Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

For the first time, I'm offering support to husbands in my Wanting It More program, and I'm learning a lot about why men find it hard to understand (and even believe) their wife's low desire for sex compared to their own. This is especially true when women haven't been honest about what they enjoy (and especially about what they don't enjoy) in the bedroom.

In this episode, I'm sharing real examples of what men say they’re learning about how their wife's sexual desire works and how using these new concepts are making their marriage stronger.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

The examples we're shown of sex in movies and tv are ridiculous! I'm here to tell you that's not what real sex looks or sounds like (these are actors acting after all).

Are you curious to know what connected sex actually looks like? In my Wanting It More program, I get vulnerable and share my own sexual experience with my program participants to help them understand a new way of conducting an intimate experience based on their specific needs. I mean, where else are you going to learn this stuff?

In this episode, I share a hypothetical example of what one of my own sexual experiences might look like. My hope is that you'll begin to understand there's an entirely different way of increasing your sexual interest by using vulnerability, consent, boundaries, and honest communication.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

We're missing out on true joy and connection with our partners and ourselves when we focus on the formulaic goals of sex. It's not all about orgasm! It's about getting curious to create and follow your own rules for your sexual wellness. 

Laura and I chat about some of my best tips for creating a non-goal-oriented and mindful sexual connection.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

I challenge a lot of what society teaches men and women about sex, and sometimes husbands have a hard time with my content. I've been bullied, threatened, and personally attacked online by men who are struggling to see their important role in helping their wives feel more comfortable in the bedroom.  

That's why I was pleasantly surprised when Charles reached out to me on Instagram to share how the podcast was helping him in his relationship with his wife (without her involvement in my program or content). So, I invited him onto the podcast to explore what his journey has looked like. He talks about reevaluating the religious and cultural messages about sex he received growing up and the confusion they created in his life, as well as his long battle with pornography addiction and the decades of turmoil it caused in his relationship.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Partner betrayal is SO complex compared to other forms of trauma. The lying, manipulation, scapegoating and gaslighting create a cycle of shame of wanting to simultaneously connect and disconnect from a cheating partner.  My husband of 14 years admitted to a porn addiction that I was unaware of (after years in therapy/coaching trying to fix my "low libido"). 

When I came across the work of Michelle Mays on YouTube after one late night of desperate Googling, I knew I had to have her on the podcast. If you've had this experience, I hope this episode brings you validation, relief, and hope.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

My podcast guest this week, Joy, shared that when she first started her relationship (at 17!), she was expecting they would be that disgustingly in-love couple with constant PDA, but that's not what happened.  In fact, despite having a supportive, loving, and fun relationship, she quickly found that her fear of getting pregnant turned into the discomfort of having or talking about sex altogether. 

When Joy joined my Wanting It More program, they hadn't shared a sexual experience in almost 20 years.  I hope you enjoy our conversation. Remember, it's never, ever too late to make the change you've been wanting to in your sex life.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

As a husband, are you confused about why non-sexual intimacy (like playful touch and general affection) and physical intimacy have dwindled in your marriage?  

In this follow-up to Episode 43, I get to chat with Thia's husband, Eugene, about the pressure and personal responsibility he felt to fix their sex life and the many changes he tried that didn’t work. 

Since taking the Wanting It More program together, he's now aware of his many misconceptions about sexual intimacy in marriage. Listen as he describes his new role in supporting his wife in a way that works for them both.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Thia and Eugene are a couple from South Africa who are currently living in the UK with three children. After waiting to have sex until their wedding night and having some positive experiences early on, their intimate life started to dwindle.

Thia wasn't sure if she was even able to have an orgasm (it can be hard to tell!) and Eugene was running out of ways to help his wife enjoy the experience.  Their sex life was becoming infrequent, routine and obligatory.

After taking Wanting It More, they've discovered a whole new playful, intimate, fun, and enjoyable sex life which is a delight to hear about (yes, they both go into very helpful detail in their separate episodes.)

These conversations are sure to warm your heart as they did mine. Don't miss my conversation with Eugene in follow-up Episode 44.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Amber spent years searching for help for her low sexual desire with no answers. She spoke to her university counsellor, her mom, read books and sought help from her church. 

In a moment of desperation she reached out to her physician and was given this response: "Look, it's just one of those things. You simply have to do it. It'll make him a better husband and father."  

I can personally relate to this lonely experience. I searched for years for answers to my low sex drive from similar sources as Amber- books, workshops, therapists, and doctors and found nothing that helped me in the long term.  Thankfully, Amber's story has a happy ending but my heart breaks for the hundreds of thousands of women out there who are searching for a solution and finding nothing except, "Just do it, it's good for your marriage." 

There is a better answer to help women experiencing low libido and I'll hope you'll listen to find out what it is.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

In this follow-up conversation to Episode 40, I talk with Erin's husband Rob about his ‘old ways’ of thinking about sex and how his views have drastically transformed since taking Wanting It More.  

Learning about my concepts of safety in the bedroom originally floored him, but incorporating these vital ideas has ultimately made all the difference in their marriage and sexual relationship.   

If you're confused about what safety in the bedroom means, I hope you'll have a listen to a man's perspective on the subject.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.