Breaking the Grip - Finding Faith and Freedom from Toxic People

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Can a Narcissist Be a Christian? 

You’ve heard of an oxymoron, right? An oxymoron is a self-contradicting word or group of words, like ‘jumbo shrimp,’ ‘awfully good,’ and ‘only choice.’ 

If you were just learning the language, some of these figures of speech would confuse you, and rightfully so. 

 The same is true for an interaction with a person who calls themselves a Christian but displays polar opposite qualities. It’s like an oxymoron--it just doesn’t make sense. 

But who are we to judge whether someone is a Christian or not? After all, we don’t truly know their heart.

 It can make you wonder, who are they really and how am I supposed to treat them?

 That’s why in today’s episode, we will unpack the question--can narcissists be Christians?

My hope is that after today, you will never be fooled again.

 So let’s dive in and first examine, what is a narcissist?

 A narcissist is someone who has an overinflated sense of themselves and is extremely self-involved to the degree that it makes them ignore the needs of those around them—even those they claim to love. 

 Here are some of their defining traits:

• Self-centered
• Egotistical 
• Arrogant
• Self-righteous
• Phony
• Manipulative
• Lying
• Disregarding of others
• Lacking empathy
• Difficulty with intimacy 
• Entitled
• Playing the victim
• High need for adoration

A Christian is someone who has received Jesus as their Lord and Savior. They are as the name implies--“a follower of Christ.” You can recognize them by their:

• Adherence to biblical principles
• Death to their own desires
• Heart for others
• Surrender to God’s will
• Willingness to pick up their cross and follow Jesus no matter the cost.

So it makes sense that when you put these two words together—narcissist and Christian—they seem to form an oxymoron.

And this is where you may feel like you’re losing your mind. Maybe you’re confused by the fact that they call themselves Christians. Or maybe you’ve seen them answer an altar call or go to church more than you. Perhaps they even know scripture—when it suits their agenda.

 The problem is, narcissists usually know enough to be dangerous. But their desire to give up what pleases them is non-existent.

 You see narcissists treat a relationship with God like any other relationship—it’s transactional. And worse, it’s a one-sided transaction.

 Many narcissists WILL accept Jesus as the Savior, but will not live a life for him. And that’s why so much effort goes into maintaining their Christian façade—because it’s all about image for them. 

 One of the narcissist’s qualities is a lack of empathy, but just because narcissists lack empathy, it doesn’t mean they lack ALL emotions. In fact, many will come to Christ through an emotional altar call—perhaps the fear of losing someone, or the desire to obtain someone. In some cases, because they believe it puts them in a favorable light. I’ve known several narcissists who became ‘Christians’ simply for the business connections.

 One of the things they love the most about a relationship with God is they think that a quick ‘I’m sorry’ wipes away all their sins with God, and so it should with you too. So yeah, that part of repentance works well for them. 

 They want all the benefits. But they don’t want to pay the price.

 Just like a relationship with you. They want what they want from you but they’re not willing to invest. They will paint the picture and create the image of a good husband or a sweet w

5 Toxic Movies God Wants You to Stop Romanticizing

 Who formed your idea of love? If you’re like many, it wasn’t God, it wasn’t your parents, it wasn’t even the person you fell in love with. No, it was something much more distorted and toxic.

 It was the movies.

 For as long as films have been in existence, they have continued to pervert and disfigure the truth meaning of loving relationships.

 That’s why in today’s episode, I want to talk to you about the 5 toxic movies that God wants you to stop romanticizing, NOW.

 Pop culture affects our views of love and relationships more than we’d like to admit. Even ones that we know are ungodly can even shape our desires and expectations in destructive ways… if we’re not careful.

 Entertainment is not as passive as we’d like to believe. Think of the word….ENTERtainment. When we sit down to a movie, TV show, video game or any other piece of content, we are allowing those images, stories, and ideas to ENTER into our soul.

 Think of how much easier you laugh at jokes at a comedy club….that’s because the environment has been set.

 So when you sit down to a romantic movie, you’re likely doing so with an open mind to receive all the thoughts and feelings associated with this movie.

 And based upon those feelings, you build your belief system. How many times have you heard someone describe a man or woman of their dreams and this person only exists inside of a movie?

 That’s because our view of reality is skewed. 

 They say that more men struggle with pornography than women, but I don’t believe that. Even if women aren’t dealing with the same type of porn as men, their version can be found in the form of romantic movies and fantasy novels--films that give you the warm and fuzzies (romantic feelings) but are riddled with codependency and toxicity.

That’s why in today’s episode, I want to talk to you about 5 toxic movies that God wants you to stop romanticizing.

But before we do, let’s lay the groundwork by talking about the myths that these ‘romantic’ movies portray.

