The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

Facing the Inner Critic: Moving from Shame to Vulnerability


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In this episode, Drew, the avoidant partner in his relationship with Melissa, begins to confront his deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and shame. Drew's inner critic, which has driven him to seek perfection and self-improvement, also caused emotional pain and isolation. As he starts to unravel these complex feelings, he struggles to articulate them but makes significant progress in acknowledging their impact on his life and relationship.

Julie’s guidance helps Drew understand that these negative beliefs don’t define him and encourages him to be vulnerable, even if it’s not perfectly expressed. This shift is crucial for Drew, who has often avoided confronting these emotions. Melissa’s empathetic response underscores the importance of mutual support and understanding in a relationship. Their interaction highlights a move from old patterns of avoidance and self-criticism to a more connected and secure relationship.

Have you ever faced challenges with vulnerability in your relationship, especially as an avoidant partner? How might addressing these deep-seated feelings impact your connection with others? This episode offers insights into transforming avoidance into meaningful emotional engagement.

  • Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
  • For weekly homework assignments visit Julie's website: The Secure Relationship
  • Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime
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The Secure Love Podcast with Julie MenannoBy Julie Menanno

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