is finding someone you can trust, whether that's a friend, family member, or a therapist, to help you see clearly again.

Your gut isn't wrong. And you can get free from this, whether that means leaving or—in some cases—rebuilding the relationship on healthier ground.

If this resonates with you, share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. And if you're ready to reconnect with your own truth, reach out. Todd is here to help.

If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who could benefit and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more couples who are ready to transform their lives.

Check out my complete program "From Bickering & Escalating to Connecting & Loving" for more in-depth guidance: https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/loving-connecting-masterclass

Todd Creager, LCSW, LMFT

Todd is a sex expert and therapist in Huntington Beach. He provides relationship coaching to couples throughout the world and in Orange County including Irvine, Newport Beach, Corona del Mar, Laguna Beach, Seal Beach and Long Beach. (714) 848-2288.

You can find more tips and resources from Todd Creager at: https://toddcreager.com

HELPFUL LINKS:

• Get your FREE copy of Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/heal-infidelity
• Secrets to a Sexy Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/sexy-marriage-secrets
• 7 Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/optin-DPYM
...