 These myths include:

• If it’s true love, you’ll forgive and forget
• You can’t help who you fall in love with
• Love and addiction are one in the same
• Miscommunication is normal and makes for a more romantic relationship
• You need the other person to make you whole
• Love conquers all (there is truth in that but not in the way we romanticize love. 
• We all have a ‘soulmate’
• Being chased is romantic. 
• Constant fighting means we have passion. 
• If I miss you, we must be meant to be together. 
• And lastly - the payoff. Here’s where we believe that sticking with someone no matter what will have a big payoff, such as maybe hearing the words “you were too good for me” on their death bed

Let’s dive into the 5 toxic movies God wants you to stop romanticizing:

1. A Star Is Born

Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper took the world by storm in the latest retelling of A Star is Born, but we can’t ignore the dangerous message it sends: that women should stay in abusive relationships. Ally continues to make excuses and sacrifices for Jackson because she feels like she owes him for her success. No matter how lightly she treads on those eggshells, or how much she loves him, she can't save him from his demons. Instead of celebrating Ally's achievements, Jackson spirals further into addiction and depression. There isn't a happy ending to this tale, yet filmgoers were captivated by this “love story.” 

This movie is riddled with breathtaking levels of codependency.

It’s a story about doing what feels right and not overthinking. The truth is, Ally would have done well to N

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Have you been saved by grace but still feel like you’re living in a chokehold? 

In Galatians 5:1–15, the apostle Paul discusses the nature of freedom in Christ, beginning with an admonition to “stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.”

 Paul contends that Jesus Christ came to set believers free. But did you know that it’s your job to stay free? 

I’m not talking about your salvation, I’m talking about your freedom.

In John 11, we see the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. He had been dead and buried for four days when Jesus came and called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” And Lazarus came up from the dead.

 What a miracle! Lazarus was dead and now he was alive.

 But there was still a small matter to tend to--the grave clothes.

 So Jesus said, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

 So even though Lazarus was alive, he was still bound up in grave clothes. The miracle of raising him from the dead would have been enough to knock anyone’s socks off, BUT what kind of life would it have been still bound up in his burial garments?

 So, when Jesus comes to set us free, I’ve heard it referred to as happening in three stages: dead, delivered, and dangerous.

 Lazarus was dead. Many people who come to Christ are content to be saved from their old dead life. 

 But few go to the next phase—deliverance, or breaking free from the old clothes that bound you up. Could you imagine if Lazarus said, “Thanks for raising me from the dead Jesus, but that’s good. I’ll take it from here. Don’t touch my grave clothes, don’t try and change my old mindset. Let me hold on to this sin (it’s just tiny vice)….I mean, after all, I’ve been through, I deserve to be happy.” If he had, He’d be considered saved and set free but not delivered. In other words he'd still be in bondage.

 But because he allowed Jesus to strip him of his grave clothes, he was now free to become dangerous. His personal testimony was so powerful that it transformed countless lives for Christ. It was so dangerous, they set out to kill him….

 Dangerous are those Christians who can’t keep their testimony to themselves. They run free to save others. They don’t follow trends. And they certainly aren’t swayed by the toxic opinions of others.

 These dangerous Christians are more concerned with their character than their comfort. They’re more concerned with being biblically correct, then culturally correct. In other words, they’re dangerous.

 So how do you live free? How do you take your salvation and become dangerous? 

You first have to begin to recognize why you’re still in bondage. 

 Number 1: Sin 

Sin is a power that enslaves. From Adam and Eve’s first sin, we have since been born into it. But just because we don’t have a choice about living in a sin-filled world, it doesn’t mean we don’t have a choice as to what we do with it. We are called to no longer be slaves to sin but slaves to righteousness. 

 More cycles could be broken if we just dealt with the main issue at hand: sin. 

 Don’t freak out when sin comes knocking on your door. As a Christian, you will always be under attack. But 1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us that the temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.

 And here’s the even better news. Jesus br

Grab your FREE Uncover Your God-Given Purpose Guide http://krisreece.com/purpose

God’s Calling on Your Life Will Be Revealed in These 3 Ways

 Have you ever wondered what you were created to do? 

Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, “For we are all God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

 But you can miss your calling if you’re hung up on the ‘how-tos’ and the opinions of others. God will rarely use a megaphone to declare your purpose to the world, nor will we be likely to have a burning bush moment like Moses. 

 But, we can glean direction from the life of many of God’s people, and just like these mighty men, your calling could be revealed in one of these 3 ways. 

 Number 1: Joshua

Joshua was POSITIONED.

 Moses was the chosen leader of the people of Israel and for years Joshua was his faithful servant. After the death of Moses, Joshua was called to continue in Moses’ mission. Despite his fear, Joshua was not commanded to ‘be’ Moses, but rather to follow in his footsteps. The Lord spoke to Joshua clearly, appointing him to be the one who would lead the Israelites into the promised land. He was commanded “To be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). 

