On The Mend

This week’s guest is the musician, actor, writer, and podcaster Jordan Stephens.

Jordan’s probably best known for Rizzle Kicks, the chart-topping duo he formed with his friend Harley Alexander-Sule, back in 2008.

He's since released music as a solo artist, starred in various TV and film projects, published a children’s book, and now he’s written a memoir: Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs.

In this conversation the pair discuss education, the impact of overnight success, ADHD, medication and self-medication, as well as their shared interest in psychedelics and Jordan’s journey towards healthier relationships.

For more information on some of the subjects Jordan mentioned, there are links below (including more on Professor Nutt and that toad venom).

And Jordan WILL return to On The Mend. These two just have too much in common.

Related links:

Jordan’s website

Rizzle Kicks on Instagram

Matt’s interview with Jordan on MTV Faces

BRIT School bursaries

Alan Watts on education

Dr Gabor Maté

The Anxious Generation by Joanthan Haidt

Johann Hari’s episode of On The Mend

Professor David Nutt and drug classification

A 2002 overview of the link between football hooliganism and ecstasy

The effects of the inhalation of dried toad secretion containing 5-MeO-DMT

The ongoing study at King’s College, London

The Esther Perel quote was incorrectly attributed but she’s a fan of the person who said it, Terry Real: “Under patriarchy, you can be connected, or you can be powerful, but you can't be both at the same time because power is power over, not power with, it’s dominance. So, if you move into power, you lose connection. If you move into accommodation, you lose your power. I want to break that binary.”

Donna Lancaster & The Bridge Retreat

(01:02) Jordan’s childhood

(05:28) BRIT School and creative education

(11:48) Rizzle Kicks, Busted and dealing with overnight success

(16:36) ADHD: from voice notes to diagnoses (plural)

(20:34) ADHD: medication and self-medication 

(27:40) Pattern recognition and relationships

(29:07) Sobriety and overcoming writer’s block

(30:54) Managing social media use

(35:52) Psychedelics (including dried toad secretion)

(45:43) Pressure to achieve vs connection

(47:02) Educating the next generation about relationships

(54:15) Matt’s conclusion

Matt is back with another social media special episode! Since so many of you resonated with Part 1 (episode: My Honest Thoughts On Social Media) we're bringing you a Part 2, where Matt is diving deeper into his relationship with his mobile phone.

This week’s guest is the entrepreneur and mental health advocate Dan Murray-Serter.

Dan has ten years’ experience of building up businesses but, also, of winding them down. He’s spoken publicly about his failures, as well as his personal experience with anxiety, insomnia, depression, burnout, body dysmorphia and bulimia. And the steps Dan took towards improving his own mental and physical health, led him to a new business in nutrition and supplements.

Dan and Matt get quite deep in this conversation, which covers spirituality, mental health, ayahuasca. and much more.

Related links:

Heights Supplements

The Dao De Jing

The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle

The Body Keeps The Score

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Height

(01:28) The benefits and joy to be found in a regular walk

(04:43) A few of Dan’s favourite non-fiction books

(06:10) Finding fulfillment and embracing spirituality 

(11:18) Dan on his upbringing and what he learned from his father

(18:44) Living in the present and getting the balance right as an entrepreneur

(20:26) Dan’s own mental health history (including insomnia) 

(24:02) Dan’s life-changing visit to a dietician

(33:51) Dan’s experience with bulimia 

(42:38) Assisted psychedelic therapy and ayahuasca 

(56: 02) Finding your purpose (with a small p)

(01:02:28) Managing comparison and social media

(01:07:09) Matt’s outro

The secret is out… Matt Willis and his wife, Emma, are currently on a 3-week long social media break. They’re doing this alongside a group of year 8 students, whose experiment will be the star of an upcoming Channel 4 documentary.
But what does Matt really think of all of this? 
Before the experiment, we caught up with Matt to ask his honest opinion on social media. Is it a good thing? Bad thing? What’s Matt’s personal experience with it? And how can we start to nurture a healthier relationship with social media?
Let’s see how Matt’s opinions change over the course of the experiment. Stay tuned as we find out more in 3 weeks!
We hope you enjoy the episode, and if you’d like to share your own thoughts on social, please leave a comment or review!
Useful links:
Chanel 4 documentary: Swiped: The School that Banned Smartphones
Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

(0:00) Intro
(0:44) Daily gratitude
(5:14) Matt’s weird relationship with social media
(7:03) Do I need to know what’s trending?
(8:58) Insecurities and social media
(9:42) Social media is not real life
(11:59) Engaging with followers
(12:45) Social currency 
(14:21) Life is precious, so how are you using your time?
(16:17) Kids don’t want social media
(18:15) This is a real addiction we’re not taking seriously 
(19:05) So what can we do about it?
(20:48) Outro

Gabby was the first female football anchor on terrestrial television and she’s perfected the art of asking great questions, while covering a wide range of international sporting events. 

