Breaking the Grip - Finding Faith and Freedom from Toxic People

In our Christian culture, where boundaries are shamed as hate, codependency is glorified as love, and entitlement is disguised as faith. It's no wonder that so many Christians, find themselves in toxic unGodly relationships for fear of disappointing God simply for setting boundaries. But do we have it all wrong? 

Our boundaries actually, something that God not only supports, but encourages his people to have or did God create you to be a doormat? 

In today's video, I'm going to share with you 10 scriptures  that clearly show that God wants you to have boundaries and you will never again have an issue saying, no, after you see this and why you should pay particular attention to number 10, because it might surprise you. 

I have been teaching on biblical boundaries for a very long time. And I am encouraged by the countless messages from people that it is been helping. But I frequently get blasted by email or on social media, for a teaching, such an unbelievable concept, and people say, how dare you encourage people to hate others, they'll say that you're turning children away from their mothers. I still say that doesn't Jesus tell us to turn the other cheek and a whole host of other culturally acceptable but completely on Biblical teaching about how we are to love others.

Check out my new online course called Biblical Boundaries with Toxic Family. 

One Church to the next, I would search for the most charismatic environment I could find because I longed for the spirit of God, I would wait online for hours, just for Word to be spoken over me. I would pray endlessly for a powerful move of God to overtake every fiber of my being, I was a woman on fire for God or so I thought. 

I went to a conference many years ago and the purpose of this conference for me. Anyway was to experience a powerful move of God. And at the time, I needed guidance and direction and I was hoping for a miracle I went with expectation because that's what faith does, right? But what I realized was that I was making this relationship with God all about me. Yes, I would worship God through song but the truth was, I was more about what I could get than what I could give. And I looked around at hundreds of people who were truly looking like, they were trying to conjure up the presence of God. It was almost like some Voodoo experience and emotions were high as the music pounded through our soul. And it was at that moment that I realized, This is exhausting. And I didn't mean it in a way where I'm not willing to spend my energy for God's glory. I mean, it in a way where it was emotionally draining in such a way that it made me wonder. Is this what God even really wants? 

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Imagine living your life in constant fear, never knowing how, or when you're going to be blamed, for just being you. Stomach, is always in knots, you'll watch your every word you'd give anything to be able to just relax. All you want to do is live in peace but you can't seem to escape this toxic person. No, no, not because your barricaded or in bondage, but simply because you were born. 

Now, imagine that toxic person is your own mother. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that you just couldn't share vulnerable information or connect on a genuine level and maybe you weren't able to put your finger on it, but you felt like something was just off. I just can't seem to trust this person and see if people aren't able to join you in the joys of life and or the struggles. 

Unsafe people have a way of making you feel fearful and foolish for having confided in them and it's hard enough, dealing with unsafe people in friendships and romantic partners. But what do you do when it's your own mother? If interactions with your own mother leave you scratching your head or pull your hair out, it might be, that mom is more toxic than your thought. 

So today, let's talk about five signs that God is showing you that your mother isn't safe.

I have included a link to Faithful Counseling to help you find a counselor that works best for you. Faithful Counseling is a network of counselors all across the United States and when you call you going to be paired with the best one for you. And if you use the link above, you will actually receive a 10% discount off of your first month’s counseling. And if you would like help on healing from a toxic mother, I want to invite you to check out my Heal from a Toxic Mother course it is designed to help you restore your life through faith or if you’re saying, I need better boundaries to be able to handle myself around my mother. We have a new course that is launching it is a Toxic Mother Survival Course it is the Christian’s guide to dealing with your toxic mother Biblically. 

The mother daughter relationship should be one marked by nurture, love, support and proper correction. Sadly for many women, their relationship with mom is marked by dysfunction, blame, self-centeredness, and manipulation.

It’s difficult to hug a porcupine, even when she’s your mother.

And if you’re being honest, there’s no other relationship where you would tolerate such behavior.

Over the years, I’ve seen more women negatively affected by toxic mothers more than any other life issue. And nearly every time, I witness these loving women hoping their manipulative mothers will miraculously change IF they could just do enough, be enough, and explain enough.

This never works. 

