August 26, 2025

76: 5 Stages How to Heal & Rewire After a BREAKUP (when you have an Anxious Attachment)

22 minutes

This episode is for you if you’re in the breakup loops and trying to heal and move through it.

You said you were DONE. You swore you wouldn’t reach out again.

But now you're spiraling. Checking their last seen. Reading old messages.

Feeling that sick ache in your chest like you need them back just to feel okay.

When you have anxious attachment, a breakup doesn’t feel like “losing a relationship.”

It feels like rejection, abandonment, like you're being erased.

And your brain goes straight into panic mode.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 stages of healing after a breakup for the anxious type

and WHY each one feels so overwhelming.

We’ll start with the protest phase.. where you might beg, bargain, chase, or act like “you’re fine” when you’re actually falling apart.

Then comes obsession + craving: where your nervous system feels addicted, and you can’t stop analyzing or fantasizing.

Next is the shame spiral: that voice in your head saying “It’s because I wasn’t enough.”

Then the grief + loneliness: that deep pain when the distractions wear off and the reality hits.

And finally: the rewiring phase where you stop chasing a person and start repairing your inner safety.

I’ll also show you where you might be getting stuck like looping in the fantasy, hoping they’ll come back and finally give you what they never did.

Or mistaking anxiety for intuition.

Or trying to “heal” while secretly waiting for a text.

This isn’t about pretending you're over it.

This is about understanding what’s happening in your body, in your attachment system, so you can stop abandoning yourself to stop the pain.

You don’t need to be perfect to heal.

You just need the right map

Let’s walk through it together... step by step.

Listen now & start breaking the cycle to rewire and heal from a breakup.

Or watch on youtube and leave me comments, I love to be there for you xx

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Breakup Healing and Anxious Attachment

02:45 Stage 1: Shock & Panic Mode = Denial

04:47 Stage 2 : Anger & Shame = the ANGER STAGE

08:27 Stage 3: Bargaining, Craving & Obsession = Bargaining

13:51 Stage 4: Loneliness & Identity Collapse = Depression

16:02 Relationship Coaching if you like support

16:40 Stage 5: Integration & Secure Rewiring = Acceptance

20:52 Final Reminders that heal it ALL

Want more support?

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(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

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(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

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COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)

➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Grab more FREE resources:

ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Like….

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ

Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety

✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

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By Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

3.5

22 ratings