What if the struggles you face today are actually signs of childhood trauma you never knew you had? When we think of trauma, we often picture extreme events. But it’s possible that the persistent big emotions, the relentless perfectionism, or the constant people-pleasing you’ve experienced for years are actually signs of something deeper rooted in your past.

In this post, we’re going to uncover the hidden signs of childhood trauma that frequently manifest in adult life. These can include anxiety that never fades, the nagging feeling that you’re never good enough, or constantly overthinking relationships. You’ll learn the surprising ways unresolved trauma can affect your emotions, body, behavior, relationships, self-worth, and even your career. Most importantly, we’ll discuss how you can begin your healing journey with tools backed by psychology and compassion.

This isn’t about blame, nor is it meant to shame. Our goal is to empower you to understand *why* you feel the way you do. Perhaps that lingering grumpiness, the tendency to “fly off the handle,” or those dysregulated emotional eruptions have a reason beyond simply being “you.” Once you connect these dots, you can begin to break the cycle and start your healing today.

Many adults navigate significant challenges in their relationships, work, and overall emotional well-being without ever realizing these issues stem from their childhood. Our discussion aims to foster self-awareness and compassion for what you may be experiencing.

Childhood trauma isn’t limited to what we might call “Big T” traumas – severe events like a car accident, a house fire, or experiencing violent crime. While these are undoubtedly traumatic, many distressing experiences that happen to us as children can also constitute “small t” traumas. These might be sudden moments of abandonment when a parent wasn’t there when you needed them, even something as seemingly innocuous as getting lost in a supermarket. In such a moment, the child’s world, which they thought was safe and reliable, can feel shattered, even if no one was physically harmed and help eventually arrived. This experience, while not a “Big T” trauma, can still be deeply traumatic in how it’s experienced and stored.

A significant portion of trauma also stems from what are known as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). These come from extensive research and include a list of 10 specific experiences:

It’s estimated that about 47% of people have experienced at least one ACE, with roughly 10% having four or more. The more ACEs an individual has experienced, the higher the likelihood that the impacts will manifest as symptoms in their adult life.

This conversation matters because it helps reduce the shame often associated with these struggles. When you understand that there’s a reason for your current behaviors or emotional patterns, it lessens self-blame. Instead of thinking “there’s something wrong with me,” you can begin to say, “this is why I’m doing this.” Once you’re aware of the root, you can then take steps towards healing. It’s crucial to remember that we’re not here to blame anyone, especially for “small t” traumas that weren’t intentional but still had an impact. The focus is on self-awareness and empowerment.

Childhood trauma can manifest in various ways, often subtly weaving its way into our adult lives. Recognizing these signs is the first step towards healing.

Our bodies store trauma in the nervous system, even if our minds don’t consciously remember the events. This can manifest physically:

The impact of childhood trauma doesn’t just stay in the past; it reverberates through our adult lives, significantly affecting our relationships and daily functioning.

The good news is that healing is absolutely possible, and you are not broken beyond repair. Understanding your past is a powerful first step towards recovery.

Often, we haven’t told anyone our trauma story. While not everyone is equipped to hold your story with the sacred care it deserves, finding a safe, empathic listener is crucial. Someone who can genuinely say, “Man, that sucks,” or “I can’t imagine how hard that was for you,” can help you feel seen, validated, and heard. Being able to debrief and name your experiences in a safe space can significantly reduce the risk of PTSD and help resolve the trauma. For example, for years Caleb had recurring nightmares of being caught in public without pants. The memory of being a new kid in grade three, running late for gym class, and forgetting gym shorts – causing the whole class to laugh – was a small ‘t’ trauma that lived in the nervous system. Once this story was told to a safe person who validated the embarrassment, the nightmares stopped. Telling your story can be profoundly powerful.

Part of telling your story is letting go of the shame. When something feels shameful, we keep it secret. But acknowledging the impact trauma has had on you, and sharing it, helps release that shame. It’s vital to understand that trauma responses are not character flaws. There’s nothing “wrong” with you. These responses are often your body’s attempt to protect you or cope with overwhelming experiences, even if they’re unhelpful in the present. Embracing self-compassion for your body’s resilience and its attempts to cope or resolve itself is a key part of the healing process. Healing may be like peeling an onion. As you process one layer, another might emerge, but you don’t have to tackle everything at once. Healing takes time.

A significant understanding in the therapy world over recent years is that trauma cannot simply be “talked out” or “thought through” cognitively. Effective therapies generally involve safely and gently revisiting the experience, often from a more compassionate, mature perspective. This “bottom-up” processing allows the body and nervous system to process and consolidate memories, resolving the trauma so it no longer triggers big reactions or leaks into daily life.

Here are some evidence-based therapies proven effective for treating trauma:

When seeking a therapist, it’s highly recommended to ask about their specific trauma treatment modality. While many therapists are “trauma-informed,” meaning they understand trauma, you want someone who uses a specialized tool for treatment and resolution. Ask them to name an acronym you can research (like EMDR, SE, Brainspotting, EFIT, IFS, TF-CBT, DBT). Therapists often learn these specialized techniques after graduate school, as general education provides awareness but not specific treatment methods.

You are not broken, nor are you beyond repair. While you may feel wounded, healing is an innate capacity. Self-awareness is the key first step; once you recognize what’s happening, you can seek help and find healing. Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. It’s about today being a little better than yesterday, taking small, consistent steps. Your body will also let you know when the next layer of healing needs attention, bringing it to the surface when you’re ready.

If this discussion has resonated with you and you’re ready to explore healing, please feel free to reach out to our counseling agency. You can find more information on our trauma page at therapevo.com. We prioritize matching individuals with therapists on our team who have the specific skill set to meet their needs. If your situation requires expertise we don’t possess, we’ll gladly refer you to a specialist. For us, ensuring you receive the right treatment is paramount. We offer all our work via Zoom video calls, making support accessible wherever you are.