Discussing the book, Runaway Husbands, and its message to wives who have been unexpectedly abandoned, Tim Tedder and Jennifer Gingras give their input based on their experiences as affair recovery counselors and coaches.

EPISODE NOTES

00:00 Introduction
03:00 Overview of the book, Runaway Husbands
10:30 Hallmarks of Wife Abandonment Syndrome

LINKS

Book Review: Runaway Husbands https://www.affairhealing.com/blog/runaway-husbands

Coaching with Jennifer https://www.affairhealing.com/jennifer-gingras-coaching

Coaching with Tim https://www.affairhealing.com/tim-tedder-coaching

Explore the compromising choices and justifications that lead to infidelity. This episode examines two affairs to understand how this happens in real-life experiences, then considers what can be done when crossing lines affects your marriage.

EPISODE NOTES

00:00 Introduction
01:45 Compromises in Narnia
04:20 Episode Overview
5:00 Amanda’s Story
11:35 Tim’s Story
17:50 Applications and Recommendations

LINKS AND EXTRAS

Download: Identifying Your Steps Toward Infidelity https://www.affairhealing.com/blog/compromising-choices

Download: Emotional Affair Self-Assessment https://www.affairhealing.com/blog/emotional-affair-self-assessment

The book Mistakes Were Made But Not By Me is recommended on this page: https://www.affairhealing.com/more-books

Information on personal coaching: https://www.affairhealing.com/infidelity-recovery-coaching

The blinding pull of an affair and self-deception are explored as Tim Tedder and Suzanne Jahnke discuss "Lovely Fruit," a song Tim wrote to his former self.

This episode offers more than just a conversation about music—it’s a personal reflection on brokenness and change. Whether you’ve experienced betrayal, made your own mistakes, or are simply interested in the process of learning from failure, you’ll find this discussion honest, insightful, and relatable.

EPISODE NOTES

00:00 Introduction
01:55 Conversation about the song
19:55 Lovey Fruit (full song)

LOVELY FRUIT
©2024 Tim Tedder

I'm gonna tell you somethin'
Your pitchman is a liar
This path that you are walkin'
Will take you through the fire

I know it feels like heaven
That's what the promos say
I bought the pitch myself once
Watched promise slip away

This is the best you've ever had
Your old life is a joke
You finally won the big prize
Oops - the lottery's broke

Chorus:
Pick from the tree
Bite its lovely fruit
(let the juice flow down)
Muddy the soil
Poison the root
Pick from the tree
Bite its lovely fruit
(feel the juice run down)
Muddy the soil
Poison the root

You think you're gonna make it
When others didn't last
They may have missed the boarding
Your ticket is first-class

Sit back, enjoy the ride
Sip down another gin
Dream of where you're going
Forget where you have been

This is the best you've ever had
Your old life is a joke (tell yourself)
You finally won the big prize
Oops - the lottery's broke

(Chorus)

I know you're not listening
Nobody knows like you

I hope you wake up soon enough
I hope your bridge won't burn
You can go the hard way
Or take a different turn

(Chorus)

I know you're not listening
Nobody knows like you

LINKS & EXTRAS

Find out more about Suzanne Janke and her practice on her website, suzannejanke.com.

Need personal help? Set up a video session with Tim Tedder: https://www.affairhealing.com/tim-tedder-coaching

Download the Lovely Fruit song (mp3 audio file) on the episode webpage: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/09

Learn about limerence, that “falling in love” feeling, from neuroscientist Dr. Tom Bellany in this candid conversation with therapists Tim Tedder and Sharon Barbour.

EPISODE NOTES

00:00 Introduction
01:35 What is limerence?
06:20 Limerence and Love
10:00 What's going on in the brain?
15:10 What triggers limerence?
19:27 Infidelity and Limerence
23:10 Leaving Limerence
32:24 Are some people more prone to limerence?
33:30 Final Thoughts

LINKS & EXTRAS

Dr Tom Bellamy’s website: https://livingwithlimerence.com

Information about the book, Smitten: https://livingwithlimerence.com/lwl-book/

Related article - The Neuroscience of Affair Fog (by Dr Bellamy): https://www.affairhealing.com/affair-recovery-articles/neuroscience-of-affair-fog

Information on personal coaching: https://www.affairhealing.com/infidelity-recovery-coaching

An honest consideration of the indecision between choosing your spouse or your affair partner, based on the personal experience and professional work of Tim Tedder, LMHC.

