Love Over Addiction

A Boundaries Victory From One of Our Sisters


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Here's a post that came from our Secret Facebook Group that is full of THE most loving and encouraging friends. There are over 800 women waiting to lift you up and cheer you on.

I think you'll find one of our sister's personal story a tremendous encouragement.

Recently, I had a falling out with both my mother (who abandoned me twice and is a narcissist and a dry drunk) and my sister in law (meddling, critical, and a highly suspicious dry drunk).

Clearing my expectations, hopes, and wishes regarding others is a radical experience. It seems that by telling others how I feel with honesty and authenticity and practicing honoring my boundaries has the effect of allowing them to respond in the same incomprehensibly mean, judgemental, defensive way as ever before.

My alcoholic husband is not the root of my trouble. But I can weather the storms of my life so much better with him as a partner, not an anchor, in the storm.

Today, he is so much more a partner than an anchor.

Yes, it's work to set a boundary, to announce it, and to enforce it, but it is so much lighter a load than keeping my feelings bottled up, keeping secrets, and carrying around hurts, hopes, and expectations.

Before this course, I did not know what boundaries were.

Without them, I had no defenses to keep me safe. I relied on others (most of whom are ill-equipped or hurt me regularly) to keep watch.

Now, thanks to Michelle Lisa Anderson, I can say, "I will speak up with kindness and dignity to share how other people's behavior makes me feel."

My reason?

Keeping silent about anger or hurt is as much of a lie as hiding love or gratitude. "I release what does not serve me," and it doesn't serve me to be a silent doormat.

Love Over Addiction has helped me love myself more than I am afraid of my husband's addiction. It has helped me love myself more than I fear my mother's rejection. It has helped me love my son enough to teach him to stand up for himself.

I'm proud of myself for doing the work. I'm proud of so many of my sisters in this group, too. Most of all, I love this program and MLA for making it for us.

Isn't this amazing? Can you hear the hope and strength in her writing? She did the work and she started out just like you.

It's the holidays, and it's time to give yourself the gift of recovery and hope just like my friend in the Secret Facebook Group.

If you're feeling lonely, we are here for you. You don't have to be alone. We will help you and encourage you with real practical answers. I hope you join us in one of the programs.

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Love Over AddictionBy Michelle Anderson

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