Brain First Parenting with Eileen Devine

SUMMARY - In this newest episode, Eileen highlights a trap that is common for parents, teachers, and providers to fall into when supporting with kids and teens who have brain-based differences and challenging behaviors. This trap is making assumptions, often without even realizing it, about what that child or teen's brain can do and not factoring in their lagging cognitive skills and how this impacts that specific situation. In this episode, Eileen gives 8 examples of common assumptions made about kids with brain-based differences and provides a free downloadable infographic to accompany this episode. See details on how to access that infographic below.

TAKEAWAYS:

• Learning about the brain, what it does, and how it functions helps us gain a better understanding of what this means for individuals with brains that work differently.
• Learning about this also makes us (parents, teachers and providers) less susceptible to making assumptions about others' brains and how they work.
• The goal, when supporting kids with brain-based differences, is to recognize when we are making assumptions about their brain and cognitive skills so we can pause and assess as to whether or not this is true for that individual.
• Examples of common assumptions society makes about brains and how this compares to what we know about those living with neurobehavioral differences.

RESOURCES:

FREE downloadable handout: 10 Assumptions We Make About How All Brains Function

Understanding the Window of Tolerance (blog post)

=======================

If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest

SUMMARY - When you have a child who often behaves in ways that are not good, right, or appropriate, you want to address the problematic behavior as their parent. This can be challenging to do with a child who lives with a neurobehavioral difference and must be approached in a way that has their brain in mind. In this episode, Eileen talks about why this process can be more challenging for kids with neurobehavioral differences, and how parents can take a different approach to address problematic behaviors.

TAKEAWAYS:

• It is within the role and responsibility of a parent to address problematic behavior with their child, even when these behaviors are symptoms of a brain-based difference.
• How addressing problematic behaviors looks different when your child or teen has a neurobehavioral difference.
• Traditional parenting lens approach to addressing challenging behaviors vs a Brain First approach
• How to address problematic behaviors from a Brain First lens
• What cognitive skills are involved in having a conversation about a specific event or situation that included the problematic behavior
• What it looks like to shift the focus from punishments to building lagging skills and why this is a better use of your energy

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Moving Forward by Circling Back

=======================

If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen speaks to the experience of parenting a child who is often times seen as the kid who "ruins everything". She breaks down what is actually happening when a child's behavior appears to be intentional and willful, how to shift to seeing them through a Brain First Parenting lens, and steps parents can take to proactively prevent the same outcome in the future.

TAKEAWAYS:

• Having a child who is seen as "ruining everything" is unfortunately a common experience for parents of kids with brain-based differences and challenging behavioral symptoms.
• In these hard moments, the task for parents is to shift from a behavioral lens to a Brain First lens. Eileen provides some ideas on how to do this.
• What parents can focus and reflect on after the difficult experience has passed, to deepen their understanding of their child and proactively build in more accommodations for future events to prevent the same negative outcome.
• What a child begins to believe about themselves when they are seen as "ruining everything" and how parents can buffer against these negative outcomes.

Related Blog Posts:

"You Ruin Everything."

Looking for individualized parent support? Eileen offers parent coaching to parents across the globe. You can learn more about her one-to-one support services HERE.

=======================

If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest

SUMMARY - When you are the parent of a child or teen with brain-based differences and challenging behavioral symptoms, it is a common experience to not have your experience, as the parent, acknowledged or supported. This is the other side of the "coin" when parenting from a Brain First lens, and deserves (and requires) as much attention and support as the other side of the "coin", which is the child and their needs. In this episode, Eileen reflects on her own experience, as well as those of parents she has worked with, highlighting the importance of attending to your well-being as a parent of a complex child with intense needs.

TAKEAWAYS:

• Understanding both sides of the Brain First Parenting "coin" is essential to being able to thrive in the experience of parenting a child with brain-based differences and challenging behavioral symptoms.
• The first side is understanding your child's unique neurobiology and parenting them in alignment with how their brain and nervous system works. The other side, which is largely ignored or unacknowledged, is the lived experience of the parent.
• Why it is essential to acknowledge the unique (and often hard) aspects of parenting a child or teen with intense needs, and why this is where healing can take place.

If you feel like you would benefit from one-to-one, individualized support, you can checkout the parent coaching support Eileen offers parents just like you.

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Tending Both Sides of the Parenting Coin

Reconsidering What It Means to Be Resilient

=======================

If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen walks through a common fear that many parents hold, which is that if they fully accommodate their child or teen, that they will prevent their child from growing, developing and maturing.