Instead of focusing on trying to love your mother enough that she magically transforms in to a marvelous mom, or continuing your relentless attempts at pleasing her, it may be time to learn how to set boundaries with her. 

Let’s talk today about four crucial keys to setting biblical boundaries with a manipulative mother. 

FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Biblical Boundaries with Toxic Family Online Course
https://krisreece.com/biblical-boundaries-with-toxic-family/

How to Heal from a Toxic Mother- Restoring Your Life Through Faith Online Course
https://krisreece.com/how-to-heal-from-a-toxic-mother/

In this episode we talk about when to stay and when to walk away from a toxic mother and how to do it biblically.

Leaving a relationship is never easy and the decision should not be taken lightly, but we have necessary relationship endings all the time, friends, coworkers, even churches. But what do you do when you have to consider walking away from your own mother? Some people have a great relationship with their mother, a wonderful adult relationship that is built upon, mutual love and respect. But some others didn't get the memo that you're not a child anymore who needs to obey her every command, therefore creating a terrible strain on the relationship, only to have it turned back on the adult child, as the source of the problem. 

All relationships take work. There's a difference between personality differences, growth trap challenges and your toxicity. Toxic relationships are defined by one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked or even avoided. It's one that leaves you feeling worse rather than better over time, and it's not marked by a few difficult interactions, but rather a blatant ignorance of the dynamics of a healthy relationship. In other words, toxic people are not safe and there may be physical abuse taking place, but if there are such things as manipulation, guilt, selfishness, gaslighting and disregard, my friend, you are likely dealing with levels of toxicity.

FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Building Faith Podcast from Kris Reece Ministries is a podcast to provide biblical solutions to life's tough challenges.

The enemy loves to attack you with lies that are grounded in some truth and let's face it full of lies are easy to spot, but the lies that come wrapped and reasoning with those leave plenty of room for entertainment. What makes a person go from a tiny thought to a full-on torment? 

In 1st Samuel 19:9 it reads. “then a harmful Spirit from the Lord came upon Saul as he sat in his house with his spear in his hand and David was playing the lyre.” 

Upon first glance you might think, awe poor Saul, he had no choice. God sent a harmful Spirit upon him, so it really wasn't his fault. And this is where you'd be right, but wrong, mostly wrong and here's what I mean. The Lord does not just send tormenting spirits to someone. He allows them when they've been given access and this spirit that the Lord sent was not passive, you see Saul was entertaining thoughts of hatred and murder. He was jealous of David and he wanted him dead and if you read the book of 1st Samuel, I can't imagine what kind of thoughts, that Saul gave life to as he sat there and stood over his feelings regarding David and these thoughts and feelings were cultivated and ruminated so much that they grew into a full-blown murder attempt. 

And you see, it wasn't that Saul had all of these thoughts because of the tormenting Spirit. Saul’s mind was filled with anger, bitter, jealousy, rage towards David and God gave him over to those tormenting thoughts and a similar example can be found in Romans 1:28 where we're reminded “and since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what they ought not be done.”

God didn't give them a debased mind. He gave them over to the mind that they had given in to my friend, everything begins in the mind, and you may not be looking to murder someone or throw a spear at your younger competition. But if you are entertaining, angry, hateful, thoughts in your head, Jesus says it’s the same thing. If you're entertaining, lustful thoughts, envious thoughts are any kind of thought that is not pleasing to the Lord you are opening your mind to Satan and inviting him in for complete access. 

You are opening your mind, now once in Satan can have full rein, he can have a field day and he's not stupid. He will seek to slip in covertly little by little as much as he wants to destroy your life and your testimony in a split-second, even Satan has more sense and self-control than to bombard you, he knows that there's a strong possibility that if he pushes too hard, you'll fall to your knees. Instead, he keeps a gentle and steady flow of negative, fearful destructive, bitter, envious thoughts, dripping through to you like a lifeline and all he needs you to do is mildly entertaining them. You don't even have to have a full acceptance of them. So long as you're not completely rejecting them, he still now has access so long as you justify your feelings and saying things like how you would feel the same way if, or you would have, you have no idea what she's done to me. So long as you're justifying, your thoughts saying things like, if I don't do this then he'll get over on me or saying things like what if God doesn't come in and take care of this situation. 

