Ghosting. Open relationships. Bathroom kisses. Where does cheating actually begin?

This week's Phone a Friend takes Autumn and Donald somewhere they never expected.

A married couple from Mentor, Ohio writes in about navigating an "open relationship-ish" dynamic that's built on honesty... but constantly derailed by ghosting, mixed signals, and trying to find someone who actually fits into their relationship. Along the way, Donald learns a new term—ethical non-monogamy—and the conversation turns into an honest look at how modern relationships really work.

Then another letter changes everything.

After a night of drinking, one listener shares that she and a female friend kissed in a bathroom at a house party. Both women have boyfriends. Now she's questioning what it meant, whether it counts as cheating, and what she's supposed to do next.

Autumn and Donald tackle questions about boundaries, honesty, bisexuality, jealousy, open relationships, emotional fidelity, and why the hardest conversations are often the ones we avoid having with the people we love most.

Donald also opens up about the first kiss that completely changed the direction of his life, while Autumn explains why boundaries only work when everyone actually knows what they are.

If you've ever wondered:

• Is kissing someone else cheating?
• Can open relationships actually work?
• What's the difference between ethical non-monogamy and an open relationship?
• Should every mistake be confessed?
• How do couples build trust instead of jealousy?

...this episode is for you.

Send us your Phone a Friend
Have something you'd like Autumn and Donald to unpack?

• Email: [email protected]
• Subject Line: Phone a Friend

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• @autumncalabrese
• @donaldstamper

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Time Stamps
0:00 The neighbors' backyard rave interrupts the podcast
0:46 An "open-ish" couple asks why everyone keeps ghosting them
2:41 Finding a third isn't as easy as people think
5:14 The guy from Italy who disappeared
7:53 Where does the third person actually fit?
10:39 Is sexuality something people choose?
12:06 Where couples actually meet people
15:39 Dating vs. playing: what's the difference?
16:28 Donald learns what "ethical non-monogamy" means
19:18 A drunken bathroom kiss changes everything
21:06 Autumn: "Yes, that's cheating."
26:48 Donald shares the kiss that changed his life
28:50 Should every mistake be confessed?
31:50 The conversation you need before talking to your partner
36:20 When TV sparks unexpected curiosity
39:23 Double standards around sexuality
42:52 Sexuality exists on a spectrum
46:18 Why hiding parts of yourself damages relationships
48:11 What real security looks like between partners
51:24 "Can I kiss you?" — the respectful question that stood out
56:08 Send us your Phone a Friend!