TAKEAWAYS

• Why, exactly, we provide accommodations to kids, teens, and young adults who have brain-based differences
• Why accommodations are the path towards less challenging behavioral symptoms
• It is a normal part of learning to parent from a Brain First lens to have a concern that you (the parent) are over-accommodating your child or teen
• We all need adequate support in our various environments to be able to keep our thinking brain on-line, stay in our window of tolerance and grow in our skills
• When kids live with brain-based differences and a fragile nervous system, they need even greater accommodations to experience felt-safety and navigate their world successfully, due to their unique neurobiology
• Accommodations do not stunt growth, they are the very thing that promotes growth and helps our kids mature

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

6 Key Questions that Lead to Effective Accommodations

Understanding the Window of Tolerance - Pt. 1

The Brain First approach will change how you parent

=======================

If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen will break down the common and often exhausting behavioral symptom called perseveration. She takes the listeners through what perseveration looks like behaviorally, so parents can identify it in their child or teen; how it is connected to the brain; and how parents can help their child when they get stuck in perseveration loops.

TAKEAWAYS

• The definition of perseveration
• The difference between perseveration and OCD
• How to see this behavioral symptom through a Brain First lens
• What cognitive skills are connected to perseveration
• How you can identify preservation in your child or teen
• What you can do as a parent to help break the perseveration loop your child or teen is stuck in
• Common experiences for a parent who has a child or teen experiencing perseveration

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Getting Unstuck: 4 Ways to Help Your Child Break the Perseveration Loop

=======================

If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen takes you, step-by-step, through a universal and highly misunderstood characteristic seen in kids and teens with brain-based differences, which is a maturity gap in comparison to same-aged peers. She explains how this gap is connected to the brain, how to identify it for what it is (as a lagging cognitive skill set), and how to more successfully support a child or teen who experiences this gap.

TAKEAWAYS

• Why kids with brain-based differences so often behave in ways that are seen as "immature"
• How this "immaturity" is connected to their unique brain
• How this behavioral symptom is typically viewed (through a behavioral lens), and how to shift our understanding of it to a Brain First lens
• Dysmaturity: what it is and how to identify it in your child or teen
• How to respond to dysmaturity from a Brain First lens, allowing you to help your child or teen grow in their cognitive skills
• Common experiences for a parent who has a child or teen experiencing dysmaturity

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Helping Our Children Navigate Friendships

Dysmaturity and the Challenges of Friendship

=======================

If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen explains why kids who live with neurobehavioral conditions and are always seen as "the problem," are actually kids who are doing the best they can; they are highly misunderstood and need more support for their brain-based difference. She explains how the actual problem is society's view of behaviors, and how this behavioral lens is what leads to kids with brain-based differences experiencing challenging behavioral symptoms.

TAKEAWAYS

• Kids with brain-based differences are not "the problem." The "problem" begins with the way in which society views their differences.
• Viewing behaviors through a Brain First lens allows us to see challenging behaviors as symptoms of an environment that is lacking needed accommodations.
• It is essential to look at the true, root cause of the behavior, so that adequate supports can be put in place, which leads to less of the challenging behaviors.

RELATED BLOG POST:

Your Child is Not the ‘Problem’... It's Actually Society’s Narrow Lens

=======================

If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen dives into a common characteristic in children and teens with brain-based differences and challenging behavioral symptoms, which is 'on 'and 'off' days. Eileen begins helping parents identify this common lagging skill in their kids, and how they can begin to accommodate their child or teen as it relates to on and off days.

TAKEAWAYS

• The definition of 'on' and 'off' days as it related to cognitive skills.
• How on and off days are linked to a brain that functions differently.
• What this lagging skill looks like behaviorally.
• What factors can lead to a child or teen living with a brain-based difference to have off days.
• How not recognizing off days can lead to burnout for the parent.
• How parents can work to see on and off days as a "brain thing" and how they can respond to off days in ways that result in skills growth and increased connection.

=======================

If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen explains why so many kids and teens with brain-based differences struggle to make and keep friends, and how parents can support their children by building the cognitive skills required to be in relationship with peers.

TAKEAWAYS

• Why the process of making and keeping friends creates nearly universal challenges for kids and teens with brain-based differences.
• How to see this challenge through a Brain First Parenting lens (vs a behavioral lens).
• The specific lagging cognitive skills that get in the way of your child or teen having successful peer relationships.
• How parents can help their children grow in these cognitive skills.
• Common experiences for the parent of a child who struggles with making and keeping friends and why it's important to recognize the emotions this common struggles can bring to the forefront as a parent.

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Moving Forward by Circling Back

'Why Can't We Be Friends?' - ​Cognitive Skills Your Child Needs for Successful Relationships...

Helping Our Children Navigate Friendships

Dysmaturity and the Challenges of Friendship

=======================

If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest