Love Over Addiction

3 Benefits of Codependency


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I often talk about one of the ways this community is different - we believe you're not powerless over this disease.

And for those of you who know me and have been listening to the podcast or reading our blog for a while, you might be thinking "Yeah, Michelle I know. I've heard you say this so many times."

Here's another way our community is different:

We believe that codependency can be a very good thing.

Yes, it's true. Codependency practiced with the right people at the right time can be a huge gift.

Here are three benefits of codependency.

1. When everyone else has walked away, you stay to help.

Here's an example: let's pretend we're running a marathon. There is a moment in the race that some runners hit where their bodies just give out and they literally collapse. It's not an uncommon scene in the last five miles of a marathon.

But what is uncommon is the runner who stops her race and forgoes her own time to help the person next to her who is struggling. Most people train for an event like this for years, and their time matters. If they stop, they know they might not be able to continue.

So it's totally normal for someone to just keep moving and focus on what they're there for - getting the best possible time they can.

But I know several women who stop running their race when they see someone in pain. And who will even run back to get them some water. They will come alongside of the broken runner, put their arm around them, and make sure they get medical assistance.

These are the women that have been called "codependent" in meetings. These are selfless, courageous, and thoughtful women.

If that's called codependent, then they should wear that label proudly.

2. Codependency is a gift because it makes us good friends.

We show up. We listen when someone's hurting.

And when someone is sharing her pain or problems, we get busy trying to think of ways we can help.

We can be counted on. And we follow up with a text or phone call to check in and make sure that person is doing better. We arrive at doorsteps with a pot roast.

We defend and protect because we are loyal to those we have let into our little close circle.

3. Codependency is a gift is because we're willing to say sorry.

We are usually the first ones to admit that we may have messed up and made a mistake.

In a world full of defensiveness, we are refreshingly willing to take responsibility. We're usually the first one who admits we may have messed up and didn't get it right. Or to admit to our friends and family and even strangers that we don't have all the answers.

There are so many more amazing qualities that come from being "codependent" and this blog is one example.

I've been writing here for over four years and this little community of women like you are some of the most polite, loving, and caring women I've ever known.

You make writing and doing this podcast a joy. You warm my heart. I love our group of codependent women.

Kindness is not normal in most online communities, unfortunately. But we have great manners. And we are here for each other.

So I for one, I am proud to be codependent. That label is fine with me.

If you're ever looking for support on this journey, check out the three programs we offer. They are all work-at-your-own-pace and you'll have lifetime access, so you're able to take as long as you need. I know these changes take time. I'm here to support you and cheer you on.

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Love Over AddictionBy Michelle Anderson

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