#265: Something I hear quite often from folks is that while they feel really solid in their independence when they’re alone, their emotional outsourcing tendencies seem to suddenly get amplified as soon as they're in relationship, especially romantic relationship. Why does this happen?

Join me this week as I explore the crossfire between our independence and our almost desperate need to connect with and please others. I'll share some of the psychological factors at play that lead to a heightened sense of codependence and people-pleasing inside relationships and my favorite remedies for stepping out of the shadow of old habits and into the light of self-awareness.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/265

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#264: Did you know that the health of some of your most important bodily systems – from your nervous system to your reproductive function – is impacted by how loved, safe, and secure you feel in the world? Relating is one of the most vital parts of being a human, and this week, I'm joined by Master Life Coach and self-proclaimed relationship nerd Maggie Reyes to discuss how to do it better.

Listen in as Maggie and I dive into the importance of cultivating coregulation in our relationships, what it means to relate to others with gentle loving kindness, and why our nervous systems are at optimal function when we’re relating well.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/264

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#263: We can’t end this month of love without touching on one of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves: platonic love. This week, I’m introducing you to several of my closest friends –  Suneye, Jules, and Juana – and we're exploring why our friendships are the perfect playground to practice healthy relating. 

Join us as we discuss why you should consider who you’re keeping in your circles, the power of treating your friends like your most beloved family, and how to release the story that it’s hard to make friends as an adult.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/263

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#262: My guest this week has a story that is truly emblematic of what’s possible when you choose you. Like so many people in helping professions, Lashonda Payne was noticing some emotional outsourcing patterns in her life until she decided she needed support. By joining our Anchored community, almost-doctor Lashonda showed herself the power of self-love and unconditional care, and she’s offering the gifts that have come from doing this work on this episode.

Join us this week as Lashonda and I discuss why emotional outsourcing is a norm for people in helping professions, how this work has impacted Lashonda’s relationships, and the importance of choosing self-love as you embark on a journey of healing.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/262

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#261: I have the most special treat for you this week! I am finally and with so much pride introducing you to my wife, Billey Albina. There is so much in how Billey and I interact that demonstrates the full embodiment of living in interdependence, and I know that sharing about our relationship will be helpful for all of you who want to free yourselves from co-dependency and people-pleasing.

Tune in this week to hear Billey and I share about our love, our interdependence, and how we keep our relationship a safe and loving place for both of us. We walk through our six ground rules for fair fighting, how we handle conflict with each other, and the various tools we use to communicate effectively. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/261

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#260: For many of us folks raised as women with people-pleasing tendencies, receiving compliments can feel like danger in the body. Even when the person’s intention is good, it can still leave us feeling exposed and uncomfortable. To discuss why this happens and what we can do about it, I’m joined by my friend, Master-Certified Sex and Pleasure Coach Danielle Savory. 

Danielle and I discuss why receiving compliments, attention, and care can sometimes feel uncomfortable, and the power of asking for and giving consent in these conversations. Tune in to learn what is happening somatically when we are expected to receive, the connection between feeling safe and being seen, and why you can’t bypass the brain when bringing mindfulness to the body. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/260

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#259: The modern dating experience can be incredibly isolating, but you’re definitely not alone if you feel like you’re struggling. My guest today, Lily Womble, is an intersectional feminist dating coach who’s here to break down the seemingly endless list of dumb dating rules we're fed today so we can actually create the epic, healthy love life we all want.

Lily Womble is the founder and CEO of Date Brazen: a company that helps badass feminist humans build joyful dating lives that make their right relationship inevitable. Join us on this episode as we explore what it means to take back our agency in dating, the importance of practicing self-compassion, and Lily’s intersectional feminist approach to settle-proofing your love life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/259

Mentioned in this episode:

Save Your Spot for 12 Days to End Emotional Outsourcing!

12 Days to End Emotional Outsourcing is my free, live daily program that I’m teaching from December 15th 2025 to the 26th. This is where you’ll learn how to help your nervous system stop scanning everyone else so you can start hearing you again.

12 Days to End Emotional Outsourcing

#258: How often do you catch yourself acting selflessly in an attempt to feel valued? You're not alone. Lots of us build our identity around the ways we're needed by others, sometimes without realizing it. Unfortunately, while feeling needed can temporarily satisfy a longing for connection or validation, this dependency creates a cycle of negativity that stands between us and true interdependence. 

So how can we define a new version of ourselves? Join me this week to discover the true cost of needing to be needed, how you might be using your selflessness story as a cloak against taking responsibility, and my favorite remedies for beginning to step away from this story.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/258

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#257: Do you find yourself feeling confused or frustrated in situations that demand an emotional response? How did it come to be this way, and what can we do to reconnect with our feelings? 

Avoidance of emotions in adulthood tends to overlap with an upbringing in which a "sweep-it-under-the-rug" philosophy was modeled, and this emotional silence leaves a profound and long-lasting imprint on us. Join me this week to learn the biological and psychological implications of growing up in an environment of emotional suppression, and how we can begin the process of emotional repair. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/257

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#256: I’ve had the honor of being a regular contributor to the Honeydew Me Podcast, hosted by Emma Norman and Cass Anderson. I was recently on the show to dive deep into somatics, sex, and feeling our feelings, and it was such a great conversation that I’m sharing that episode with you here.

At Honeydew Me, Emma and Cass’s mission is to have conversations about mind-blowing orgasms, feeling confident in the bedroom, and busting through the shame of it all. Tune in as Emma, Cass and I explore why the work of somatics matters so much, and why we get somatically disconnected in the first place. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/256

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety