Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery

The fellas discuss the role of anger in emotional sobriety. We also read a thoughtful email from one of our Australian listers, about holding onto ourselves in toxic families of origin.

To listen to pitches from, Allen, Joe Chisholm, and others from their recent ICSAA conference in Orlando, FL:

aasecular.org

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/

Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626

Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/

Follow us on social media.

Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST

Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

On the journey towards forgiving others, we can’t bypass our grief. Thom, Patrick, and Tom Potash discuss both processing and letting go of grievance, focusing today on our families of origin. One way of looking at forgiveness is as our natural state when we aren’t holding onto old pain.

Tom Potash found his earliest inkling of what forgiving his mother could mean for his emotional sobriety in the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

To listen to pitches from, Allen, Joe Chisholm, and others from last week’s ICSAA conference in Orlando:

aasecular.org

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/

Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626

Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/

Follow us on social media.

Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST

Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Allen Berger and Joe Chisholm check in from this year’s ICSAA conference in Orlando, Florida, to relay an anecdote from one of the speakers: “we aren’t all egomaniacs!” When we aren’t seen by our fellows, it creates an injury to our self-esteem. As we develop more differentiation (emotional sobriety), it becomes easier to not allow other people’s comments to define us. Until such time, the group conscience should look out for each other, practicing empathy and sensitivity. After all, the business of recovery is lifting other people up, so we don’t only survive but thrive. Another important takeaway from this secular conference: militant atheism can be just as toxic as militant theism.

Once the conference is wrapped, listen to pitches from, Allen, Joe, and others:

aasecular.org

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/

Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626

Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/

Follow us on social media.

Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST

Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Allen, Thom, and Patrick read from the AA Grapevine again and reflect on the story of someone in recovery from addiction who suffered traumatic brain injury. Emotional Sobriety promises more than just a sober stasis. True freedom is possible as we transition away from "okay if" towards "okay even if" framework for living our lives. 

To read today’s AA Grapevine article, “So Worth Living,” access the .pdf at the following link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sYq85EFs-2cdwmlLb-rE2auB0bqQ_1tA/view?usp=sharing

Coming up for our Florida or travel-happy listeners is the International Conference of Secular AA (ICSAA) in Orlando, FL, September 20-22nd, where Allen Berger, Joe C. and other luminaries will be speaking. More info at the following link: https://www.aasecular.org/icsaa2024

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/

Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626

Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/

Follow us on social media.

Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST

Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

No matter our level of certainty about anything, emotional sobriety advises holding the truth in our hands but gripping it lightly. We find “rolling with the punches” to be much stronger survival mechanism than the inflexibility and ossification of a fixed position. This week, Allen and Thom talk more about perfectionism and freedom, which we define as having the possibility of a new experience at any given moment of our lives.

Coming up for our Florida or travel-happy listeners is the International Conference of Secular AA (ICSAA) in Orlando, FL, September 20-22nd, where Allen Berger, Joe C. and other luminaries will be speaking. More info at the following link: https://www.aasecular.org/icsaa2024

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/

Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626

Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/

Follow us on social media.

Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST

Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Our sagely Joe Chisholm returns for heartfelt conversation about the negative self-concepts that can undermine our recoveries. Experiences which are imprinted onto us at a young age become core beliefs about ourselves which mature into unhelpful distortions. Feelings of unworthiness and shame are just a couple Thom and Patrick explore this week. The work of becoming emotionally sober involves challenging these beliefs through staying present. How do we stay present? Through the development of a daily practice.

Coming up for our Florida or travel-happy listeners is the International Conference of Secular AA (ICSAA) in Orlando, FL, September 20-22nd, where Allen Berger, Joe C. and other luminaries will be speaking. More info at the following link: https://www.aasecular.org/icsaa2024

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/

Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626

Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/

Follow us on social media.

Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST

Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Howard Malitz returns to the pod to read and discuss another AA Grapevine article, which deals with the role of therapy, medication, and other mental health “outside help” that can unfortunately run into judgment and skepticism in certain rooms of recovery. A non-punitive attitude of openness, compassion, and encouragement towards “whatever works” keeps more people in the boat as we build the communities that sustain us.

Read a pdf of the AA Grapevine article we discussed in the episode, “When We Need Outside Help”: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1f-3EYLLZuB06G4IYhGdZlmTazew5yUt1/view?usp=sharing

Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/

Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/

Follow us on social media.

Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST

Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Author, psychologist and TEDx speaker Dr. Shawn Horn rejoins us to discuss her upcoming project about adults with ADHD, with particular focus on our nervous system’s role in our emotional experience. From there we read another article from the AA Grapevine, and speak further to how emotional sobriety can help us stay connected to each other and ourselves as we move through grief.

Read a pdf of the AA Grapevine article we discussed in the episode, “Accepting the Road Ahead”: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1D4-4km2J83TjCle-QmmVD3147hrL9KP0/view?usp=drive_link

Links to learn more about the phenomenal Dr. Shawn Horn:

Sign up for her newsletter to receive updates and resources. 

Webinars are launching; don’t miss them! 

Website: https://www.drshawnhorn.com 

Listen to the Inspired Living Podcast: 

https://feeds.simplecast.com/cuykCUfC 

Follow her on Social Media Here: 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/drshawnhorn 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/drshawnhorn 

Twitter: www.twitter.com/drshawnhorn 

Triller: @drshawnhorn 

Pinterest: @drshawnhorn 

LinkedIn: @drshawnhorn

Buy Christian Journal for Women with Anxiety: Prompts to Soothe Anxious Thoughts and Find Strength in Your Faith

Book Here:

https://a.co/d/dqJLbAr

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/

Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/

Follow us on social media.

Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST

Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Joe C. rejoins Allen and Thom this week, to discuss looking beyond what a person is saying to focus on what they’re experiencing. Modeling emotional sobriety tools in ever-growing circles (beyond our meetings and loved ones) into a world in need of good examples. Practicing emotional sobriety in environments where there's none, or very little.

“Listen now. When people talk listen completely. Don't be thinking what you're going to say.

Most people never listen. Nor do they observe.

You should be able to go into a room and when you come out know everything that you saw there and not only that. If that room gave you any feeling you should know exactly what it was that gave you that feeling. Try that for practice.

When you're in town stand outside the theatre and see how the people differ in the way they get out of taxis or motor cars. There are a thousands ways to practice. And always think of other people.”

-Ernest Hemingway

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/

Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/

Follow us on social media.

Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST

Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Allen, Thom, and Patrick discuss the challenge and opportunity in conducting their relationships in a manner appropriate to those relationships. We circle back to politics, where despite our differences we try to not lose our human connection and empathy for our fellows.

Read Thom’s “Therapy 4 Politics”: https://www.thomrutledge.com/therapy4politics

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/

Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/

Follow us on social media.

Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST

Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.