Coaching for Leaders

Bringing smart ideas to the table isn't enough; we also need to be able to sell those ideas. The best idea communicated poorly will fare much worse than a mediocre idea communicated well. In this episode, I'll examine what you can do to help your ideas take off.

Six mistakes you may be making when pitching a great idea:

1) Neglecting to interact with the people who are impacted most by your idea.

2) Ignoring people who could help you.

3) Spending too much time on the unimportant details.

4) Assuming the "pitch" is the decision point.

5) Failing to strategize how to work around obstacles.

6) Hesitating on bad news.

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JoAnne Norton: Family Business Consulting Group

Family businesses account for 60% of all jobs in the United States and 98% of all companies elsewhere. The dynamics of family business are unique and communication becomes even more critical. In this episode, I interview family business consultant JoAnne Norton of the Family Business Consulting Group on how family business can prosper from one generation to the next with effective communication.

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Charles Max Wood

As our careers grow, we get more and more opportunities to attend conferences. Most people fail to maximize what they can gain from a conference. In this episode, I interview experienced conference-goer and speaker Charles Max Wood of Ruby Rogues and Javascript Jabber on how he maximizes the value he gets from conferences.

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Where people go wrong on birthdays and other important occasions:

Many of have defaulted to no more than "HBD" on Facebook or other social media

Some people even send birthday cards and just sign their names (gasp!)

We've lost the personal touch

I ever get robocalls now on my birthday

How you can be better

Have something to remind you (but not automated to send to the other party)

Avoid the obligatory stuff you do because you feel like you have to

Focus on the people who are close to you first and spend more time engaging with them on special days

Instead of a "happy birthday," how about sharing why you are grateful that that person showed up in your life

I record a brief audio greeting for special people in my life to share why I'm grateful for them

Whatever you do, make the personal connection...and do it sincerely

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

We discuss a few examples of stubbornness showing up in our work and lives.

Some of the reasons that we fall into a pattern of being stubborn:

1) We are perceived as experts in our field or topic (or we've convinced ourselves of this) and it simply doesn't occur to us that we might be wrong about anything related to it.

2) We decided that we know enough about the situation, topic, or problem already and refuse to put in effort to discover more.

3) We need to fight every batte instead of carefully choosing them.

4) We miss the grey areas with people that make each situation unique and worthy of different types of responses from us.

How We Can Work To Fix It: 

1) Let's examine how we react or respond when people bring us new ideas, suggestions, or changes - we can notice this ourselves, solicit feedback, or do assessment work. Either way, its important to become aware of our own patterns and tendencies.

2) We need to decide what shift (if any) is important for us to avoid stubbornness. For Dave, this shift is spending more time listening and less time explaining.

3) Find a way to hold yourself accountable for the results you want. If we're not holding ourselves accountable in some way, then we don't have sustainable change.

4) Find a shared truth (not just my truth or your truth - but a truth we can hold together).

5) Surround yourself with people who support you - Dave mentions how Bonni has been a big support in this way.

Books We Mentioned:

Getting to Yes by Fisher and Ury

Getting Past No by Ury

Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton, Heen, and Fisher

The Abilene Paradox by Harvey

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The New Year is a natural time to think about renewal and how to be more effective as a leader. However, some of the typical things many of us do with New Year's resolutions often end in failure - 88% of the time, according to one study. I look at how three words can help you set the stage for your development actions this year.

I discuss how running a marathon helped me understand why so many of us have a hard time tackling so many goals at once.

The problem with resolutions:

A study by Richard Wiesman in the UK followed 3,000 people for a year and determined that only 12% of people actually fulfill their New Year's resolutions

Intention is easy - but putting the time into action is hard

We are going to hit obstacles we don't anticipate

We we bit off more than we can chew, our systems can crumble. I talk about how I made this mistake a bit last year in my planning (see episode #23) and why I tried to do too much all at once.

What works better:

Reflect on the past year.

Ask yourself: What did I do well last year? Where did I fall short?

Ask people around you the same questions - talk to people you trust

Look at assessments, 360s, performance reviews

Examine patterns you are seeing with your team or group of people you lead - it get magnified

What are the general themes that emerge of what you want to do differently?

One example for me - interaction with others and social media

Find three words that can meet it

My three: Show Up, Flexibility, and Collaboration

Start with one goal that will lead you there

Communicate it:

Have your 3 words visible

Share your words with others

Ask others to give feedback/coaching on this

This is an effective way to connect with your team as well, as it's simple for people to remember your goals

I'd love to hear your 3 - and also I'd love to hear what works for you in your self-development at the beginning of a year.

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All of us are trying to be effective while handling some level of chaos, yet some are more efficient in getting it all done than others. Dave responds to a listener question and gives suggestions for how to get it all done when the reason you aren't getting it done is because you have too much on your plate.

1) Figure out what you need to do exclusively, that no one else can do

Look at the last really full week you had...

What could you teach someone else to do?

Are you believing the fallacy that no one else could do as good a job as you on all your tasks?

2) Have defined outcomes for a specific timeframe

Contract with your manager on what outcomes are most important

Remember that you can't hit a target that you don't have

Keep these priorities simple and easily trackable. The SMART framework can be helpful (see episode #15)

3) Do quality work (be careful about just focusing on speed)

Figure out what performance metrics are important to your organization

Meet or exceed those metrics

If you don't have clarity, try to find out how your leaders are measured

4) Come to the table with solutions

Present challenges with the scope of work and give realistic projections backed up with evidence

Allow your leader to participate in the decision you've made on priorities

What not to say? My team has too much work and is overwhelmed (that's not taking ownership)

5) Learn how to say no

You can't be everything to everybody

Set boundaries in advance and trust your gut reactions

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

It's understandable that many of us would want to take positive actions to be an effective leader. While positive steps are important, our experience has been that first stopping the things that aren't working will get you faster results. In this week's show, we look at what you should stop saying to the people you lead.

