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Not all affairs start for the same reason. Discover the motives that drive infidelity and how each shapes the road to healing.
Why do people have affairs? In this episode of The Recovery Room, Tim Tedder explores six common motives behind infidelity—the Alarm, Exit, Quest, Revenge, Impulse, and Habit affairs. Drawing on illustrations and real-life examples, Tim explains how each motive takes shape, how it can change over time, and why understanding the “why” matters for healing.
You’ll also learn what each motive reveals about the work that needs to be done for recovery and how to protect your relationship from future harm. Whether you’re the betrayed or the unfaithful partner, this conversation offers clarity, direction, and hope.
EPISODE NOTES
00:00 Introduction
02:30 Alarm Affair
04:25 Exit Affair
06:00 Quest Affair
08:00 Revenge Affair
09:15 Impulse Affai
10:30 Habit Affair
11:55 Questions to Ask Yourself
LINKS & EXTRAS
Download: 6 Motives Guide (PDF)
Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change.
Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.
By AffairHealing.com4.6
246246 ratings
Not all affairs start for the same reason. Discover the motives that drive infidelity and how each shapes the road to healing.
Why do people have affairs? In this episode of The Recovery Room, Tim Tedder explores six common motives behind infidelity—the Alarm, Exit, Quest, Revenge, Impulse, and Habit affairs. Drawing on illustrations and real-life examples, Tim explains how each motive takes shape, how it can change over time, and why understanding the “why” matters for healing.
You’ll also learn what each motive reveals about the work that needs to be done for recovery and how to protect your relationship from future harm. Whether you’re the betrayed or the unfaithful partner, this conversation offers clarity, direction, and hope.
EPISODE NOTES
00:00 Introduction
02:30 Alarm Affair
04:25 Exit Affair
06:00 Quest Affair
08:00 Revenge Affair
09:15 Impulse Affai
10:30 Habit Affair
11:55 Questions to Ask Yourself
LINKS & EXTRAS
Download: 6 Motives Guide (PDF)
Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change.
Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

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