How Toxic are My Thoughts? FREE Quiz
 https://krisreece.com/toxic-thoughts-assessment-2/

Renew Your Mind Online Course
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Delivered from Demonic Influence Online Course
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In today's episode we talk about the 7 1/2 signs that show you are a lazy Christian.

Christianity is not a spectator sport. There are no rewards or passes for spiritual laziness. It requires diligence perseverance and growth, but sometimes, it can feel like an uphill battle. Yes, God will supply all of your needs. Yes, you are saved by grace through faith, but a believer can become idle. If he or she believes that God doesn't expect him to produce fruit. 

In fact, the Bible has a lot to say about laziness and its ramifications pay.

Proverbs 13:4 reminds us that “the soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.”

And I know your desire is to love the Lord with your whole heart that you may be spiritually, comatose. So, let's talk today about the seven and a half, unsuspecting signs that you are lazy Christian.

Now, please note that the signs that I'm referring to are representative of a long-term pattern, not a short-term problem. Each one of us even the most devout Christian will endure these signs at some point during their walk, but the problem comes when the solutions for our short-term problems now, become long-term patterns. 

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In this episode, we talk about the 3 imperative steps that you need to take to answer the call of God on your life.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, “Why am I here?”  No, I don't mean while you're in a certain geographical area or even a certain point in your life. I mean, why are you here on this Earth? What is God's purpose for you? 

My hope today is to talk to you about how to answer the call of God on your life. And we hear a lot about living the abundant life and loving others, but as Christians, our aim should be more than just happiness, it should be to live a life of purpose for our King. And when your life has purpose, it drives your every decision, it guides your every step. When your life has purpose it’s no longer about superficial satisfactions and more about the goal of hearing those wonderful words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”  

I spent a good part of my life wasting. I wasted my time, my talents, my money, my resources, you name it. If I had it, I squandered it and it wasn't until I came to a place where I truly understood that I was a Christian and life, wasn't my own. And while I don't have to earn my salvation, there was too high of a price that was paid for me to not spend my life living for his glory. And my friend, I hope you feel the same way. 

FREE Uncover Your God-Given Purpose Guide
http://krisreece.com/purpose

Building Faith Podcast from Kris Reece Ministries is a podcast to provide biblical solutions to life's tough challenges.

Toxic relationships are infectious disease, people poison you from the inside out with their gaslighting, manipulation,  and constant drama. And many years ago, I ran into an old boyfriend at the mall and I stopped to do the niceties, “Good to see you. I hope you're doing well.” 

You know, the drill and I was very careful to not say, or do anything with that would engage him any longer than need to be. And just, as I was walking away, he looked me straight in the eyes with the same piercing look that he would give me when he was trying to manipulate me, and he said this, “Do you ever wonder?” And I knew what he was asking. If you wanted to find out if I missed him, and in the past, I would get sucked back into that relationship with him with his romantic questions and his dramatic dreams. 

But I was a long past that, at this point, so I played his game and I repeated his question, back to him, “Do I ever wonder?” I answered,  Yes,  Yes. I do. I wondered what on Earth was going on inside of me to put up with such a lying, manipulative person. I wondered how pathetic that I have to be to take the scraps that you offered me and call that a relationship. I wondered how sad I was to settle for someone who only cared about himself. So, yeah, I've wondered. 

FREE Uncover Your God-Given Purpose Guide
http://krisreece.com/purpose

In this episode, we talk about the 5 signs that God is preparing you for ministry.

Have you ever pondered what God wants you to do with your life? Perhaps you've even considered getting into ministry full time, but you just not sure if that's God's plan for your life. Well if you long to be used in a mighty way for his kingdom, one of the most satisfying yet demanding profession is in Christian Ministry. 

So today, I want to talk to you about the five signs that God is preparing you for ministry. 

First, let me say that, if you are a Christian, you are already in ministry. Every believer has the Biblical mandate to go and make disciples and proclaim the gospel to others. You can find that in Matthew 28:19 and whether you're on the mission field, in the ministry or in the marketplace, we are all in full-time ministry.

FREE Uncover Your God-Given Purpose Guide
http://krisreece.com/purpose

Building Faith Podcast from Kris Reece Ministries is a podcast to provide biblical solutions to life's tough challenges.