BPD Idealization Phase Causes Fantasy Bonding
BPD idealization in the beginning of a significant other relationship
creates a fantasy bond. People with BPD, not having any stable sense
of self, are intense and want (often) immediate "relationship on". After
the person with BPD splits you to a major devaluation, you will not ever
be able to be re-idealized.
People with Codependency (often unaware of this) are very emotionally 
hungry - needing validation and reassurance (from childhood woundedness)
feel fantastic, your feelings in the BPD idealization phase increase your sense
of self-worth and self-esteem until the ruptured splits of BPD devaluation start
happening.
If you are ghosted and/or discarded you've lost yourself so much to focusing
intensely on the person with BPD, trying, in vain, to get back to that beginning
and how great everything felt. Codependents after a BPD Breakup find it feels
next to impossible to not get that idealizing person with BPD back to re-capture
the elusive - not ever going to happen again - idealization phase and who you
thought the person with BPD was.

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