I may very well be pissing off the personal development Gods today, but bear with me.

If you dabble in self-help at all, you’ve probably heard the advice of not taking things personally. If you’re new to this advice or need some clarification, what the message is saying is: If you take the words and actions of others personally, it’s easy to fall into the victim role, spend your life chasing approval from others, and just generally making everything about you when it isn’t. I totally get that and agree.

But, here’s what I don’t like and what I take issue with. People hear this advice and look at it as being very black or white. Either we don’t take things personally at all and feel good about ourselves, or we do take things personally and live in this hellfire and brimstone world of damnation where we are victims and prey to others. Yes, that was dramatic, but sometimes self-help can be make people feel like YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.

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