In today’s episode, Colleen explores a common challenge: the struggle to maintain consistent effort in self-care and personal growth. She uncovers the hidden beliefs that might be driving resistance and shares how shifting your motivation—from fixing yourself to gifting yourself—can transform your relationship with self-care. Learn how to reconnect with your future self, reframe your mindset, and take actions that feel like a gift rather than a chore.

Key Takeaways:

• The Truth About Resistance:

  • Resistance to self-care often stems from subconscious beliefs that you need to “fix” yourself.
  • Shame-driven motivation triggers your brain’s habenula, putting the brakes on your energy and motivation.

• Reframe Self-Care as a Gift:

  • Think of self-care as a way to set your future self up for success, not as a punishment for being “broken.”
  • Actions taken with the intention to benefit your future self feel more rewarding and are easier to sustain.

• Performance vs. Iterative Mindset:

  • Shift from a performance-driven mindset (judging yourself by today’s productivity) to an iterative mindset (learning from yesterday’s results to create better outcomes).
  • Celebrate progress and focus on creating strategies that align with your goals and intentions.

• Curiosity Over Judgment:

  • When you feel resistance, pause and get curious about the story you’re telling yourself.
  • Resistance may reveal an action that’s misaligned with your true needs or a belief rooted in shame.

Actionable Steps:

1. Notice the Story:

   • Pay attention to the thoughts and beliefs that arise when you feel resistance to self-care or personal growth.
   • Ask yourself: What story am I telling myself about why I have to do this?

2. Reframe the Action:

   • Shift your mindset to see self-care as a gift to your future self.
   • For example, “I’m doing this now to make tomorrow easier and more enjoyable for me.”

3. Practice Intentional Choices:

   • Pause before acting and ask, “Does this action align with where I want to be and how I want to feel?”
   • If not, adjust your actions or remove them from your to-do list.

4. Reflect and Realign:

   • Take time to evaluate whether your actions are motivated by self-criticism or self-love.
   • Reorganize your priorities to focus on actions that genuinely serve you.

Homework: Identify one self-care action that feels difficult or unmotivating and reframe it as a gift to your future self. Practice gratitude toward yourself for taking that action, and notice how it shifts your motivation and energy.

 

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