UNDERSTANDABLE

E252 - Limerence & Neediness: 6 Signs, You Use Romantic Obsession To Self-Regulate


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Do you fall in love often and then build a bright future fantasy with people you usually barely know, become super needy and clingy right in the beginning?
Then chances are high, that this bright fantasy that you build also comforts and excites you.
But did you know that what you’re experiencing here is actually not love?
Did you know that people with childhood trauma regularly use romantic obsession as a tool to self-regulate and cope with their pain from the past?
Well then today, I have 6 eye-opening signs, that you may be using limerence and the fantasy with another person as a way to re-regulate yourself.
How this can work and what you can do about it, we’ll find out in today’s video.
► Links and Resources:
10 Common Symptoms of Childhood Trauma Episode: https://youtu.be/5VwTxkjO5Ak?si=0IrKBw3gcDDryTSu
Fear of Commitment Episode: https://youtu.be/Xf1iuvoO0lM?si=geY5sdZACPGmWVEZ
Limerence Episode: https://youtu.be/gDz8U2zaF0A
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Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
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► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:44 What Is Limerence?
04:32 Limerence & Neediness
07:39 Sign 1: You Feel Anxiety And Panic, That In Reality, The Other Person (Limerent Object) Is Different From Your Fantasy
12:40 Sign 2: Your Intensity Of Limerence Varies, Depending On Your Phase In Life
14:26 Sign 3: Your Sense Of Self Worth & Purpose Revolves Around The Limerent Object
17:17 Sign 4: You Feel Anxiety Or Panic, When The Limerent Object Is Out Of Reach
19:19 Sign 5: You Prefer Spending Time Thinking About The Limerent Person, Than Actually Spending Time With Them
20:44 Sign 6: Your Romantic Obsession On Another Person Is A Substitute For True Connection And Intimacy
21:40 Solutions
24:53 Final Thoughts
► Reach Out To Me :)
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about CPTSD & attachment theory for highly sensitive & neurodivergent people.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

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UNDERSTANDABLEBy Robert Siegers

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