Pillow Talks

E223: Sex After Baby: Postpartum Sex, Intimacy & Desire


Listen Later

The postpartum stage can be one of the hardest (and least talked about) seasons a couple will ever go through.

Your relationship changes. Your body changes. Your sex life changes.

And with all of that comes a swirl of feelings you might not have expected:

  • Resentment toward your partner

  • A crushing imbalance in the mental load

  • Feeling “touched out” 24/7

  • Nervousness (or fear) about having sex again

  • Worries about your body never feeling — or looking — the same

  • The awkward, elephant-in-the-room disconnection that can build over months

    In this episode, we’re answering YOUR most personal, vulnerable questions about intimacy and connection after having kids — from being scared to get pregnant again, to changes in sensation, to finding your spark when you feel more like co-managers than romantic partners.


    💛 Here’s what we’re covering:

    • Why being “cleared” for sex at 6 weeks doesn’t mean you have to be ready

    • How to break the silence when it’s been months (or longer) since you’ve been intimate

    • What to do if sex is painful after a tear or complicated delivery

    • Navigating body image, “too loose” worries, and changes in arousal triggers

    • How to reconnect when parenting has taken over every ounce of energy

    • Advice for partners who struggle to see their spouse sexually after birth

    • The most powerful way a partner can make a new mom feel truly seen, appreciated, and desired

      Whether you’re weeks postpartum or years down the road, this conversation is a reminder that you’re not broken, you’re not alone, and you can find your way back to each other.


      👩‍👩‍👧 Raise safe, smart & shame-free kids — and build a lifetime of trust so you’re the one they turn to.

      From “Where do babies come from?” to “What does 69 mean?” 😳, Beyond the Birds & the Bees gives you the exact words to say in just 5–7 minutes per topic.

      A complete digital parenting tool-kit. Think bite-sized, age-by-age audio guides and real-life scripts make even the trickiest conversations easier — so your kids learn about sex, consent, identity, and relationships from you, not TikTok.


      Start today ➡️ https://vmtherapy.com/kids


      🎧 Stay connected

      📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander

      💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns.

      Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe

      🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods!

      ==========================
      THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
      ==========================
      👏Thanks Live It Up. Use code PILLOW for 15% off your first Super Greens order! ➡︎https://letsliveitup.com/pillow
      👏Thanks Lola Blankets. Use code PILLOW and get 35% off your entire order. Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets.➡︎https://lolablankets.com/
      👏Thanks Hungryroot. Use code PILLOW to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.  ➡︎https://hungryroot.com/pillow
      👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOWTALKS for 40% off! And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, make sure to let them know you heard about Cozy Earth right here! ➡︎https://cozyearth.com/

      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

      ...more
      View all episodesView all episodes
      Download on the App Store

      Pillow TalksBy Vanessa & Xander Marin | QCODE

      • 4.9
      • 4.9
      • 4.9
      • 4.9
      • 4.9

      4.9

      2,411 ratings


      More shows like Pillow Talks

      View all
      Sex With Emily by Dr. Emily Morse

      Sex With Emily

      6,766 Listeners

      ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show by Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo

      ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

      1,757 Listeners

      Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy by Cloud10

      Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

      1,972 Listeners

      Sexology by Dr. Nazanin Moali, Ph.D, Psychology of Sex | Couple Therapy | Sex Education

      Sexology

      420 Listeners

      The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice by Sean Jameson

      The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice

      867 Listeners

      Shameless Sex by Amy Baldwin and April Lampert| Pleasure Podcasts

      Shameless Sex

      3,007 Listeners

      Orgasmic Enlightenment with Kim Anami by Kim Anami

      Orgasmic Enlightenment with Kim Anami

      1,473 Listeners

      Sex and Psychology Podcast by Dr. Justin Lehmiller

      Sex and Psychology Podcast

      291 Listeners

      Honeydew Me by Emma Norman & Cass Anderson

      Honeydew Me

      530 Listeners

      Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell by Dan Purcell | Sex & Intimacy Coach | Christian Husband

      Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

      230 Listeners

      That's Orgasmic with Sexologist Emily Duncan by Emily Duncan

      That's Orgasmic with Sexologist Emily Duncan

      107 Listeners

      The Horny Housewife by Jordyn Hakes | Pleasure Podcasts

      The Horny Housewife

      1,519 Listeners

      The Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD by Alexandra Stockwell, MD

      The Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD

      153 Listeners

      The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

      The Mel Robbins Podcast

      20,216 Listeners

      Girls Gone Deep by Elle and Vee

      Girls Gone Deep

      238 Listeners