Relationships and Relationshits

Am I the asshole subreddit is the topic today. I go over a woman who doesn't want her husband to know the sex of their baby because he doesn't show up for any doctors appointments. The other story is a difficult bridesmaid who doesn't want to wear her bridesmaid dress.

We are going over two Am I the Asshole subreddits. We will discuss a few adult children having to deal with difficult situations with their parents.

We are going over two subreddits about the attachment styles. Or attachment theory as some know it. We discuss every attachment style; the fearful avoidant attachment style, the preoccupied anxious attachment style, the secure attachment style, and the dismissive avoidant attachment style.

Today we are talking about a guy who is improving his anxious attachment style when his girlfriend goes out with her friends. And we are asking if a woman who told another parent to fuck off, is she the asshole?

Attachment Quiz Option 1: https://pds.idevaffiliate.com/151.html

Attachment Quiz Option 2: http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.p

Better Help Online Therapy Discount: https://betterhelp.com/relationshipattachments

This links are affiliates.

Am I The Asshole today covers naan bread drama and sloppy seconds. A boyfriend has special rules for his girlfriend with them sharing naan bread. And two sisters having drama due to having dated the same guy. Who will be the asshole?

A subreddit asks if anyone has had success becoming more of a secure attachment style. I read the question and some comments of some who have had some success become more of a secure attachment style. One of the key things for single people is to choose a partner who doesn't trigger your attachment style.

The comments are coming from those with a preoccupied anxious attachment style. If you don't know your strongest attachment style I have two attachment style quizzes to help you out. The first one is less detailed but also has material to assist in your attachment style journey. The second link is more detailed and I recommend doing it several times during different times in your life to see you progress or lack of progress. Or see how someone is affecting your attachment style.

The four attachment styles are the secure attachment style, the preoccupied anxious attachment style, the dismissive avoidant attachment style, and the fearful avoidant attachment style, which is also known as the disorganized attachment style. You will have all of the attachment styles but at different levels. You will most likely be stronger in one attachment style.

You can also learn attachment styles from me on TikTok and YouTube Shorts at @relationshipattachments.

Here is the link for the book on Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) for those interested in researching that:

https://amzn.to/3YmuqiG

Attachment Quiz 1:

https://pds.idevaffiliate.com/151.html

Attachment Quiz 2:

http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl

Better Help Link with 10% discount:

https://betterhelp.com/relationshipattachments

Online-Therapy:

https://onlinetherapy.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=2492

Attached Book:

https://amzn.to/3XYqMLX

Avoidant Book:

https://amzn.to/3Dlaovs

I am discussing the Strange Situation Text used to group peole into four attachment styles. The strange situation test is a widely used experimental procedure in developmental psychology to assess attachment patterns between infants or young children and their primary caregivers. The children were aged 12 to 24 months.

The main objective of the strange situation test is to observe and understand how children react to brief separations from and reunions with their caregivers in a controlled and unfamiliar environment. The text provides valuable insights into the child's attachment style, which is critical aspect of early socio-emotional development.

If you don't know if your strongest attachment style is the secure attachment style, the preoccupied anxious attachment style, the dismissive avoidant attachment style, or the fearful avoidant attachment style, also known as the disorganized attachment style, I have two links to help you figure that out.

Attachment Quiz 1:

https://pds.idevaffiliate.com/151.html

Attachment Quiz 2:

http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl

Better Help Online Therapy 10% Discount:

https://betterhelp.com/relationshipattachments

Online-Therapy Discount:

https://onlinetherapy.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=2492

Attached book:

https://amzn.to/3XYqMLX

Avoidant book:

https://amzn.to/3Dlaovs

A question from a anxoius attachment style subreddit. It says.

I've just started seeing someone new. We're just a couple of dates in, but on the surface it's going great. We get on crazily well, I'm really attracted to her and things have already gotten physical.

This isn't my first rodeo though and unsurprisingly considering my broken picker, I'm seeing some serious red flags. I'm already picking up on mixed signals and there's signs she has patterns of emotional unavailability.

