Dr Christine is a Coercive Control Educator, Researcher & Survivor. In this episode, I speak with Dr. Christine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW.  She is a college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years and a social justice advocate for a local domestic violence agency, since the age of 19. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of adult and child victims, diligently supporting these vulnerable populations. Dr. C., a Founding Member of the International Coercive Control Conference and a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported codifying coercive control, writing numerous policy briefs supporting these efforts. Dr Christine , together with Amy Polacko, are the Authors of the soon-to-be-released "Framed - Women in the Family Court Underworld".

 You can contact Dr Christine through her website here

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Nova xx

While "I love you" may seem genuine, narcissists often use these words as a tool for control and manipulation. In this episode, we unpack the hidden meaning behind the phrase "I love you" when spoken by a narcissist.  We'll explore how their version of love differs from healthy relationships, and why these declarations often come with strings attached. Learn to identify the red flags and protect yourself from emotional manipulation, as we delve into the true intentions behind a narcissist's "I love you." Tune in to gain clarity and reclaim your emotional well-being. 

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Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

Gaslighting makes you feel crazy! In this episode, we explore 10 Gaslighting Phrases the narcissist manipulates you with, shedding light on the subtle and damaging tactics used to distort your reality. These manipulative phrases are designed to control, confuse, and erode your self-esteem. 

In this episode we explore...
* text book gaslighting phrases used by all narcissists.
* Why Gaslighting makes you feel crazy!
* how narcissists use these gaslighting lines and phrases to maintain control, keep you questioning yourself, and make you feel powerless.
* How to recognise these harmful phrases and protect yourself from emotional abuse. 
And much more!...

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Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

Whether you're just considering going no contact or are already in the process, this episode offers valuable insights, validation, and support on your journey to recovery from narcissistic relationships. In this episode, I explore the life-changing decision of going no contact with a narcissist and why it's a crucial step for healing.  When survivors maintain any form of contact with a narcissist, whether direct or indirect, it can have devastating effects on their emotional and psychological well-being.Learn how to overcome the challenges of cutting ties with a narcissist, set healthy boundaries, and protect your emotional well-being. I share practical strategies to help you break free from narcissistic abuse, reclaim your power, and start fresh. 

In this episode we unpack.....

* The importance of going no contact in your healing journey.
* The mistakes people make trying to go no contact with their abuser
* How to go no contact like a boss!

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Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

Vanessa is best known for running in a wedding dress, the state of New York (285 miles in 11 days), to raise awareness for narcissistic abuse. Vanessa M. Reiser is a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), licensed in New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, and Florida. She is a psychotherapist and the founder of Tell a Therapist, LLC as well as the founder of the nonprofit, Tell a Therapist, INC. She is also the Author of  - "Narcissistic Abuse: A Therapist's Guide to Identifying, Escaping, and Healing from Toxic and Manipulative People"

 Vanessa specializes in narcissistic personality disorder, and her practice focuses on treating victims and survivors of cults, narcissists, domestic violence, and narcissistic abuse. Her insights are both personal and professional, giving her a unique lens into this insidious form of domestic abuse. .

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Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

Narcissists expertly avoid accountability and deflect blame, while making you question your own reality. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we dive deep into the narcissist's favourite tactic—blame shifting. We'll explore how narcissists twist the truth to keep control, leaving victims trapped in self-doubt and confusion. Learn the key signs of blame shifting, understand why it's such a powerful tool in narcissistic abuse, and get practical tips to protect yourself from their toxic manipulation. Reclaim your power and stop the cycle of emotional abuse today!

In this episode we discuss the following narcissistic blame shifting strategies....

1. Turning the Tables
When called out for their wrongdoings, a narcissist will quickly flip the script. 

2. Playing the VictimThis tactic shifts attention away from their misdeeds and redirects sympathy towards them. 

3. Bringing Up the Past
When confronted with a present issue, a narcissist will often dredge up old arguments or mistakes you've made in the past. 

4. Minimising Your Feelings
 By diminishing your emotions, they invalidate your experience and make you question whether your reaction is justified.

5. Blaming Outside Circumstances
 This makes it seem like they're powerless to control their actions, which excuses their wrongdoings.
And much more!

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Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

 Whether it’s Christmas, your birthday, or a long-anticipated holiday, you can almost guarantee that a narcissist will find a way to ruin it. One of the most common tactics that narcissists use to maintain control is to sabotage any event that brings you joy. This pattern of behaviour is not accidental—it’s part of a deliberate strategy to manipulate, control, and undermine you. But why do narcissists do this?

In this episode we unpack.....

*the narcissist's agenda in ruining special occasion 
*Narcissism traits such as envy when you're happy. 
*Techniques the narcissistic person uses to ruin the day 'discretely'.
And much more!......

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
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Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

The daughter of a narcissistic mother spends their whole life trying to please a toxic parent, who can't or won't love them unconditionally. To a narcissistic mother, their daughter represents a threat to their grandiose view of themselves.   They hang in there however,  thinking one day,  ONE DAY, their mother will change. They feel a sense of duty and  obligation to keep trying to love a toxic parent who will never love them back.

In this episode we unpack...
* How narcissistic mothers view their daughter.
* The competitive nature of the narcissistic mother's feelings towards her daughter. 
* The long term negative emotional, psychological,  and adult relationship issues that daughters of narcissistic mothsers face.
*Healing from, going minimal contact, and escaping the toxic relationship. 
*Grieving the loss of a mother who is still alive.   

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Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

Narcissists love to keep as many exes as they can waiting in the wings so they can recycle them. But why do they do this? Why do they want to keep someone around whom they professed to hate so much?  If you have been abused by a narcissist in the past then it's really important to understand the how and why narcissists recycle their ex-victims so you can protect yourself, and this episode will help you to do just that.

In this episode we unpack...
* Why the narcissist discards their victim and comes back when they feel like it
* Why it is so hard to resist the narcissist's attempts if you haven't blocked them.
* The importance of understanding the 'recycling' process so you never fall victim to it.
* Why some previous targets secretly wish the narcissist will come back to them.
* How to make it impossible for the narcissist to come back.
And much more!

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
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Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

You can leave a Rating and a Review here

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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

A narcissistic boss or colleague, workplace bullying and covert measures of abuse make your life hell when you have to see them every day! 
What do you when this is your job, you can't leave,  and you spend more time with these people than you do with your family?
In this fascinating episode I talk with David Gillespie, the Author of 'Toxic at Work - Surviving Your Psychopathic Workmates from the Dominant Boss to the Charming Manipulators', to answer this question.

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
If Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

You can leave a Rating and a Review here

You Can Share this Podcast here

Join me on FB here
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Please Buy me a coffee ❤️

Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx