For most people after being ghosted or discarded by a Borderline or Narcissist Ex
rumination is central and very painful. For those also with Limerence this
focus on the Ex can be even more intense. The intense focus on the Cluster B
increases your pain and your increased pain will exacerbate the intensity of
your focus on the Cluster B. This is agony, and dangerous emotionally and physically
because it means that your mind and body are in a hyperfocused and hyperaroused state
of flight/figh, freeze or fawn trauma response. Most people need professional help
to learn how to cope more effectively and break the cycles of this unhealthy focus
that can block your recovery.