The idiom "to take offense" reveals a fundamental truth on the matter, namely: offense is taken, not given. Those who have had the misfortune of having an enemy -- someone who is acting deliberately provocative -- know that they can control their reactions, so as not to give the provoker the satisfaction. This indicates that we have agency in the decision to become offended -- and also that we needn't necessarily assume responsibility when someone else has decided to become so.