In this episode, Colleen dives deep into how shifting your focus from what you don’t want to what you truly desire can transform your mindset and your relationship with alcohol—and beyond. She explains why the brain’s operating system doesn’t understand “don’t” and “shouldn’t” and how these error codes keep us stuck in overthinking and emotional inflammation. Colleen offers practical strategies to build neural pathways toward what you do want by reverse engineering your thought processes and connecting to how you want to feel. Whether you’re navigating alcohol use disorder or any other life challenge, this episode provides actionable steps to clarify your goals and move forward.

Key Takeaways:

• Alcohol Use Disorder as a Teacher: Alcohol use disorder gives us a unique lens to study our thought patterns—both the ones we want to cultivate and the ones we need to release.
• The Problem with “I Don’t Want This”: The brain operates in concrete images and emotions. Focusing on what you don’t want doesn’t provide actionable instructions for change; it creates error codes that lead to overthinking.
• Creating Neural Pathways for What You Do Want: To achieve your goals, you must articulate what you want clearly and vividly. This allows your brain to create actionable steps toward your desired outcome.
• Start with How You Want to Feel: When you’re unsure of what you want, focus on the emotions you’d like to experience. Reverse engineer your thought processes and actions to align with that feeling.
• Small Steps Lead to Big Change: Your first goal may simply be to start imagining your vision for the future. Take small steps, journal, reflect, and celebrate progress as you clarify your purpose and align with your values.

Action Steps:

1. Shift Your Focus: Instead of thinking about what you don’t want, ask yourself, What do I want? Be as specific as possible.
2. Identify the Feeling: If you can’t clearly articulate your goal, start with how you want to feel. Use that emotion as your compass.
3. Reverse Engineer Your Goals: Once you’ve identified how you want to feel, ask yourself what thoughts and actions would support that feeling.
4. Start Small: Begin journaling or reflecting on your values, passions, and long-term vision. Even small steps toward clarity are wins worth celebrating.

Homework: Take 5-10 minutes today to reflect on an area of your life where you’ve been stuck focusing on what you don’t want. Write down:

• What you do want (or how you want to feel).
• A thought you could practice to align with that feeling.
• One small action step you can take today to start moving in that direction.

Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. If you’re ready to fully commit to your personal growth and do the work to get emotionally sober (side effects include an 80 percent reduction in drinking),You'll walk away from our call with a clear understanding of how to get the skills you need to transform your life.

 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

 

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