Pillow Talks

E235: How Your Phone Is Secretly Sabotaging Your Connection (and what to do about it)


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What if the biggest barrier to intimacy in your relationship isn’t stress, exhaustion, or mismatched libidos… but your phone?

In this week’s episode, we’re trying something that might feel a little controversial (and honestly, uncomfortable): no screens before sex.

Yep — for seven days, we challenged ourselves to put down the devices before any kind of intimacy, whether that meant sex, cuddling, or even a deep conversation. And let’s just say… it revealed a lot about how much tech gets in the way of connection.


💛 In this episode, you’ll hear:

  • The surprising ways phone use impacts intimacy (and resentment)

  • What couples told us about their biggest “phone fights”

  • Our rules for a 7-day tech detox (and how to adapt if you have kids)

  • What happened when we actually followed them

  • How to create healthier phone boundaries — without starting a fight

    If you’ve ever caught yourself scrolling mid-conversation or noticed your partner reaching for their phone after sex, this one’s for you.

    Because here’s the truth: your relationship with your phone might be hurting your relationship with each other way more than you think.


    Ready to reconnect?

    Take our free Intimacy Quiz to uncover what’s missing (and how to get it back).

    Discover your intimacy type and get personalized tools to help you communicate better, desire more, and feel closer than ever.

    👉 Take the quiz now and unlock your results: https://vmtherapy.com/5keys


    Stay connected

    📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander

    💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe

    🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!








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    Pillow TalksBy Vanessa & Xander Marin | QCODE

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