Co-Pareting or Parallel Parenting With a BPD Ex - Another RollerCoaster

Co-Parenting or Parallel parenting with a BPD - Borderline Personality Disordered Ex is for so
many people, a nightmare. Not all BPD parents are the same, but, many, many of them are untreated,competitive, need their child or children's love and validation in such an unhealthy way that their need for a child or children's "loyalty" "never abandon me" drives so many Borderline Mothers and Borderline fathers to alienate you from you child or children.

Co-parenting efforts on the part of your BPD Ex may well be so full of high-conflict and many a parent with BPD cannot put their child's needs ahead of their own. If the BPD Ex still blames you for everything they deem that was "wrong" with the relationship they carry on believing that you shouldn't have any rightsto "their child". For many Co-parenting will end up more being Parallel parenting. Either way you need to have done your healing work to be able to stay calm, to be non-reactive to the BPD Ex and to only communicate facts about what your child needs. 

Co-parenting, for many, not all, with a BPD Ex just become another somewhat different but very familiar rollercoaster experience that you need to learn how to strategize to cope with while giving your child emotional safety and love and as healthy of a life as you can during your custody or visitation. As conflict-laden as most of these situations
are it is really not going to be any better for you or your child or children to try to stay in a toxic BPD relationship hoping that will help your child or children. Sadly, they are going to be wounded in childhood. 

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