ADHD Untangled

Mother, Listen to This | Angela Heap

Do you ever wonder how much your ADHD has shaped your fertility story?

Maybe you're single, late thirties, and everyone else seems to have made a decision you're still circling. Maybe you froze your eggs and still don't know if it was the right call. Or maybe you've quietly decided you can't look after a baby when you can barely look after yourself.

Because that's the fertility blind spot. ADHD shapes how we plan, who we choose and how long we take to decide. And the clock doesn't wait for a diagnosis.

This week's guest is Angela Heap, a fertility nutritionist who has spent 18 years helping women get pregnant and stay pregnant. She was diagnosed with ADHD late, took three goes to get her A levels, failed her first year at university and spent 15 years on and off in a relationship she says took a lot of her fertile years with it. She isn't a mother herself. By the time egg freezing was an option, she was 40.

I know this one from the inside. At 30, a blood test told me I had the fertility of almost a 40 year old. I froze my eggs three times, not knowing what I was walking into or that I had ADHD. Nearly eight years on, I still haven't used them.

As Angela puts it: that egg count isn't a reflection of your overall fertility. It's a reflection of your overall health.

So let's untangle all things ADHD and fertility:

🧡 The blind spot: why nobody talks to single, late diagnosed women about fertility, why we're more likely to have unplanned pregnancies, and the shame that follows

🔸 Your fertile years: when does fertility really drop, and how much is genes versus lifestyle? (Angela has seen clients do better with IVF at 42 than at 39)

🔥 Egg counting: what the AMH test actually measures, who brought it in, and why a low number isn't the end of the story

💰 Egg freezing: what the injections do to your body, what happens when the eggs are thawed, and what it really costs

🧠 ADHD in the clinic: why a crusty old protocol sheet isn't enough for our brains, why synthetic hormones can hit us harder, and what to do (and not do) in the three months before you start

💬 Myths round: does fertility fall off a cliff at 35? Can perimenopause start in your thirties? Plus the one test to ask your GP for

Why listen?

There's a lot of conversation about ADHD and motherhood. There's almost none about the years before it.

The time blindness, the wrong relationships, the decisions we didn't know we were making. And the women now blaming themselves for all of it.

Whether you're single and wondering if you've left it too late, deciding whether to freeze your eggs, already trying and struggling, or a late diagnosed woman finally connecting the dots, this episode is for you.

Angela's message to the ADHD woman who feels like she's run out of time? Do the tests. See where you are now. Based on a statistic, you are not a statistic.

Because you deserve all the information before you make these choices, not after. Nobody has been having this conversation. Let's hope they do now.

Find Angela: @fertilitynutritionist

Become an ADHD coach with us

 https://untangledco.com/academy

Free webinar:

Untangling ADHD in the Workplace, Tuesday 3 November, 12pm UK / 1pm Amsterdam

https://adhd-untangled-workplace-webinar.lovable.app

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Rosie on LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/rosie-turner-3b8093aa/

Do you have a dream you keep talking yourself out of?

Maybe you've been told it's not realistic. Maybe one bad piece of feedback shut you down for years. Maybe you had one brilliant idea and quietly decided it was the only one you'd ever get.

Because that's what fear of failure does. It doesn't stop you dreaming. It stops you starting.

This week's guest is Rosalie Boonstra, a Dutch couture designer and artist who makes the big, bold, fabulous gowns you see on red carpets and stages. One of her dresses landed on the cover of Vogue NL (on her 25th birthday, no less). She's won an award, she's won a TV show, and she's worked with brands, museums and filmmakers.

She was also bullied at school, doubted by her friends, knocked down at art school and diagnosed with ADHD in her late twenties.

And when that Vogue cover happened? Her first thought wasn't celebration. It was "why am I here?"

As Rosalie puts it: it sometimes takes a lot of time and the right people to find out you're not a failure.

So let's untangle ADHD and bringing your dreams to life:

🧡 Fear of failure: how do you keep creating when you've spent years being told you're not good enough?

🎨 Creating for you: what happens when you stop making what people liked last time and start making what you actually want to make?

🔸 Finding your people: where do you look when nobody around you gets it? (Rosalie found hers on Instagram) 💬 Feedback: why one negative comment can block an ADHD brain completely, and how it should be given instead

🧠 RSD: the three questions that tell you if you've got it, and the one thing Rosalie does now to get out of the spiral quicker

💰 ADHD in business: holding your price, describing your value, collaboration over competition, and the two things she'd tell any ADHD founder

Why listen?

We're the ones with all the ideas. That's the bit everyone loves to say about ADHD.

What nobody says is how many of those ideas never leave our heads. Because someone once told us we weren't good enough, and we believed them.

Whether you're a creative scared to switch careers, a late diagnosed woman who's been called too much, a founder who wants to shut the whole thing down every week, or an ADHDer with a dream you've been quietly sitting on, this episode is for you.

Rosalie's advice for the founder about to give up? Look for the real problem. Then ask for help.

Because the world doesn't need another beige copy of everyone else. It needs the bold, weird, too much version of you.

Follow Rosalie on Instagram: @rosalieboonstra

Follow us on instagram: @Adhd_untangled

Become an ADHD coach with us! 1-1 ADHD Coaching find your perfect match ADHD Group Coaching Linkedin: @rosie-turner

Do you ever wonder how your ADHD impacts your sex life?You are not alone. ADHD doesn't magically switch off when the clothes come off.

Maybe you get bored. Maybe your mind wanders. Maybe you're masking so much that even during intimacy, you're still performing instead of actually being present. Or maybe porn, dopamine and self-pleasure play a much bigger role in your life than you've ever stopped to think about.

Because ADHD doesn't magically switch off when the clothes come off.

When we get an ADHD diagnosis, it becomes the vehicle we use to unmask in every area of our lives. But what never gets spoken about is how the hell we do that when it comes to the bedroom.

As this week's guest, sex, love and relationship coach Liz Hunter, puts it: you can mask in life, you can put on a performance in life, but in the bedroom, all of it gets exposed.

So let's find out, shall we? Let's untangle all things ADHD & sex (without going red):

🔥 Porn: what role does dopamine play, and when does porn become more than just entertainment?

🎭 Masking in the bedroom: are you actually being yourself during sex, or are you still trying to perform, please and meet someone else's expectations?

🥱 Bored in the bedroom: what happens when novelty wears off? Can an ADHD brain struggle with routine, even when it comes to sex and intimacy?

🧠 The ADHD brain and desire: why distraction, stimulation and the constant search for dopamine can all show up in the bedroom

❤️ Self-pleasure: what can exploring your own body teach you about what you actually want, need and enjoy?

💬 Communication and shame: how do you start talking about sex when you've spent years feeling like there's something wrong with the way you experience it?

Why listen?

Sex is supposed to be one of those things we're all comfortable talking about.

Except… we're not.

Add ADHD into the mix and suddenly there can be boredom, distraction, masking, shame, dopamine-seeking and a whole lot of questions that nobody seems to be asking out loud.

So we're asking them.

Whether you're single, dating, in a long-term relationship, questioning your relationship with porn, struggling to stay present during intimacy or simply curious about how ADHD might be showing up in your sex life, then this episode is for you.

No judgement. No shame. Just an honest conversation about sex, ADHD, pleasure and everything that comes with it.

Because understanding your ADHD shouldn't stop at work, relationships and organisation.

Sometimes, it needs to follow you all the way into the bedroom.

Find Liz: @elizabeth.hunter.coaching

Become an ADHD  coach with us! 

https://untangledco.com/academy

1-1 ADHD Coaching find your perfect match

https://untangledco.com/coachingservice

ADHD Group Coaching

https://untangledco.com/groupcoaching

Follow us on instagram: @Adhd_untangled 

Follow us on LinkedIn: @RosieTurner

Do you think you're too chaotic to meditate? Attempted it and failed, time and time again

I hear you. I thought exactly the same the first time I sat down to meditate.

Then I ran off to India with two weeks notice, and this week's guest, Rohil Jethmalani, met me there. He was the first person who showed me the real benefits of meditation, yoga, morning routines, even vegetarian food… and for maybe the first time in my life, a genuine sense of peace.

He's a yoga teacher, an Ayurvedic thinker, and honestly one of the most quietly enlightened humans I've ever sat with.

Since then I've had my ADHD diagnosis. And seeing as I was in Bali, where he now lives, I wanted to know… what does a man rooted in a 5,000 year old yogic tradition actually think when he hears the word ADHD?

That's exactly where we open Season 7.

So what are we waiting for? Let's untangle all things ADHD & spirituality:

🌪 Is ADHD just a Vata imbalance? The scattered energy, the racing mind, the inability to land anywhere for long… Ayurveda named it thousands of years ago

💊 Medication, his belief that modern medicine is failing us, and a big question from our community: is the wellness world too proud to admit we're still struggling when the practice isn't enough?

🏷 Labels, identity and non attachment (Aparigraha)… I love my ADHD label, so does letting go of attachment mean letting go of that too?

🧘 Can't meditate, won't meditate: what to do when stillness sounds like complete hell to your ADHD brain

🔥 Ego death: what it actually is, whether an ordinary person in a messy flat can reach it, and why the ADHD brain might be closer to it than most people realise.

Why listen?

If you've ever thought yoga or a spiritual path just isn't for you… you're not flexible enough, not calm enough, too chaotic, too in your head… but something keeps quietly pulling you towards it, this one is for you. And if you're stuck in a shame spiral right now, telling yourself the same old negative story, Rohil shares the most powerful thing you can do to break it.

You don't need to become a monk. You don't need 30 years in an ashram. You just need a way in that works with your brain… and this conversation might be it.

Find Rohil:@shivatman.yoga

Become an ADHD  coach with us! 

⁠https://untangledco.com/academy⁠

1-1 ADHD Coaching find your perfect match

⁠https://untangledco.com/coachingservice⁠

ADHD Group Coaching

⁠https://untangledco.com/groupcoaching⁠

Follow us on instagram: ⁠@Adhd_untangled  ⁠

Follow us on LinkedIn: ⁠@RosieTurner⁠

How many times have you thought about closing down your business this month? This week? Today?Every single hand went up when I asked four female ADHD founders that question. Because here's what nobody posts on Instagram: running a business with ADHD is the quickest way to figure out how your ADHD shows up as both a struggle AND a strength.In this raw, honest, and hilarious live panel, I sat down with Jess (Sacred and Wild), Cat (Yogi Bare), Katie France (Love Bomb Bags), and Natt (Waking Dreams) to talk about the reality of being a female founder with ADHD.We talk about people-pleasing that nearly cost Cat her entire business, Katie's struggle with posting out the right bags to the right people (executive function is REAL), why having two ADHD brains in business together means you might "accidentally commit fraud," and how Jess's perfectionism has kept years of work hidden from the world.But we also talk about why none of us go back. Why the 9-5 isn't an option for brains wired like ours. Why freedom matters more than money. And why, despite everything, we keep showing up.Natt drops the mic with: "Your ADHD would not even be a talking point without capitalism."And Jess reminds us all: "I see the work people put out into the world and I just think, bloody well done. I don't judge it. I just really respect people trying and just being out there doing it."This one's for every woman who's ever felt like giving up but keeps showing up anyway.IN THIS EPISODE:✨ Why we all threaten to quit (regularly)✨ How people-pleasing can cost you everything✨ Executive function struggles are not stupidity✨ The reality of working with other ADHDers✨ How perfectionism keeps you stuck✨ Why we can't go back to corporate burnout✨ The real reason we keep going (it's not money)✨ Why capitalism makes ADHD "problematic"✨ Taking a day off is productive, actually✨ Giving yourself the same grace you give other womenFour incredible women. Four thriving businesses. Four ADHD brains refusing to dim down.Generator. Alive. Colourful. Chaotic.Not broken. Not struggling. Not failing.Bloody well done for just doing it.

For decades, women with ADHD have been told they're "just anxious," "just depressed," or "just stressed." Meanwhile, their physical symptoms - heavy periods, migraines, gut issues, dizziness when standing - have been dismissed as separate problems.

They're not. They're all connected.

Dr. Asad Raffi has assessed thousands of ADHD women and discovered something revolutionary: ADHD is a brain-body condition. The female presentation doesn't even resemble what's in the diagnostic manuals. So how is a clinician using a checklist going to diagnose any woman? They can't. And they haven't.

In this raw and honest conversation, Dr. Asad explains why 50%+ of women sitting in GP waiting rooms could actually have undiagnosed ADHD, why the medical system has failed women for so long, and what actually needs to change.

