This coaching call is about why we play out childish patterns even though we are adults. Today’s caller, Caitlyn, lost her father as a teenager and still shames herself for the decisions she made shortly after. Christine walks her through the empty chair process so she can talk with her father about her feelings and actions.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode440].

 

Many of us can relate to doing things in our adult lives without understanding why we are doing them. We are often aware of what we are doing and we know better, but we can’t seem to change our behavior. That is our inner child repeating a pattern from when a trauma was formed. Plus, when we feel shame about something, it can make us want to isolate and not ask for help.

 

When we have a big trauma like losing our primary parent, or someone we are extremely close to, a part of our psyche gets frozen at that age. And, oftentimes, when we go through any type of loss we go into survival and we don’t give ourselves the time to grieve. If there is a loss you haven’t fully processed, you are encouraged to create a ceremony or set up an environment to help you fully grieve.

 

Are you ready to heal your inner child, set intentions, and reclaim your peace, purpose, and joy? If so, begin your 10-week journey on February 29th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/reconnect.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you find yourself doing things that are immature and you are not proud of yet you can't seem to stop?

• Did you have a trauma in your teenage years that is still impacting you on some level?

• Do you have regret, judgment, and shame about how you acted or reacted to things?

• Have you lost someone you love and would like to reconnect with them?

 

Caitlyn’s Question:

Caitlyn struggles with telling untruths to the people who love and care about her. She asks for guidance on how to change her behavior.

 

Caitlyn’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She stretches the truth and is embarrassed by it.

• She is 6-years clean from alcohol and drugs.

• She recently joined a fellowship.

• She feels shame and avoids people.

• She thinks people won’t like her if she is her true self.

• Her father passed away when she was in high school.

• She believes her father would be ashamed of her actions.

• She is scared that she has ruined her life.

• She may be frozen in time emotionally.

• She hasn’t fully grieved her father.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Do the empty chair process and have a conversation with her father.

• Realize she did the best she could given the circumstances.

• Grieve the loss of her father.

• Forgive herself for the decisions she made when she was 15.

 

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

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