We’ve all heard the phrase, “You can’t change others. You can only change yourself.”

It’s really frustrating when the people we care about are behaving in self-defeating ways (especially with their health and well-being), and when we try to talk to them about it, we just make things worse.

Our guest today, Howie Jacobson, is here to tell you, you CAN change people - not by force, shame, or guilt - but by becoming a supportive ally.

You may know Howie as the long-time host of the Plant Yourself podcast, and he’s also the co-author of some groundbreaking books including Whole by T.Colin Campbell, Proteinaholic with Dr. Garth Davis, and Sick to Fit with Josh Lajaunie.

His most recent book, “You CAN Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Employees, Colleagues—Even Family—Up Their Game,” co-authored with Peter Bregman, outlines four steps to helping people change.

If you care about people around you who are eating poorly, not taking care of themselves, or not reaching their potential, Howie is here to help.

Episode Timestamps

11:22 People don’t resist change. They resist BEING changed.

12:55 What does it mean to really help people change their behavior?

“We can use techniques and approaches to allow people to make different decisions.”

14:05 Step 1: Shift from a Critic to an Ally - "I’m here to help you if you want my help." -empathize -express confidence in them -ask for permission

22:50 Be prepared for them to say, “No thanks.”

25:25 Step 2: Find the Positive Outcome - What would you like to happen? What would it look like?

31:30 Step 3: Find a Golden Opportunity - What can you do right now?

41:06 Step 4: What’s the Plan?

Episode Resources

Watch the Episode on YouTube

Episode Web Page

Order You Can Change People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game

Plant Yourself Podcast

Ask Howie - Business Coaching Website

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Theme Music for Episode

Promo Music: Your Love by Atch License: Creative Commons License - Attribution 3.0