Under Moses’ leadership, Joshua was positioned perfectly to fulfill his purpose. 

If you are wondering when your time will come, perhaps it would help to remember that the leader you’re serving may be who God uses to position you to step into your calling. 

Purpose is never revealed in isolation. God is not interested in rogue agents. He expects you to grow and develop AND be accountable.

 So if you are resistant to leadership over you, if you struggle with a spirit of rebellion, it’s time to submit--first to God, then to the people He places in your life. They could be God’s Moses for you.

Number 2: Moses

Moses was PRODDED.

I think we can all agree that Moses had an incredible calling from God. The purpose of delivering God’s people from slavery and take them into the promised land is an awe-inspiring goal. Yet, it’s not one Moses ever prayed for.

Nor did he feel equipped to fulfill the call. And HE had the burning bush moment that we all long for.

What’s up with that Moses? Was there something wrong with him? 

No, the truth is, there’s something wrong with US. Our thinking, anyway.

 Fulfilling God’s purpose is not about US. It’s not about your desires, your platform, or YOUR image. It’s about God.

 And when you step back and put yourself in Moses’ shoes, you strip away the ego, the grandiosity, the victim mentality, the entitlement, and you start to see God for who He truly is--NOT your genie in a bottle, but the all-powerful, all-knowing, sovereign God of the Universe.

 The God who created us for HIS purpose, not ours. 

Moses resisted God’s call with retorts like, “I’m not an eloquent speaker” (Exodus 4:10) and, “There has to be someone else you could send” (Exodus 4:13).Yet even though Moses felt ill equipped—and in many ways, he was—with God at the helm, all things are possible. After some prodding, Moses conceded to his call. 

 Is God trying to convince you of your call? You would do well to have a few people in your life who can encourage you to step out in what you believe God is calling you to do. After all, iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). 

 Number 3: Paul

Paul was PULLED.

 Paul was pulled away from his life of arrogance and ignorance and placed into God’s perfect will.

 Few people have a stronger personality than the Apostle Paul. Prior to his conversion, Paul (then Saul) wa

There’s just something refreshing about a new year. It's a brand new opportunity to wipe the slate clean and get a reset. A chance to stop feeling like a loser from missing the mark last year and opportunity and a do-over for this year. Well, hey, my friend. My name is Kris Reece. I want to welcome you back to another edition of the Building Faith Podcast. Where it is my hope to bring you Biblical solutions to life's tough challenges. So, if you are being blessed by our time together, would you do me a favor and go ahead and hit that like and subscribe button so you don't miss a thing. 

So, each January 1  we hit the reset button, and we try again. Now, I love resets, I love new opportunities, I love new seasons, but I hate repeats. I don't like repeating myself, and I hate going around the same mountain. And after a while the views can get a little boring and monotonous, and you don't feel very accomplished. So today, I want to help you to make 2023 the year that you change your view. The year that you actually achieve your goals, so you can aspire to new ones. From losing weight to getting out of debt to spending more time with your family and with God, we all love to take the new year as a new season to set out to, maybe be a better person. But a dream without a plan is just to wish. So, today I want to take you through, four surefire steps to help you nail your goals every single time. 

And, these are the same four steps that I apply to everything that I wish to accomplish. 

Number one, clarify. Look, this seems to be an obvious one, but many miss this. If you can't properly clarify your goals, how are you going to know when you hit them? So, get clear on the goals and the dreams that you have and start by writing them down. There is something powerful that happens when you take it from your head to your hand. Vividly describing your goals is strongly associated with goal success. It actually increases memory retention. 

Now, you may be saying to me, “Kris, believe me. I'm not going to forget that I need to lose 20 pounds.” But, writing those goals down doesn't just help you remember. It makes your mind more efficient in finding the solution to that goal. And, this is not to be confused with the bogus Law-of-Attraction teaching. Proverbs 21:5 reminds us that the plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty. 

When you write down your goals, your wishlist becomes your to-do list. So, start writing and don't worry about the details just yet. Don't dismiss your goals as unachievable just yet. Just get them down on paper and then take the next step. 

Are you struggling with the pain of your past? Maybe someone betrayed you and you just can’t make sense of it. Or perhaps you’re still in the midst of a toxic situation and losing hope for a way out. Or maybe you’re wondering why God isn’t using you. You love Him and long to do His will, only to find yourself always sitting on the sidelines

Over the years in my counseling and ministry there has been one thing that has held people back more than anything.

More than a lack of resources. More than even dysfunctional family dynamics.

That one thing is BITTERNESS.