In this episode, Matt turns the tables on Gabby, and she speaks with great honesty, sharing moments and insights from her life and career.

Sporty and very driven from an early age, Gabby competed at the Commonwealth Games when she was still a teenager. But when her gymnastics career came to an abrupt end, she had to find a new direction. And this big change was followed by the shocking loss of her brother Daniel, when he was just 15 years old.

Gabby talks about the impact of grief on her family and how she found the support to deal with her own. She shares how she found confidence as a broadcaster and learned to accept the competitiveness that was forged in a sporting environment.

Gabby also reflects on the challenges and the joy she’s experienced raising her own family; and the wisdom and life-changing lessons she’s gained through her own podcast, The Mid.Point.

(01:40) Gabby’s sporty childhood

(04:01) Owning competitiveness

(07:24) British self-deprecation vs. the mentality in the US

(09:06) Honesty vs. brutal honesty

(10:28) Gabby’s love of order and finding compromise as a family

(12:33) Gabby’s gymnastics career (and finding a new direction when it was gone)

(15:27) The death of Gabby’s brother, Daniel, when he was just 15

(18.28) The impact on Gabby’s family (and varied ways of dealing with grief)

(21:30) The negative consequences of avoiding grief

(26:35) Her father’s self-destructive behaviour and the challenge of providing support

(38:26) Gabby’s mentor Ed Percival, NLP, and finding confidence at work

(44:06) Meeting her husband Kenny

(45:16) Wim Hoff and trying cold water therapy on Freeze The Fear

(48:03) Gabby’s podcast, The Mid.Point

(53:14) The importance of exercise and being truly present at family time

(55:34) Writing The Midpoint Plan

(56:44) Matt’s outro

Related links:

The Mid.Point: The Prostate Episode, with Kenny Logan

NHS guidance on prostate cancer

Gabby’s new book: The Midpoint Plan

Gabby’s memoir: The First Half

Gabby takes the plunge on BBC One’s Freeze The Fear

The Sports Agents podcast

This week Matt is sharing the top 3 books that have shaped his life and his journey as a recovered addict. He’ll be breaking down exactly why they mean so much to him – and why you should consider checking them out too!
Matt has sprinkled some bonus honourable mentions, plus some feedback from all of you lovely listeners! We recently asked Matt’s Instagram followers to recommend their life-changing reads, and boy did you guys deliver. We’ll be sharing some of the most popular mentions in this episode.
So pop on your reading hat, prepare for a trip to your local bookstore, and get ready to soak up these must-reads!
Did we miss your favourite book? Leave a comment and let us know!

Related links:
How To Be Your Own Therapist by Owen O’KaneAlcoholics AnonymousThe Chimp Paradox by Professor Steve PetersThe War Of Art by Stephen PressfieldChasing The Scream by Johann Hari

0:00) Intro

(0:11) Gratitude list

(0:39) Spending time in Ibiza

(1:03) Struggling with sleep

(1:38) Matt on getting to work with his wife Emma

(2:09) Gratitude for the On The Mend team

(3:15) Struggling to read

(4:42) How To Be Your Own Therapist by Owen O’Kane

(5:16) Alcoholics Anonymous

(11:23) The Chimp Paradox by Professor Steve Peters

(13:33) The War Of Art by Stephen Pressfield

(16:35) Dr Gabor Mate

(17:13) Johann Hari

(18:26) What books do the On The Mend listeners recommend?

(21:40) What to do if you don’t like reading

(22:28) Outro

This week’s guest is Johann Hari, whose books and TED Talks on depression, anxiety, and addiction have reached millions of people.

His 2015 talk Everything You Think You Know About Addiction Is Wrong had a huge impact on Matt, changing how he thought about his own recovery.

Matt then devoured Johann’s first book Chasing The Scream which looked at the war on drugs, through the story of Billie Holiday. While writing this book, Johann travelled the world to find out how different countries and cultures are dealing with addiction. Because, when it comes to treatment, prevention and enforcement, some countries have got it nailed... and some really haven't. In fact, many countries (including the UK) have got a lot to learn when it comes to our attitudes towards drugs and addiction.

This conversation dives into Billie Holiday’s story and the legacy of Harry J Anslinger’s war on drugs; the importance of connection and compassion in addiction recovery; and what we can learn from innovations in countries like Portugal and Switzerland, and, at the community level, in Vancouver.

