In today’s episode, Colleen challenges you to radically shift how you dialogue with yourself by treating yourself as a trusted friend and cherished companion. Discover how identity-based change starts with the way you talk to yourself and how this simple practice can crowd out negative self-talk, foster self-respect, and lead to lasting transformation.

Key Takeaways:

• Thoughts and Identity:
  • Your thoughts are powerful and habitual, shaping your identity and influencing your ability to change.
  • Behavior-based change—trying to prove your worth through actions—often fails because it conflicts with how you see yourself.
  • Identity-based change is rooted in deciding who you want to be and practicing that identity through small, consistent actions.
• The Power of Self-Talk:
  • People with a growth mindset tell themselves better stories and respect the main character of their story—themselves.
  • By consciously shifting your inner dialogue to focus on trust, gratitude, and encouragement, you can build a positive relationship with yourself.
• Creating a New Habit of Supportive Self-Talk:
  • Speak to yourself as though you are your best friend or most important responsibility.
  • Acknowledge and thank yourself for small acts of care throughout the day, like making your bed, preparing a meal, or taking a break.
  • Reframe challenges as opportunities to support yourself and build trust in your ability to handle life’s obstacles.

Action Steps:

1. Decide Who You Want to Be:
   • Choose the thoughts and identity you want to cultivate.
2. Practice Supportive Self-Talk:
   • Talk to yourself in the third person or second person (e.g., “Colleen needs a walk right now to reset her day”).
   • Acknowledge and thank yourself for the small ways you show up for yourself every day.
3. Build the Habit Gradually:
   • Celebrate your wins, even partial ones, and let positive self-talk become a natural part of your inner narrative.
   • Notice and interrupt negative self-talk when it arises, and replace it with trust-building affirmations.

Homework: Throughout the day, speak to yourself in the third person and notice how it feels. For every action you take, remind yourself of how you’re working hard on your own behalf, and follow it up with gratitude and encouragement. Reflect on how this shift in self-talk impacts your mood, motivation, and sense of self.

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