What if your patterns didn’t define you, but showed you EXACTLY where you can grow?

Why do we keep choosing the same people—even when we know better?

If you’ve felt luckless, stuck, or so far away from the loving partnership you want in life, we’ve got the MOST expansive episode for you.

In this powerful conversation, Jessica welcomes renowned relationship teacher and NYT best-selling author and podcast host, Jillian Turecki, for a grounded, radically honest look at why our love lives can feel stuck, painful, or endlessly cyclical—even after doing years of self-help work.

They explore what it really means to take accountability without blame, why nervous system regulation is the missing piece in most relationship advice, and how to tell the difference between a need and a wound. Jillian opens up about her own divorce, how her father’s betrayal shaped her patterns, and what it took to fully reclaim her worth.

You’ll also hear practical tools for pausing reactivity, unpacking unhealthy dynamics, and moving from “I am this” to “I’m working on this.” Whether you’re heartbroken, dating, partnered, or reflecting on your past, this episode will give you a new framework for conscious love.

Healing your relationship patterns isn’t about finding the perfect person—it’s about becoming your truest self so the most aligned dynamic can find you.

**Trigger Warning: Brief mention of “Big T” childhood traumas between 50:35 through 51:18 **

Find the complete show notes here -> https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast

 

Resources: 

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This Episode is brought to you by: 

• Seed - Use 25MAGNETIC at checkout for 25% off your first month
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• Bon Charge - 15% off with code MAGNETIC 
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In This Episode We Talk About:

• How to take accountability in relationships without falling into self-blame
• The connection between childhood wounds and adult relationship dynamics
• Recognizing emotional needs vs. surface-level triggers in partnership
• Why reactivity destroys connection—and how to build the pause muscle
• The myth of finding “everything” in one person
• How trauma bonds are formed through shared emotional wounds
• How personal accountability and nervous system regulation can lead you to your highest self
• Moving from fixed identity (“I am avoidant”) to fluid healing
• Tools for catching black-and-white thinking and inner protector parts
• Shifting from victimhood to empowerment in family relationships
• Why your partner is a mirror—and how to read the reflection
• Choosing partners as a reflection of your evolving self-worth

 

Mentioned In the Episode: 

• Jillian’s book: It Begins With You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life 
• Find our Money Challenge plus all our workshops and all workshops mentioned inside our Pathway Membership (Including the Conflict DI, Self-Love DI, and Reset DI)

 

Connect with Jillian!

• Jillian on IG @jillianturecki
• Jillian’s podcast On Love
• It Begins With You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life

Where To Find Us!

• @tobemagnetic (IG)
• @Lacyannephillips
• Lacy Launched a Substack! - By Candlelight - Join Here
• @Jessicaashleygill
• @tobemagnetic (youtube)
• @expandedpodcast