(01:10) Johann’s funeral song (a surprising choice, but perhaps not for Busted fans)

(02:44) The impact of Johann’s Ted Talk on Matt

(04:45) Johann’s motivation for researching addiction

(08:43) The Rat Park experiment and the importance of connection

(13:26) The U.S. vs. Billie Holiday and what this story teaches us about the war on drugs

(27:36) Addiction treatment in the prison system

(32:32) Shame and stigma in addiction (and the importance of looking at multiple factors)

(43:40) The impact of junk values in contemporary society

(51:00) Looking for, and fixating on, negative feedback

(53:36) The different approach to addiction in Portugal 

(59:07) Andrew Sullivan, gay marriage, and important cultural change

(01:01:59) Decriminalisation vs. legalisation and the Swiss approach to addiction

(01:06:22) The power of ordinary people in cultural change

(01:07:54) What we can learn from Vancouver (Bud Osborn and Philip Owen)

(01:14:24) Concluding thoughts from Johann and Matt

Related links:

Johann’s books

The film adaptation of Chasing The Scream: The United States vs, Billie Holiday

Billie Holiday’s Strange Fruit

Bruce K Alexander’s Rat Park experiment

Joe Arpaio’s Tent City

Dr Vincent J Felitti

Dr Gabor Maté 

Professor Tim Kasser’s The High Price of Materialism and his experiment with Nathan Duncan

Portugal’s Dr João Goulão

Virtually Normal by Andrew Sullivan

Former President of Switzerland Ruth Dreifuss

The Vancouver Area Network of Drug Users: VANDU

Former Vancouver Mayor Philip Owen

NHS: Getting Help for Drug Addiction

This week, Matt is opening up about a topic that makes many of us uncomfortable… love!
Matt and his wife, broadcaster Emma Willis, have been going strong for 20 years. They’ve been through high, lows and all sorts of addiction-related battles. If anything, they’ve come out of the other side stronger. 
Since Matt and Emma began hosting the UK Series of Love Is Blind, the pair have been asked the same question by countless people: what’s the secret to their happy marriage?
If you want the honest, raw answer, then listen up. Matt has thought long and hard about this, and today he’s sharing his secret to a long-lasting, successful relationship. He’s also stepping out of his comfort zone to shed truth on the long, often tricky, journey he’s been on to learn to love himself.
Love Is Blind UK is out now on Netflix.
If you’ve been watching already, let Matt know if you’re enjoying!
(0:00) Intro
(0:16) Daily gratitude 
(3:16) Using Journal app to document growth
(4:03) Struggling with daily affirmations
(5:00) Talking about love
(5:43) Matt never believed in love as a kid
(6:53) What’s the secret to Matt and Emma’s relationship?
(7:54) What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger
(8:29) The people you love will change
(9:55) Relationships are not 50:50 
(11:13) You can’t love while you’re dealing with addiction 
(12:20) The route of a strong relationship is honesty 
(17:13) Relationships are never perfect 
(17:39) Learning to love yourself 
(19:38) Treat yourself how you treat others
(20:15) How therapy has unlocked self-love
(24:02) Being at peace with your past self
(25:23) Reacting to triggers 
(25:56) Lessons from elderly people (what’s important about life?)
(27:08) Lessons from Johann Hari (the opposite of addiction is connection)
(29:00) How does Matt feel today?
(29:23) Outro
Related links:
Johann Hari’s Ted Talk: Everything You Know About Addiction Is WrongChasing The Scream by Johann Hari

Matt dives into the world of hypnosis with the psychiatrist Dr David Spiegel.

In this episode, Matt finds out just how susceptible he is to hypnosis, with results that truly blow him away, and he gets some practical tips on how to reduce anxiety.

Dr Spiegel is the Director of the Center on Stress and Health at Stanford University School of Medicine and a leading authority on hypnosis. He has 50 years experience in this field and he uses hypnosis as a problem-solving tool to treat physical and mental issues - including pain, addiction, anxiety and trauma.

He talks to Matt about this fascinating therapeutic tool and how he’s giving more people the opportunity to use self-hypnosis, to better manage their minds and bodies, through his Reveri app.

Related links:

The Reveri app use the code MATT20 for a 20% discount

More on Dr David Spiegel

Cyclic Sighing

Dr Andrew Huberman

Dr Gabor Maté 

Dopamine Nation by Dr Anna Lembke

(01:46) Dr Herbert Spiegel (David’s father and a pioneer in hypnosis)

(04:38) What is hypnosis and how does it work?

(05:46) Dr Spiegel’s first experience of using hypnosis 

(09:41) Is hypnosis safe?

(11:54) How cyclic sighing calms your body and improves your mood

(15:56) The many conditions hypnosis can help (including migraines and phobias)

(19:52) Differing levels of hypnotisability

(21:44) Dr Spiegel tests Matt’s hypnotisability

(27:40) Hypnosis and addiction (including smoking)

(30:00) Hypnosis and trauma

(40:18) Relapse prevention (and the role of dopamine in addiction)

(42:08) The Reveri hypnosis app

(45:09) Hypnosis and anxiety (including practical tips for performers like Matt)

(53:01) Matt’s outro (he’s both amazed and more relaxed)

Matt is back in the hot seat for our second Q and A episode!