EPISODE NOTES

00:00 Introduction
02:05 A Story of Indecision
05:45 The Damage of Indecision
07:35 What Keeps You Stuck?
11:30 What I Wish I’d Known
12:40 Questions to Ask Yourself
14:40 Making Space to Consider
16:05 Regret and Opportunity

LINKS & EXTRAS

Need personal help? Set up a video session with Tim: https://www.affairhealing.com/tim-tedder-coaching

Tim’s full affair story: https://www.affairhealing.com/affair-stories/tim-affair-story

Article: Is It Affair Fog or Real Love? https://www.affairhealing.com/affair-recovery-articles/affair-fog-or-real-love

Article: Making Change that Lasts (motivated by who you will BE) https://www.affairhealing.com/affair-recovery-articles/change-that-lasts

A conversation about gaslighting: What is it? Where does the term come from? How does it show up in affair recovery? What should you do if you’re being gaslighted?

EPISODE NOTES

00:00 Introduction
01:25 What is gaslighting?
03:15 Origin of the term - exerpts from the movie, Gaslight
05:40 What gaslighting is not
8:00 Gaslighting in affair recovery
21:50 What to do if you’re being gaslighted
31:15 Recommended resource

LINKS

Links to the resource and other recommendations can be found on the podcast page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/006

The song “This Healing Place” is discussed by Tim Tedder, LMHC, and Suzanne Janke, LCSW, who consider the creative process and the song’s message of healing from the wounds of infidelity.

EPISODE NOTES

00:00 Introduction
02:45 Tim & Suzanne discuss the song
30:50 Entire song: This Healing Place

This Healing Place Lyrics
written by Tim Tedder

Come as you are, bring pieces you’ve saved,
Fragments of you—so broken, so brave.
We’ll sit with the sorrow, release all the shame,
Restoring what’s shattered, reclaiming your name.

(Chorus)
In this healing place, there’s room to feel,
To breathe through the hurt, believe wounds can heal.
Faith over failure, hope over pain,
Finding the courage to love once again.

It’s okay to stumble and question the path,
Feel the pain of the loss, but not let it last.
There’s strength in the waiting, grace in the fall,
We’re building back bridges and breaking down walls.

(Chorus)

This is a heartache that hollows your soul,
Making you doubt if you’ll ever be whole.
But others have come here, in much the same way,
Opening doors to a new, brighter day.

(Chorus)

LINKS & EXTRAS

Download the song (mp3 audio file) at: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/005

Find out more about Suzanne Janke and her practice on her website: https://www.suzannejanke.com

Need personal help? Set up a video session with one of our coaches: https://www.affairhealing.com/infidelity-recovery-coaching

Part 3 of Elisa’s story, seven months after discovering her husband’s affair. She discusses dealing with her children and with the affair partner. This is part 3 of a 3-part interview conducted by Tim Tedder.

EPISODE NOTES

00:00 Introduction
01:30 Elisa and her children
18:40 Elisa and her husband’s affair partner
25:00 The struggle and the hope

EXTRAS

If you need help working through infidelity issues, our coaches are available to work with you: https://affairhealing.com/infidelity-recovery-coaching.

Part 2 of Elisa’s story, seven months after discovering her husband’s affair. This is part 2 of a 3-part interview conducted by Tim Tedder. Elisa talks about gaining a clearer perspective of her husband’s infidelity, experiencing grief and pain, and making hard choices for her future.

EPISODE NOTES

00:00 Introduction
00:50 Preview of Part 3
02:15 The Interview, Part 2

EXTRAS

If you need help working through infidelity issues, our coaches are available to work with you: https://affairhealing.com/infidelity-recovery-coaching.

Part 1 of Elisa’s story, seven months after discovering her husband’s affair. This is part 1 of a 3-part interview conducted by Tim Tedder.

EPISODE NOTES

00:00 Introduction
00:50 Preview of Part 2
02:10 The Interview, Part 1

EXTRAS

If you need help working through infidelity issues, our coaches are available to work with you: https://affairhealing.com/infidelity-recovery-coaching.