In today’s episode, Colleen shares a powerful perspective shift that can change everything about how you experience drinking—without focusing on drinking at all. Instead of obsessing over how much you drink, the real work is learning how to respond to yourself after you drink.

She walks through a personal experience of having a hangover without guilt, shame, or frustration—just curiosity, self-care, and a deep understanding of what led to the decision in the first place. This episode will help you in your journey to break free from the belief that drinking is the problem and show you why emotional inflammation—shame, guilt, and self-judgment—is what actually keeps you stuck.

Key Takeaways: The Real Cause of Alcohol Use Disorder (It’s Not the Alcohol)

• The root issue isn’t how much you drink—it’s how you think about your drinking.
• The cycle of overdrinking is fueled by guilt, stress, and the belief that you should be doing better.
• Alcohol use disorder is 90% a thinking problem and only 10% a drinking problem.

Why Self-Judgment Keeps You Stuck

• The perception that you failed after drinking too much triggers stress and hopelessness.
• The more you believe drinking is a problem, the more your brain craves a way to escape that stress.
• The key to breaking the cycle isn’t drinking less—it’s removing the emotional charge from your drinking.

How to Have a Hangover Without the Emotional Drama

• The way you treat yourself after a setback determines what happens next.
• Self-compassion leads to curiosity and learning, which makes future change easier.
• The most powerful shift is learning to accept yourself, no matter what.

Actionable Steps to Shift Your Mindset About Drinking: 1. Separate Your Drinking from Your Self-Worth

• Instead of asking, “Why did I do this again?” ask: “What was going on before I made this decision?”
• Drop the judgment—just gather data and learn from it.

2. Reframe How You Think About Overdrinking

• Overdrinking isn’t a failure—it’s information.
• You don’t need to promise yourself you’ll “never do this again.”
• What if nothing has gone wrong? What if this is part of the process?

3. Take Care of Yourself Without Punishment

• Instead of beating yourself up, create a self-care plan for the next morning: ✅ Drink water, eat nourishing food, and get some fresh air. ✅ Move slowly and give yourself space to rest. ✅ Remind yourself: “I am learning. I am growing. I am okay.”

Homework:

The next time you wake up feeling regret about drinking, pause and ask: ✔ “What if nothing has gone wrong?” ✔ “What would it feel like to be kind to myself right now?” ✔ “How can I take care of myself today—without punishing myself?”

Because the truth is, it’s not your drinking that needs to change—it’s your relationship with yourself.

Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. If you’re ready to fully commit to your personal growth and do the work to get emotionally sober (side effects include an 80 percent reduction in drinking),You'll walk away from our call with a clear understanding of how to get the skills you need to transform your life.

 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

 

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—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?