Reconciling with your estranged adult child may be the brass ring, but once you attain it, you find that another phase of estrangement has just begun.

Reconciliation is a process, not an event. It can be a phase that lasts quite a long time. It's challenging. It's confusing.

That's why Tina created this episode. In it she shares a few simple truths about the marathon of reconciliation – things to keep in mind during the process.

If you're feeling uncomfortable around your child,

If your child seems to be testing you with her behavior,

These could simply be aspects of a natural process unfolding.

As always, Tina advises the judicious and continuing use of apologies to smooth the rough edges of interactions. But it's also possible to overdo it, and in this episode, she offers a word of caution about that.

If possible, she says, once you've educated yourself about the process, try to hold it loosely. You don't have to be perfect, just do your best.