What is said: "I don't mean to be xxxxx, but..."

What you teach people: I likely am whatever I just said that I don't mean to be

What is said: "But..."

What you teach people: Ignore everything I said before I said the word "but"

What is said: "Well, to be honest with you..."

What you teach people: I'm not always honest all of the time

What is said: "You made me feel..."

What you teach people: Confusion, since nobody can make you feel anything

What is said: Anger expressed at someone bringing bad news, even if they didn't cause it

What you teach people: Don't ever bring me bad news

What is said: I'm going to be the devil's advocate here...

What you teach people: I either like arguing for the sake of arguing or I'm not willing to own my opinions

What is said: Giving your own opinion after asking someone for feedback

What you teach people: You don't really care about what they think

Bonni also mentioned the 6 Thinking Hats as a model for more effective dialogue

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

All of us are being bombarded by so much information and data that we can barely keep up. If we want to be able to influence more effectively, we need to be able to do it concisely. Bonni and I discuss strategies for making this happen.

Mark Twain received the following telegram from a publisher:

NEED 2-PAGE SHORT STORY TWO DAYS.

And famously replied...

NO CAN DO 2 PAGES TWO DAYS. CAN DO 30 PAGES 2 DAYS. NEED 30 DAYS TO DO 2 PAGES.

In his book Information Anxiety, Richard Saul Wurman states that a standard issue of the New York Times contains more information than a citizen of 17th England would have absorbed in their entire lifetime.

The problem?

Many people will tune us out when we are not concise.

People stop taking calls or are often "unavailable" from people who can't be concise.

Lots of people will stop seeking advice from someone who can't give it concisely.

We don't have credibility with most audiences if we can't communicate what we know concisely.

What are the causes?

For many of my clients, their technical training works against them in communicating concisely.

People believe (falsely) that they are more credible the longer they speak. Not true...it's about quality, not quantity.

The "PowerPoint culture" in many organizations has reinforced the myth that more information in slides is better when presentation information. Most of the time, it's not - less is more.

Since making something concise takes time and investment, some of us simply just don't want to do it out of laziness...even when we know it would help the audience.

Selfishness sometimes creeps in - we like to hear ourselves talk and we forget that our purpose is to add value for the audience, not to look good ourselves.

What are the solutions?

Ask yourself if what you are about the communicate is really essential to the overall message?

If you put yourself in the audience's shows, would you really care about what it is you are about to say?

Have someone you trust who knows your audience listen to what you are going to say before you get in front of your manager, a meeting, or a large presentation.

Budget time to edit down what you are saying to make it more concise.

Suggestions for implementation:

Have firm standards on your conciseness and stick to them...

As an example, this show is almost always 40 minutes or less.

My weekly articles are 500 words or less

Join Toastmasters and get practice speaking concisely

Attend the Dale Carnegie Course and learn and use many models to get ideas across quickly.

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I've come to the conclusion over the years that pretty much nobody likes performance reviews. Either you are having great dialogue and development conversations with people already and might not need them - or you are forced into conversations that don't set the stage for regular dialogue. That said, there are things you can do that will make this a better experience for both parties.

Here are seven things you can do that will help you (and the people you lead) survive performance reviews:

1) Start early and do harder ones first: You won't do an effective job at handling all the advice below if you start late on this project. Too many leaders with large teams write all their performance reviews on the same day in a short period of time. Rather, take the time to think through what you will write (and later say) and how you plan to communicate it. Also, do the hardest reviews first - this will help clear your mind and also keep you from stressing about difficult reviews throughout the process.

2) If you need to, practice: Many reviews won't require practice in advance, but at least some will. Practice giving tough feedback and having difficult conversations with a neutral party (not another employee, of course). Tap into help from a peer, leader, or human resources professional who can help.

3) Don't spring surprises (and if you have to, give people time to save face): Feedback should be coming from you regularly during the review period. If there is something negative that shows up on the performance review, the person you are reviewing should already have been hearing about it from you for awhile and had a chance to begin working on it. When this isn't possible (due to leadership transitions) give people time to absorb negative feedback and save some face before attempting to have a constructive conversation.

4) Balance the conversation appropriately: If the person you are reviewing is doing great work in 95% of their duties, don't spend half the time talking about the 1-2 areas where they are lacking. Save that conversation for another time to go into more detail. Likewise, if a person is seriously under performing in a major of their work, then don't try to find positive things to talk about to balance out the bad news - your time giving feedback needs to accurately reflect the work they are doing.

5) Give specific examples: You aren't credible on your praise if the best you can say is "good job" and you don't give people a path to correct themselves if critical feedback only suggests a "needs improvement." People need to know specifically what they are doing well so they can repeat and specifically where to make changes to be more in alignment with great performance. Plus, you build trust with people when you cite specific examples. Agree or not, at least they know you care enough to pay attention.

6) Hold your ground: During the review conversation is not the time to be making changes to what you are communicating (thus the importance of point #1). Decide on your message in advance and stick to it. A mixed message based upon strong feedback from the other party only serves to make the conversation more complicated and sending a different message than you intended. If you've had a hard time holding your ground in the past, you need to practice in advance. See point #2.

7) Avoid talking about others not present: You are reviewing one person at a time, not the entire team. Be sure your feedback focuses on the person at hand and doesn't veer into an inappropriate conversation about what others are or are not doing in their development. If you need to speak about others for the purpose of examples, stick to the facts and not your opinions or feedback about their development.

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