We explore the micro-fractures of accumulated trauma, why ADHD can look like complex PTSD, the "whole heap of shit" happening beneath the surface that single-lens diagnosis misses, and the critical importance of understanding hormones, inflammation, and the brain-body connection.

And in the most moving moment of the interview, when asked what he said to his teenage daughter when she got diagnosed with ADHD, his answer was simple:

"Welcome to the club."

This conversation will change how you see ADHD, your body, and yourself.

IN THIS EPISODE:

✨ Why physical symptoms are the primary indicator of ADHD in women

✨ The connection between hormones, inflammation, and brain health

✨ Why women have been chronically misdiagnosed for decades

✨ ADHD vs complex PTSD - understanding micro-fractures and accumulated trauma

✨ Why looking at ADHD from a singular lens will always get it wrong

✨ The importance of community, connection, and reaching out

✨ What he told his daughter when she was diagnosed

Dr. Asad Raffi is a leading consultant psychiatrist, founder of Sanctum Healthcare, and father of three girls. His mission was born from his daughter's ADHD diagnosis - and he's determined that no woman is left misunderstood.

You know those thoughts that pop into your head? "What if I just opened this car door on the motorway?" Or "If I don't touch that lamppost in 10 seconds, someone I love will die."

Adam Lind lived with intrusive thoughts so severe, he'd wake up every morning thinking "what's the point?" — until he discovered he wasn't his mind. And he proved it by hitchhiking across 26 countries with £5,000 and a backpack.

This conversation goes deep: from OCD and health anxiety, to why external freedom (living on a narrowboat, travelling the world) means nothing if you're still trapped inside your head. Adam shares how he went from existential spiraling to creating a life of genuine human connection — and why your intrusive thoughts might actually be trying to protect you.

If you've ever felt like your mind is holding you hostage, or you're chasing freedom in all the wrong places, this episode will completely shift your perspective.

Join the free Untangled Community → https://chat.whatsapp.com/IDapTLhfuvy8KzYfZ8rhYP

Become an ADHD Coach → https://drmiguel-rosie.untangledco.com/adhd

Retreats → https://untangledco.com/retreats

Follow Adam → https://www.instagram.com/adam.floatinghome/

Follow us → https://www.instagram.com/adhd_untangled/

Alt version if you want shorter/punchier:

INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS: The Man Who Proved You're Not Your Mind

"What if I opened this car door right now?" "If I don't touch that lamppost, my mom will die."

Adam Lind's intrusive thoughts were so severe, he couldn't function. Until he hitchhiked across 26 countries and discovered something therapy couldn't teach him: You are not your mind.

This is the conversation about what happens when you chase external freedom (narrowboat life, traveling the world) but you're still trapped inside your head — and how to finally break free.

In this live episode, psychologist Michaela Thomas reveals why ADHD makes love so complicated — from being mistaken for flirting when you're just being yourself, to freezing up when you actually like someone, to hearing "you're too much" or "not enough" on repeat.

We dive into the partner's side too: what to do when you feel like you've become their parent, why ADHD gets mistaken for narcissism, and the one question every couple should ask before calling it quits.

If you've ever been called dramatic, selfish, or "too intense" in relationships — or wondered why love feels harder for you than everyone else — this one's for you.

Topics covered:

00:00 Welcome & intro: ADHD and romantic relationships

03:30 "Am I flirting or just being myself?" — ADHD communication in dating

07:15 Why you freeze up when you actually like someone

11:40 ADHD vs narcissism: what's really going on?

16:00 "I feel like their parent" — the partner's perspective

20:10 Couples therapy: why you're going way too late

24:30 Time anxiety vs time optimism (and other neuro type clashes)

29:00 Intention vs impact: when your heart's in the right place but damage still happens

33:30 "You're too hard to love" — unpacking self-worth in relationships

38:00 What every partner of an ADHD person should know

Join the free Untangled Community → https://chat.whatsapp.com/IDapTLhfuvy8KzYfZ8rhYPBecome an ADHD Coach → https://drmiguel-rosie.untangledco.com/adhdRetreats → https://untangledco.com/retreatsFollow us → https://www.instagram.com/adhd_untangled/

I’m yet to meet an ADHDer who isn’t deeply affected by meaningless work. 

When there’s no meaning, it can feel like trying to run on empty you’re pushing, pushing, pushing… and then wondering why you’re burnt out and blaming yourself for it.