Before you go clicking away and saying, Pss, I know that and that’s not what I struggle with, allow me the grace to challenge you a moment.

1. You didn’t click this by mistake
2. Bitterness is extremely difficult to see to the naked eye (especially your own eye) as it hides behind layers of pain, pretending and justification, 

In other words bitterness is deceptive. And the worst part about deception is that you don’t know you’re being deceived. 

So I want to challenge your heart today. If you want to be used by God, if you want God’s love to flow through you, then stay with me….

If you’re wondering why some promises haven’t come to pass in your life, it could be that you’re hanging on a wish, not a promise.

Maybe some well-meaning Christians wanted to encourage you and told you that God would grant your every desire….but they are misrepresenting God and leading you astray.

So to keep you from experiencing unnecessary disappointment and frustration, let’s talk about five things that God NEVER promised.

FREE pdf 13 Promises of God You Can Count On
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A few months ago, I launched a series on biblical boundaries, and these videos were met with welcome arms and the thank yous were flooding in, but it wasn't too long until I was inundated with one disheartened message after another. their boundaries weren't working. What went wrong? Was my advice off or are there just certain people that are immune to boundaries? Let's find out. Because in this video, I'm going to be addressing the panic and the frustration by talking about five reasons that your boundaries aren't working and what you can do about it. 

Welcome back, my friend, to another edition of the Building Faith podcast. I’m your host, Kris Reece and it is my mission as always to provide you with Biblical solutions to Life's tough challenges. You don't understand, boundaries don't work with my mother! You just don't get it! My husband…. I will not tolerate boundaries. My friend, I hear this remark all the time. Maybe it's a manipulative mother, an obnoxious boss, or whoever it is that you've likely reached your breaking point and you realized that you need boundaries. You finally realize, “I need boundaries with this person.” So, you set out with apprehension in one hand and some disgust in the other and you declare your NO, only to get met with a variety of reactions ranging from rage to the silent treatment. What went wrong? Maybe you're thinking that boundaries are hopeless. Boundaries are necessary for every relationship. Yes, even healthy ones! Even Jesus had boundaries. So before you give in and give up, let's talk about five reasons that your boundaries aren't working and what we can do to fix them. 

 if you need help setting boundaries with a toxic family, I want you to check out my new course called Biblical Boundaries with Toxic Family. Go ahead and click the link in the description section below.

Are you struggling with toxic people? Maybe it’s a stonewalling husband, a narcissistic mother, or an overbearing boss. Well, I want to invite you to grab a copy of our free Toxic People Survival Guide. 

In our Christian culture, where boundaries are shamed as hate, codependency is glorified as love, and entitlement is disguised as faith. It's no wonder that so many Christians, find themselves in toxic unGodly relationships for fear of disappointing God simply for setting boundaries. But do we have it all wrong? 

Our boundaries actually, something that God not only supports, but encourages his people to have or did God create you to be a doormat? 

In today's video, I'm going to share with you 10 scriptures  that clearly show that God wants you to have boundaries and you will never again have an issue saying, no, after you see this and why you should pay particular attention to number 10, because it might surprise you. 

I have been teaching on biblical boundaries for a very long time. And I am encouraged by the countless messages from people that it is been helping. But I frequently get blasted by email or on social media, for a teaching, such an unbelievable concept, and people say, how dare you encourage people to hate others, they'll say that you're turning children away from their mothers. I still say that doesn't Jesus tell us to turn the other cheek and a whole host of other culturally acceptable but completely on Biblical teaching about how we are to love others.

Check out my new online course called Biblical Boundaries with Toxic Family. 

One Church to the next, I would search for the most charismatic environment I could find because I longed for the spirit of God, I would wait online for hours, just for Word to be spoken over me. I would pray endlessly for a powerful move of God to overtake every fiber of my being, I was a woman on fire for God or so I thought. 

I went to a conference many years ago and the purpose of this conference for me. Anyway was to experience a powerful move of God. And at the time, I needed guidance and direction and I was hoping for a miracle I went with expectation because that's what faith does, right? But what I realized was that I was making this relationship with God all about me. Yes, I would worship God through song but the truth was, I was more about what I could get than what I could give. And I looked around at hundreds of people who were truly looking like, they were trying to conjure up the presence of God. It was almost like some Voodoo experience and emotions were high as the music pounded through our soul. And it was at that moment that I realized, This is exhausting. And I didn't mean it in a way where I'm not willing to spend my energy for God's glory. I mean, it in a way where it was emotionally draining in such a way that it made me wonder. Is this what God even really wants? 

If you are struggling in your faith or you want to grow in your faith, I want to invite you to join us for a Free Five-day Mountain Moving Faith devotional, it is my gift to you because I believe that you to my friend have Mountain Moving faith.