August 28, 2025

77: (5 hidden) LIES driving your relationship anxiety (Part 02) Cognitive Distortions

12 minutes

Ever catch yourself thinking…

“Did I do something wrong?”

“They’re pulling away... what if they’re losing interest?”

“This relationship feels OFF, but I don’t know why.”

You’re not “too much.” You’re not dramatic.

You might just be stuck in cognitive distortions...sneaky thought patterns that fuel anxious attachment and make you feel unsafe in love

In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 most common cognitive distortions that mess with your brain and your heart when you’re dating or in a relationship.. especially if you feel hyper-aware, sensitive, or constantly looking for signs something’s wrong.

We’ll explore:

Personalization... Why you blame yourself when they get distant

Negative Filtering... Why your brain zooms in on the “bad parts” and ignores what’s going well

Control Fallacy.. That exhausting feeling of needing to fix everything

All-or-Nothing Thinking.. The belief that one mistake means the whole thing’s doomed

Fortune Telling.. Why you assume the worst is coming, before it even happens

These mental habits can make you feel like you’re always on edge… reading between the lines… overthinking texts… bracing for the moment they leave

But once you see these patterns...you can start challenging them

And when you shift your thoughts, your nervous system starts to settle

This is how you rewire anxious attachment from the inside out.

Which one of these distortions hits hardest for you?

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Cognitive Distortions in Your Relationship

01:16 01 Personalization

02:03 02 Negative Filtering

02:52 03 Control Fallacy

03:58 P.S. Have you tried therapy but still feeling anxious?

05:16 Coaching vs Therapy

09:23 04 All-or-Nothing Thinking

10:26 05 Fortune Telling

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➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)

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Like….

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ

Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety

✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

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By Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

3.5

22 ratings