Boundaries aren't walls to keep people out - they're your foundation for freedom, and most people get this completely wrong. Growing up in chaos teaches your nervous system that disappointing someone equals death, making you a gold medal people pleaser who manages everyone else's emotions while ignoring your own. Traditional boundary advice like "just say no" fails because it treats complex trauma responses like simple choices. Real boundary work starts with internal boundaries - learning to sit with discomfort instead of people-pleasing your way out, recognizing when you abandon yourself, and understanding that your anxiety might be your soul screaming for you to stop treating yourself like nothing.

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Nikki and Chris dive into their transformative experience at Emily Schromm's The Challenge Retreat Season 2, a wellness adventure in California’s stunning Teravana ranch, where they tackle grueling physical challenges and unexpected emotional breakthroughs. Despite personal grief and burnout, they push through steep hill races and puzzles, discovering resilience they didn’t know they had. Nikki’s horse therapy session sparks a vision for future retreats, with possible Donkey's, while Chris confronts childhood money fears through new investment strategies. Their raw reflections on boundaries, from rehoming pets to navigating relationships, inspire us to embrace discomfort for growth. Curious about Chris's fourth-place finish? Check Emily Schromm’s site for more.

The Challenge Retreat Season 2:
https://www.emilyschromm.com/retreat

🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Violence like Charlie Kirk’s assassination or the recent Evergreen school shooting hits hard, especially for sensitive souls, but you can shield your nervous system from trauma’s grip. Talk out the details with trusted people to release the tension—your brain’s snapshot isn’t meant to haunt you, it’s trying to keep you safe. Write it out, don’t chase drama’s addictive rush, and refuse to globalize horror into hopelessness. Send prayers or intentions for healing, even for those you disagree with, to reclaim peace. Honor life’s brevity by choosing resilience over fragility, and let nightmares process without fighting them. Be the tolerance and strength you crave in a chaotic world.

🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Most empaths and highly sensitive people get labeled as stubborn, but this trait might actually be a superpower. Stubbornness gets reframed from negative to positive, examining how HSPs develop this quality as protection in invalidating environments. Narcissistic parents view stubborn children as threats, creating shame around boundaries and independent thinking. Childhood stubbornness often masks deeper needs like safety that adults miss. Positive stubbornness becomes tenacity, authenticity, and leadership backbone for breaking cycles and maintaining values.

🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Chris shares the raw reality of losing his father suddenly at 72 and how grief reveals the power of positive masculinity. Traditional masculine norms taught men to suppress emotions and avoid vulnerability, but this episode demonstrates a different path by processing pain rather than bottling it up. The discussion covers how an older generation was conditioned to never seek therapy or discuss problems, leading emotions to emerge sideways. The intense three-day Italian Catholic funeral process is described and how forcing through the full mourning ritual actually helped move grief through the system faster. There's discussion of a mysterious final phone call from his father exactly 30 days before his death, when they had no cell service in the mountains where his dad asked them to find a spot for his ashes. The conversation explores how losing a parent forces psychological maturation and how embracing both sadness and positivity creates authentic emotional processing rather than toxic positivity.

🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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The term "daddy issues" points to what happens when you don't get healthy fathering. A good father figure provides grounding and stability - like being the kite string that keeps you tethered while you soar. They teach protection through boundaries, not control, and help you learn the difference between genuine care and manipulation. Healthy fathers mirror back your strength and identity, offer direction without forcing their views, and model accountability by showing that strength and vulnerability go together. Their approval is foundational, not conditional - you don't have to earn love through people-pleasing. Eventually, they bless your independence instead of trying to keep you small. When you miss out on this kind of fathering, you can end up defensive, approval-seeking, or struggling with boundaries. The healing work means learning to reparent yourself and give yourself what you didn't get.

🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Self-betrayal starts in childhood when trauma teaches you to ignore what your gut is telling you and go straight into overthinking mode just to survive. Your intuition isn't something you think about - it's something you feel deep in your center, quiet and calm, while anxiety creates this crazy mental chaos that spins you out. As kids, trauma survivors had to shut down their inner knowing to avoid getting hurt worse, which creates these lifelong habits of people-pleasing and abandoning yourself. Healing is about giving yourself permission to trust your gut again and act on it, even when it makes other people uncomfortable. You need safe relationships to help your intuition grow back - toxic people just shut it down. Trauma also disconnects you from your body, which is actually a huge part of how you receive intuitive messages. Good boundaries keep the drama out so you can actually hear what your inner wisdom is trying to tell you.

🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this heartfelt episode, we're navigating grief after the sudden loss of my father-in-law, Chris's dad; George. We revisit a throwback discussion on the five stages of grief - denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance - but with a deeper understanding of how these stages work. Grief doesn't follow a neat checklist and we often move back and forth between stages. The episode breaks down how denial acts as a protective buffer, why anger surfaces when we feel powerless, and how depression weighs us down. There is a bargaining phase where we try to make deals with the universe, and ultimately reach acceptance by letting go of the fight against what we cannot control. As well as some practical ways to process grief, like writing and speaking aloud, plus a meaningful candle ritual for releasing what we've lost and embracing hope for moving forward.

🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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If you grew up with narcissistic or emotionally immature parents, you know the frustration of having all the head knowledge about healing but struggling to actually feel calm in your body. This episode explains why you learned to dissociate and live in your head as a survival mechanism during childhood trauma. We dive into how children of narcissistic parents take on too much responsibility and develop an inner adolescent part that resists guidance and change. Through practical breathing exercises, you experience what it means to get out of your head and into your body, connecting with your wise adult self rather than letting that defensive inner adolescent drive your life.

🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

💖 PATREON:

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Happy 400th Episode!!! I sit down with Chris to talk about the fascinating connection between stage fright and sensitivity. So many of us carry this primal fear of being watched, and it can trigger deep nervous system responses that we don’t always understand. Chris shares his journey from doing magic tricks in kindergarten to performing on stage thousands of times, and how setting boundaries with fear helped him let go of performance anxiety. We get into the science—mirror neurons, sensitivity, and how our bodies can pick up and mirror other people's nervous systems. I share how being around Chris’s calm energy helped me build the confidence I needed to start podcasting.
And in our “Good for the Soul” segment, we share the small, simple things that have been helping us feel grounded and nourished lately. Chris describes his latest passion for homemade sausage making, while I talk about discovering authentic sourdough bread that doesn't trigger my usual digestive issues. This segment reflects our belief that mental health includes nurturing all aspects of ourselves, from creative pursuits to simple pleasures that feed our souls.

🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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