After many mistakes in the past, this time I'm trying to ensure I don't get at all attached until she can provide solid and conclusive evidence that she's inot me and is attracted to me, she wants a relationship, she's emotionally available, if she's not, then she's in therapy and is working on it.

Realistically this might take months, and I'm ok with that. The big challenge here though is texting.

Whereas texting can be fun, it's not particularly useful for really learning about a person such as answering the questions above. I think you can only really gain an insight into those things by spending time together in person. I guess you could discuss them via test but it certainly wouldn't be my preference.

At the same time, texting is the anxious attachment style's kryptonite. As much as I tell myself I won't get attached, you can bet I'm still over-analyzing everything from how slow she's responding, whether she's writing as much as me, which emojis she's using etc. All the breathing exercises in the world won't help me here, it cannot be avoidant, it is my nature.

So I thought if I have so little gain, and so much to lose, what if we just didn't do it?

It's a whole 10 days until we see each other, and I thought It'd be so much easier if I said I'd just catch her then and to have a lovely 10 days in the meantime. The only issue is this seems like something that just isn't done in modern dating.

Have any of your tried this? How did you approach the conversation?

If you don't know if your strongest attachment style is the preoccupied anxious attachment style, the secure attachment style, the dismissive attachment style, or the fearful avoidant attachment style, which is also known as the disorganized attachment style, I have two links to help you figure that out.

The first link is quicker and has some tools to help you. The second one is longer and shows your results on a graph.

Attachment Quiz 1:

https://pds.idevaffiliate.com/151.html

Attachment Quiz 2:

http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl

Better Help Online Therapy 10% Discount:

https://betterhelp.com/relationshipattachments

Online-Therapy Discount:

https://onlinetherapy.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=2492

Reddit Question Link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AnxiousAttachment/comments/156zh54/texting_in_between_dates_can_i_justnot/

Attached Book:

https://amzn.to/3XYqMLX

Avoidant Book:

https://amzn.to/3Dlaovs

Today I'm going over the history of attachment styles. If you are like me you'd like to know about the history of the things you learn. I go over the beginnings of attachment theory and talk about the pioneers, John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, and Mary Main.

If you don't if your strongest attachment style is the secure attachment style, the preoccupied anxious attachment style, the dismissive avoidant attachment style, or the fearful avoidant, also known as the disorganized attachment style, I have two links for you to find that out. The first link is faster to complete and has some tools to help you with your attachment style. The second link is more detailed and can be taken multiple times to see how you are in different times of your life. I also provided some book recommendations and online therapy discounts.

Attachment Quiz 1 and resources:

https://pds.idevaffiliate.com/151.html

Attachment Quiz 2:

http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl

Attached Book:

https://amzn.to/3XYqMLX

Avoidant Book:

https://amzn.to/3Dlaovs

Better Help Online Therapy 10% Discount:

https://betterhelp.com/relationshipattachments

Online-Therapy.com

https://onlinetherapy.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=2492

In this question from the avoidant attachment subreddit a fearful avoidant, also known as a disorganized attachment style person, is wondering how much time is too much time when starting to date someone new. The person believes they are dating an anxious attachment style person. And that person already wants to spend hours with the fearful avoidant person, which of course can scare off an avoidant attachment style person real quick.

If you don't know if your strongest attachment style is the secure attachment style, the preoccupied anxious attachment style, the dismissive avoidant attachment style, or the fearful avoidant attachment style I have 2 links for you to check out. The first link is very quick and offers up some classes on attachment style from The Personal Development School runned by the well known attachment style therapist Thais Gibson. The second link is more detaled and you can take several times over different parts of your life to see how you've changed.

I also have links for two attachment style books I recommend. And also some online therapy options including Better Help.

Attachment Quiz 1:

https://pds.idevaffiliate.com/151.html

Attachment Quiz 2:

http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl

Attached Book:

https://amzn.to/3XYqMLX

Avoidant Book:

https://amzn.to/3Dlaovs

Better Help Online Therapy with a 10% discount:

https://betterhelp.com/relationshipattachments

Online-Therapy.com Discount:

https://onlinetherapy.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=2492

These are all affiliate links.