This week I am back with everyone’s favourite neuroscientist and mental health expert, Dr Miguel, to untangle ADHD in the workplace, purpose, meaning, job hopping, and why quitting is not a character flaw. 

Together we untangle:

🧠 Why 9-5 can feel genuinely soul destroying for an ADHD brain, from masking to boredom to open-plan overload

⏰ ADHD time, “BBC clock” culture, and why being ten seconds late can trigger a full body stress response

🌙 Chronotypes, delayed melatonin, and why so many ADHDers get a second wind later in the day

🔥 Hyperfocus productivity, burnout, and the truth about “inconsistency” when you are actually running on nervous system fumes

🧩 ADHD and autism together, how they can clash, how they can support each other, and what it can look like to build a work life with more space

Why listen?

If work has left you carrying that deep, sticky shame… this one’s for you.

Maybe your CV looks like job hop after job hop, and you’ve been labelled a “jack of all trades” because you can’t seem to settle.

Maybe you’ve started things, stopped things, restarted… and blamed yourself every time.

Or you’re constantly caught up in workplace drama, politics, misunderstandings… and it always somehow ends with you feeling like the problem.

Over time it’s so easy to start believing the story:

I’m lazy. I’m inconsistent. I’m too much. I’m not built for adulthood.

But this episode is here to pull that story apart.

To de-shame the patterns.

And to help you see what’s actually going on when an ADHD brain is trying to survive inside systems that don’t fit.

Because you’re not broken.

You just need a way of working that works with your brain… and feels meaningful to you.

Want to dive deeper?

🧡 Join the free Untangled Community → click here

🎓 ADHD Coach Training → click here

🧘 Retreats → click here

✨ Follow us → @adhd_untangled

 🧠 Follow Dr Miguel → @drmiguelmateas

You know that electricity at the start of something new…

When you cannot stop thinking about them, texting them, replaying every message in your head, planning weekends away in your mind, and refreshing WhatsApp every three seconds?!

Is that love, or just your ADHD brain chasing dopamine on loud?

This week I am back with everyone’s favourite go-go dancing neuroscientist and mental health expert, Dr Miguel, to untangle ADHD, hyperfocus, love bombing, gut health and long-term love. 

Dr Miguel brings the science and eighteen years of lived experience in a relationship with a neurodivergent nervous system, and I bring the tangled ADHD heart.

Together we untangle:

🧠 What hyperfocus actually is in the brain, how it feels in the body, and how to tell the difference between genuine connection and a dopamine high that will burn out fast.

💌 Why ADHDers often come on strong, what really sits behind it, and how intent, safety and reciprocity separate enthusiasm from love bombing.

💔 Why a small comment about a door left open can feel like a punch in the stomach, why divorce rates are higher in ADHD, and how shame and old stories pour petrol on small disagreements.

🍽 Food, gut health and RSD - how your gut bacteria, blood sugar and nervous system can make the difference between taking feedback in your stride or spiralling for hours.

💸 ADHD tax and looking selfish when you are not - and what has helped Miguel and his husband create more safety around money.

Why listen? 

Because ADHD does not mean you are doomed in love. It means your nervous system needs different tools. 

This episode will help you understand what is biology, what is trauma, what is attachment, and what is actually your values. This is perfect if you are…

🧡 An ADHDer who feels “too much”, “too intense” or “too chaotic” in love

🙄 In a relationship with someone who has ADHD and you are tired of feeling like the responsible one

😞 Someone who keeps burning it all down when things get hard and wondering if you are the problem

I want this episode to feel like a deep breath for your nervous system. 

You are not bad at love. 

You just have a brain and body that need a different rulebook, and there is real hope for connection that feels safe, grounded and still full of fire.

Let’s get untangled and show the world what we are made of. 

💡 Want to dive deeper?

🧡 Join the free Untangled Community → click here

🎓 Rosie & Dr Miguel's ADHD Coach Training → click here

🧘 Retreats → click here

✨ Follow us → @adhd_untangled

🧠 Follow Dr Miguel → @drmiguelmateas

📚 Book on Attachment Styles → “Attached”

🌿 Essential oils & scents for calming the nervous system and the amygdala → vetiver, neroli (orange blossom), chamomile and earthy, grounding smells like soil and grass.

Lots of love and strength,

Rosie 🧡🖤