A question from a anxoius attachment style subreddit. It says. 

I've just started seeing someone new. We're just a couple of dates in, but on the surface it's going great. We get on crazily well, I'm really attracted to her and things have already gotten physical.

This isn't my first rodeo though and unsurprisingly considering my broken picker, I'm seeing some serious red flags. I'm already picking up on mixed signals and there's signs she has patterns of emotional unavailability.

After many mistakes in the past, this time I'm trying to ensure I don't get at all attached until she can provide solid and conclusive evidence that she's inot me and is attracted to me, she wants a relationship, she's emotionally available, if she's not, then she's in therapy and is working on it. 

Realistically this might take months, and I'm ok with that. The big challenge here though is texting. 

Whereas texting can be fun, it's not particularly useful for really learning about a person such as answering the questions above. I think you can only really gain an insight into those things by spending time together in person. I guess you could discuss them via test but it certainly wouldn't be my preference. 

At the same time, texting is the anxious attachment style's kryptonite. As much as I tell myself I won't get attached, you can bet I'm still over-analyzing everything from how slow she's responding, whether she's writing as much as me, which emojis she's using etc. All the breathing exercises in the world won't help me here, it cannot be avoidant, it is my nature.

So I thought if I have so little gain, and so much to lose, what if we just didn't do it?

It's a whole 10 days until we see each other, and I thought It'd be so much easier if I said I'd just catch her then and to have a lovely 10 days in the meantime. The only issue is this seems like something that just isn't done in modern dating. 

Have any of your tried this? How did you approach the conversation?

If you don't know if your strongest attachment style is the preoccupied anxious attachment style, the secure attachment style, the dismissive attachment style, or the fearful avoidant attachment style, which is also known as the disorganized attachment style, I have two links to help you figure that out. 

The first link is quicker and has some tools to help you. The second one is longer and shows your results on a graph.

Attachment Quiz 1:

https://pds.idevaffiliate.com/151.html

Attachment Quiz 2:

http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl

Better Help Online Therapy 10% Discount:

https://betterhelp.com/relationshipattachments

Online-Therapy Discount:

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Reddit Question Link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AnxiousAttachment/comments/156zh54/texting_in_between_dates_can_i_justnot/

Attached Book:

https://amzn.to/3XYqMLX

Avoidant Book:

https://amzn.to/3Dlaovs